Antigonish
by sentinel10
Summary: Leah wanted nothing more but to just have him back. They could keep everything else, she just wanted him back. "Just stop…" She whispered into the dark room, face down on the cold floor. She could smell her own blood but she didn't even flinch.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. The poem titled 'Antigonish' belongs to the great William Hughes Mearns.**

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

**

* * *

**

_Yesterday upon the stair_

_I met a man who wasn't there_

_He wasn't there again today_

_Oh, how I wish he'd go away_

* * *

**PART l ONE**

Leah sat on the old tattered couch of her small home. The home that once was vibrant with life. The home that held her childhood, the memories of her father, of her mother and brother, of when times were carefree and when all the love in the world ran through the house. She closed her eyes tightly as fresh tears streamed down her already puffy cheeks. She knew that crying would do no good. Nothing was any good any more. She wondered why she even bothered to get up in the morning, when you have nothing to live for.

The house had become smaller, either that or it just felt smaller. Leah didn't know if she was losing her mind or not but she was sure, she could hear every creak in the floor boards and the soft hum the light bulb would make from the electricity running through it. Maybe if she could get the electricity to run through her veins the pain her body would feel, would distract her from the pain in her heart.

The house, the house was breathing. The creaks and groans the house made where driving her mad. She didn't want the fucking house to breath. It was annoying and stupid and reminded her that it was just her in the small, old lonely house.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP" Leah shrieked getting up and throwing the small side table across the room making it smash against the wall. She dropped to her knees, feeling extreme pain shot threw them and fell forward, her cheek pressing against the cold wooden floor. She held her hands next to her head but she could bring herself to push back up. She had lost the fight. She was always losing.

She felt her legs become numb from kneeling on them for so long but she couldn't move. She wanted to sit and cry until things were better again, until he came back and held her like he used to. That he would come back and wrap her small body up in his large hands and chest. How he would kiss her mouth softly and tell her things would be okay and that he loved her.

Leah's knuckles where turning white as she thought about him. Her throat become dry and the sobs became wails until her whole body was shaking. She felt like she was howling even though she couldn't phase.

Crying didn't help, but there was nothing else to do. What do you do when the love of your life leaves you? When you find someone that fixes you heart, makes you feel special and loved and like you're the only girl in the world, only to have them rip it out and eat it.

He didn't just re-break the heart Samuel Uley had managed to do first, but he shattered it. He shattered it so that no matter who was next, they wouldn't be able to find the pieces. It was shattered until the glass of her heart turned to dust and it floated away in the wind. There would now always be parts missing, she would never be able to be complete again. She guessed it was karma. Karma from not being a good enough daughter, sister, pack mate or friend. There was only one thing Leah had been good at.

Being with _him_.

He had made her better, he had fixed her, he had loved her, her had shown her grace, he had held her, he had fucking promised her.

Leah's legs buckled and her knees slumped to the sides. She couldn't hold the weight off the cold hard floor anymore. She grunted as her shoulder slid up the wood and came to a stop once her rounded belly hit the floor.

She didn't care anymore, about anything. She didn't care that she had lost over 20 pounds in the last 3 months even though her stomach was getting rounder. She didn't care that her mother called everyday only to be hung up on. She didn't care about the howls that would come from the woods, calling to her, summoning her to meet her pack, which she hadn't seen in months. She didn't care that she hadn't slept solidly since he left. She didn't care that the Voulturi was coming to kill the Cullen's. She wanted them to come, she wanted the Voulturi to kill them all. She wanted them to suffer, even just once.

She hated them.

She hated that they had everything she couldn't. She hated that they got to live happily ever after, yet they were the ones that killed animals and some even humans. They were the bad guys, not her. And yet they still had everything, money, eternal life, family, love, children, and _him._

Leah wanted nothing more but to just have him back. They could keep everything else, she just wanted him back.

"Just stop…" She whispered into the dark room, face down on the cold floor. She could smell her own blood but she didn't even flinch with concern. She grasped her hands over the small silver ring that sat upon her left ring finger. She fingered the ring delicately, tracing its every curve in the dark. It was Sarah's ring. The same ring that Billy had given Sarah on their wedding day. Leah closed her eyes, remembering Sarah Black.

She was the most beautiful woman ever. Her long ebony hair, her kind eyes, her perfect skin tone, her slim seductive body. But it was her love that Leah envied most. Sarah had loved Billy and her children with everything she had. Even in the end Leah knew Sarah would have been thinking about them before the drunk driver collided head on with her car.

It hurt to think that Leah couldn't even love the child that was growing inside her. It had been the one thing she thought she could never have, and now, now she had it and she didn't want it. She couldn't love something that looked exactly like the man that had broken her. She would have let him break every bone in her body, rip every muscle from its bone, tear her flesh until she bled out. She wished he would have down all those things instead of leaving her with a broken heart.

She clamped her right hand over her left to stop the shaking. She hadn't been able to take the ring of her finger. It had been months and still she couldn't do it. Sometimes she would just look at it and cry. It was a constant memory that had made everything real.

That had made _him_ real.

* * *

_~Flash Back~_

Leah and Jacob lay sprawled in the sheets, covered in sweat and coated with the intoxicating smell of each other. It had only been 3 months and somehow they had moved very fast from friends to lovers. She had long been over Sam, and Jacob had told Leah her had accepted that Bella had chosen Edward.

Jacob kissed Leah softly running his lips over her swollen ones.

"I love you Leah" He said holding her close, so close that they were one.

One entity.

One soul.

One heart.

Leah sighed running her hands through his short cropped black hair. "I know, and I love you too" She said smiling up at the man who had snatched her heart away. She hadn't realised it had happened until he smashed his lips down on hers so long ago. It felt right with Jacob Black, because when she was with him, the world seemed right. It didn't seem so dark and hateful and unforgiving.

It just seemed right.

Jacob grasped her small hand in his and slipped something on her finger all the way up to her knuckle. Leah wriggled her hand free and looked down.

The moon light shone on the small silver ring. It was beautiful, simple, but beautiful. She had remember the ring, it belonged to his mother. It was the ring Billy had given to her. The ring was a promise of love.

"Jacob, this – this is – Sarah's ring, I can't-"

He hushed her with his lips and kissed her deeply sending butterflies floating through not only her stomach but her whole body.

"Marry me Leah" He said nibbling softly on her jaw line.

Leah moaned as his lips moved everywhere. She arched her body and threw her head back. His large calloused hands where so gentle it was driving her insane. He kissed down her neck and suckled on her collar bone send a wave of heat straight through her. He moved back up and captured her lips with his own and cupped her face.

"Marry me Leah" He said again nodding his head and waiting for her answer.

"What – what if you end up Imprinting Jake? Would you still marry me then? Would you still even love me? Jake, if you leave me I'll die. How can you even ask me this?" Leah said softly as her heart began to crack thinking about Jacob leaving her.

"Leah look at me" He said still with his hands cupping her warm cheeks.

Leah's eyes met his and she was instantly lost. His orbs where like silk. A silky baby brown that looked back at her with so much love and need. He needed her just as much as she needed him. And even though Leah was lost in his eyes, she had somehow been found. He had saved her, he had made her feel again and she loved him with all her heart. From his brown eyes all the way to his warm heart. She place her hand on his chest and felt his heart. He spoke again, softly and lovingly.

"I'll never leave you Leah. I am going to marry you no matter what" He said sincerely.

_~End Flashback~_

* * *

She believed him.

And he lied.

He did leave her, and he wasn't going to marry Leah.

He was going to marry Renesmee... eventually.

He was now bound to a creature that by everyone's eyes looked like human. She wasn't. She was half dead. She was the puppet of a world that drank the blood of innocent creatures. She was the spawn of a doomed love. Her father had killed her mother. Not in the sense of her being dead, but inadvertently killing her humanity. The blood that ran through Renesmee's veins was tainted, bad and voodoo. She was the result of Leah's world ceasing to exist.

That little Halfling had taken everything away from Leah. And she wished from the top of her head to the tips of her toes that the Voulturi would rip the little bitch's heart out and feed it to the worms.

Then and only then, Jacob Black would know just how much it hurt.

* * *

**AN: Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. The poem titled 'Antigonish' belongs to the great William Hughes Mearns.**

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

_When I came home last night at three_

_The man was waiting there for me_

_But when I looked around the hall_

_I couldn't see him there at all!_

* * *

**Part l Two**

Leah didn't know how long she had been lying on the floor. Really she couldn't have given a flying fuck. She wanted to lay there until the world slipped away, till the pain would stop. The sun light was now peeking through the tops of the window sills, threatening to engulf the room with light. She didn't want it to. She didn't want the sun to rise and kiss her body, just how Jacob used to. She didn't want it to shine into the lonely house that they used to spend hours on end with each other.

She wanted the sun to burn out, wither away and die, leave her the fuck alone. It was taunting her. Telling her that with each new sun comes a new day. She didn't care. She only wanted the old days back. She didn't care about any kind of future without him in it. She couldn't even make her self-care.

Why should she care when it was all gone? Why should she get up off the floor and push on with life? Why?

And for those exact reasons she stayed on the floor in a heaped mess. The phone rang, and it was ignored. There were knocks on the door and they were left unattended. Leah just stared at the wall, wishing with all her might Jacob would come back. The sun rose and set several times before the door was kicked down by an extremely angry Paul.

His nostrils were flared and his eyes were narrowed peering into the dark room. His eyes softened the moment he saw Leah on the ground, in clothes he had seen her wearing a week ago. He slammed the door behind him and flicked on the lights.

Leah was on the floor curled into herself. She looked like a small child. Her black locks where messy and tangled and her face was sunken in. She looked like she hadn't eaten, let alone slept in weeks.

"Leah" He said softly making his way over to her cautiously. Paul had noted that ever since Jacob had been hanging out with the leeches that Leah didn't talk anymore, she didn't patrol and she didn't even react when he would say something to her on the street as they passed each other.

"Go away" She muttered, never looking up.

"Leah, Rach sent me to check on you. Your mother has been going out her mind and so has Rachel. She wants to see you. Is that okay?" He said softly, not really quite sure why he was here, cept for the fact Rachel was driving him crazy asking if he could please go check on Leah. Paul gave in.

"No" Leah hissed violently at him, taking him back a few spaces.

Paul ran a hand threw his shaggy hair. "Leah you can't just, you know, sit around here at home, or whatever-" Paul stopped. He didn't know how to approach the situation. He cursed himself for not bring Rachel with him. She was always much more diplomatic than he was.

"Go Away" Leah muttered again, pulling up her knees slightly.

That's when Paul saw it. The glass. There was glass embedded deep in Leah's knees. He moved forward crouching down next to her to find she had been lying a top a vase that had been shattered.

"For fuck sake Leah" He sighed trying to move the girl wolf away from the glass. It was smashed in to her knees and there was dried blood running down her legs.

"Don't touch me, I can't move, not yet, not yet" She shrieked, trying to push Paul away from her and curl back in to a ball.

Paul was vivid. Why did she always have to be so fucking stubborn.

"And why can't you move Leah? How fucking long have you been on the floor? What is wrong with you?" He screamed at her.

She didn't flinch once from his voice, nor look at him. She just stared off into the distance and whispered.

"I am waiting"

"Waiting for what? To die, to become a messed up shell?" He yelled again almost shaking the house down.

"I am waiting for Jacob" She said softly with tears gracing her cheeks.

Paul was utterly speechless. He had never seen Leah cry and now he really wished he had brought Rachel with him. Girl stuff was foreign to Paul and he didn't like it one bit. Leah had been a bitch ever since Sam had left her for Emily but now looking at her, all the felt was pity.

Paul had seen how Leah and Jacob would look at each other when they were still one pack. Hell, all the guys had looked at Leah, but it was like Jacob actually saw her. Not just for her rocking body and beautiful face. But Jacob saw something deeper. Below the skin.

Paul hadn't realised that anything had actually been happening between the other packs Alpha and Beta until now. He mentally added that he would punch Jacob Black in the face at the next barbeque. Just because Paul never like Leah, doesn't mean she didn't mean anything to him. She was a pack mate, a wolf and more importantly his sister, just not in the paternal sense.

The little selfish prick had used Leah and now she was more of a mess than when Sam had left.

"Leah just let me move you away from the glass" He said bleakly, trying to lift her legs and brush away the glass.

"What glass" She replied still staring at the wall.

Paul ran his hands through his hair and wanted to rip it out. How could she have not known she had been lying in glass.

"Come on" He said softly moving his hands around her waist to pull her up. He pulled her, until he felt her midsection. He gasped and moved his hands, recoiling them back to his sides.

"Leah, your- your, your fucking pregnant?" Paul said looking at her stomach. He could see much as the baggy jumper covered her body. He lifted it slowly to relieve a belly that looked like she was ready to pop. He figure maybe she was 8 months or so.

"Holy Shit!" Was all he muttered. "I am calling Rachel"

Before he could get up and make his way to the phone, Leah grabbed his forearm and stopped him in his tracks. He turned back to her and her eyes made him cringe. They looked worn out. Dead.

"Don't Paul, don't call her" She cried out softly.

Paul just knelt down further, and stroked her hair. It always helped Rachel so he thought it might help Leah. "Leah, Rach is your friend. She can help you or whatever. Does anybody know?"

"I don't want anyone to know. The only person that matters knows, but doesn't care. Why should anyone else care? I am worthless. A bitter bitch, an unloved whore remember?"

Paul flinched at her words. He had remembered calling her that when they were one pack. He didn't realise she would still be holding on it those words. He was angry at the time and knew they would hurt her, but still he shouted them at her.

"Jacob knows?" He asked, with eyebrows raised.

"Yes" She breathed out. "But he doesn't care, no one does. I just want to die Paul, can you help me? Can you rip me to shreds and just tell them you found me in the forest and that it was a wild animal? Can you? Please Paul I beg you-" She started to cry, looking up at him with her wet lashes, her grip tightening on his forearm.

"WHAT! How could you ask me to-" He started before being cut off by her.

"Please Paul, please, I beg of you. If not could you take me to the beach and hold me under the water? Run a bath and drop an electric appliance in after me? What about snapping my neck? That would be easiest… Then you could say I fell down the stairs" She begged tugging on to his arm.

He shrugged out of her grasp and stood shaking. How dare she want to kill herself? And better yet she wanted him to do it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Leah? You can't just ask me to do those things" He screamed at her as she sobbed, bringing her hands to her face and crying into them.

She pulled her hands away from her face and glared at him "Why to fuck not? You hate me! You have always hated me! Now here is your chance to get rid of me! KILL ME Paul! Make the pain stop!"

Paul just shook his head in disbelief. "No Leah. No!" He said firmly between clenched teeth. "I don't hate you Leah, your just a real pain in the ass like right now" He sighed.

Paul picked Leah up under the arm pits and placed her on the couch. He brushed her clothes off and used a broom to sweep up the glass from on the floor. He then went to kitchen grabbing a bowl, filling it with hot water, and grapping a rag.

He came back into the lounge room and knee in front of her. He slowly pulled the broken pieces of glass out of her skin. Leah didn't wince once. She just sat on the couch staring of into space. Paul sighed as he washed her legs with the warm rag, removing the dried blood.

"How long have you been on the floor?" He asked her softly, noticing some on the glass had practically been grown over by new skin.

Leah just shrugged her shoulders and though a moment.

"I think after since after the last bonfire. Seth came by and invited me down to first beach, I told him no and he left" She said calmly.

Paul couldn't believe what he just heard. The bonfire had been over 2 weeks ago. Leah had been lying on the dirty floor for over 2 weeks with blood running from her knees, waiting for Jacob to come to the house.

Paul started shaking thinking about his future brother in law, and how he had treated Leah. She was here now waiting for the traitor, with his child inside her body and he wasn't even giving her the time of the day.

"Leah why are you waiting for Jacob?"

Leah let out a sob, that almost brought tears to Pauls eyes "Because he is coming back. He said he would always come back to me Paul. He promised. So I am waiting!" She said tears running down her face, with her bottom lip trembling.

"He used to wait for me Paul. He used to wait here on this couch till I came back from patrol and he would stay with me. And now- Now I have nothing"

* * *

_~Flashback~_

Leah and Jacob sat on the couch watching a Saturday night movie special. Seth and Embry where out on patrol and would be back for at least 4 hours.

Leah snuggled into Jacob's side, as he wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged her closer. She buried her face in his chest and breathed in deeply.

"I love this… being here with you Leah" He said inching down and kissing her hair. She hugged him tighter and lent down and kissed his stomach.

"I know… I love it too. I love when we are just here together. It makes everything seems so real" She sighed, not paying an inch of attention to the movie.

He cupped her chin and pulled her face up to his.

"I love you petal" He said smiling at her, making her heart lift. She tried to be tough and rolled her eyes but Jacob saw straight through her, so he pushed further.

"I am going to love you for ever Leah, trust me" He said sweetly, letting his breathe fan over her. Her eye lids fluttered and she craned her neck to kiss his nose.

_~End Flashback~_

* * *

She believed him.

And he lied.

He forgot about her, and he was going to love Renesmee forever.

But Leah couldn't stop herself from loving him.

She clutched at her jumper, at her chest and over her heart. She was taking large gulps of air trying to breath but no matter what she did she couldn't stop.

In a couple of years Jacob would be saying the same things to the spawn.

Leah didn't feel when Paul had sat beside her and held her close. She didn't feel when Paul moved her to her room and laid her down on her bed. She didn't realise that Rachel had arrived at the house and helped her into the shower. She didn't realise Rachel stood fully clothed washing Leah's body for the first time in weeks. She didn't notice that she had been redressed and helped back into bed. The only thing she realised was when Rachel hugged her tightly. Leah breathed in Rachel's scent and tears formed. She smelt so much like her brother, just more feminine. It wasn't the same, but it was something.

It calmed Leah enough to finally drift off to sleep. A sleep she hoped she would never wake up from.

Rachel held on to Leah for dear life. Rachel had been to wrapped up in Paul to see what was happening with her once best friend. She couldn't believe Leah and her brother, where having a baby. Rachel felt sick. She wanted to make things right, but she knew she couldn't. Her father was chief, and her brother was Alpha. She had no authority in the family. So she did what she did best. She held Leah while she called out her bothers name in her sleep, she smoothed her hair and patted her back.

Rachel let Leah sleep while she couldn't. During the night Paul had fallen asleep on the chair next to the bed. Rachel had her hand rested over Leah's stomach when she felt the kick. Rachel was so amazed and crawled over to the other side of the bed and watched it carefully. She was the slight movement in Leah's stomach and placed her hands over the movements.

Inside Leah was Rachel's family. Even Leah was family. Rachel knew that no matter what, that this child would be her niece of nephew, no matter how much she wanted Jacob to end up with Leah, she knew all hope was lost. So she would love Leah and the baby, even if her brother couldn't. Tears welled in Rachel's eyes as she pictured the future for the baby. To be fatherless, was not much of a future, but with a family that loved him or her, they would make it through.

Rachel kissed Leah's temple and brushed the hair out of her eyes. Rachel knew that Leah deserved so much more than to be a single mother, to be heart broken and to always be the bad guy.

Rachel spoke softly in Leah's ear. She was talking on behalf of life, fate, karma, her ancestors, the packs, Sam, Harry Clearwater and most of all her brother.

"I am so sorry Leah"

Paul who had woken up when Rach had moved over to the other side of the bed to touch Leah's belly, heard his imprint. His heart lurched from his chest. He felt bad for Leah and for everything he had ever said to her. He imagined that if Rachel had known what he had said, that she may never forgive him. Paul knew how close Rachel and Leah had been before the phasing episodes and felt guilty that he hadn't helped her more.

Paul concluded that life had fucked Leah over bad. And even though he couldn't make it better, he could try and be nicer.

* * *

**AN: Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. The poem titled 'Antigonish' belongs to the great William Hughes Mearns.**

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

_Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!_

_Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door_

* * *

**Part l THREE**

Rachel spent the last 3 weeks of Leah's pregnancy by her side. Rachel had to force Leah to eat and bathe and watched over her like a hawk. Sometimes Rachel would cry clutching on to the sink, staring out on to the back yard watching Leah. Leah sat on the worn out fold up chair, with a blanket around her shoulders staring into the woods. Rachel was in so much pain Paul barely came by. Rachel knew Paul was hurting seeing his imprint sad all the time but Rachel refused to leave Leah's side.

Sue and Charlie had been away on holiday for the last 4 weeks touring around the country looking for a break. Sue had ended up moving in with Charlie just around the time Bella had given birth to her daughter, who was now her brother's imprint.

Seth had imprinted on a nice girl from Seattle and had moved up there to attend school and live with one of his Aunts to be closer to her.

Leah had been left in this house all alone.

The day finally came when Rachel called Paul telling him that the baby was coming. Paul had meet her and Leah at the hospital.

There was no one waiting in the hallway besides Paul. No one else had known and Leah knew nobody else would care.

After giving birth to the child naturally, they took it away and cleaned it up, wrapping it in a white blanket and handing it to Rachel, who was sitting on a couch next to Leah's bed.

Leah had been sleeping for over 4 hours when she finally stirred.

Leah looked over at Rachel who was staring down into the bundled blanket in her hands. Leah could smell the child and she sat up slightly in the bed. Rachel's head shot up and she smiled.

Rachel carefully hoped up from the couch and brought the child over to Leah.

"What is it?" Leah asked from the bed trying not to look at the child.

"It's a boy Lee. A beautiful, healthy baby boy" Rachel whispered as she looked down again at the baby, kissing him gently and stretching out to move him in to Leah's arms. Leah took him tentatively and sighed.

She held the baby and moved the blanket away from his face. And there it was. Leah's eyes met his and she was instantly lost. His orbs where like silk. A silky baby brown that looked back at her with so much love and need. His small head was covered in jet black hair and his had a small button nose. His lips where pink and they formed a small pout, making movements as if he was hungry.

"He has _his_ eyes" Leah whispered as tears ran down her face.

Rachel's face scrunched up before she started sobbing and nodding her head.

"They are my mother's eyes as well" Rachel cried, stroking Leah's hair and kissing her temple.

"He is beautiful Leah. He is so perfect" Rachel said softly touching the small child's cheek. "What do you want to call him?"

Leah shrugged. "I don't know Rach" Leah said as the tears falling for her eyes landed on his cheeks. He wriggled and his hands were unleashed by the blanket and reached up to grasp on to Leah's necklace. He was strong and he pulled on it hard, looking up at his mother.

Rachel spoke "Look how strong he is." She smiled down at the baby, making his hands reach out and try and grab the hair that was falling near his arm.

At this moment Paul entered with a smirk on his face.

"Well let me see the little heir to the throne" He said walking over to the two women. Paul peeked down at the small bundle and smiled widely. His nephew was going to be an awesome wolf, he was already fairly big for a baby and he looked like a small king. He was a true wolf and he was going to be a good man someday. Hopefully he could take care of his mother like his father hadn't been able to.

"Can I hold him?" Paul asked looking at Leah with puppy dog eyes. Leah rolled her own and handed him the baby.

Paul cooed at him and looked over at Rachel who was smiling at them both.

"Can we have one Rach?" Paul asked in a sexy voice. Rachel just giggled and shook her head.

"Maybe later Paul, but not now" She laughed as Pauls face dropped and frowned.

Leah studied the exchange and her heart hurt. Never would her and Jacob be happy like Paul and Rachel where. She would never have a husband that would ask if they could have more children, and more importantly it wouldn't be Jacob asking her. She was hoping that Jacob would be waiting outside the door telling her that he had fought against his imprint and wanted to see his son. But when Leah twisted to peer out the door no one stood there. There were no chocolate eyes standing behind the glass wanting to enter and there was no man that would fight the magic for her.

Rachel picked up the baby naming book and flipped through the pages and shrieked when her eyes landed on a page.

"Leah what about this" She said with excitement dripping from her face. "Ethan Rian Black?"

Leah thought a moment. She had always wanted to name her son after her father, but he wasn't here to see his grandchild. He wasn't here to teach him how to fish, to tell him the stories of their ancestors, to tell him about Taha-Aki and the 3rd wife, to teach him about how to be a good man.

But Leah didn't want the pain of naming a child after her father. She would remember him every time she looked at her son. She wanted a fresh start from pain, and not to be constantly thrown back into the pits of hell that was her pain. She wanted to start a fresh with her son.

"What does it mean Rach?" Leah asked as Paul handed the baby back to her. She kissed his forehead and smelt him. He smelt like love. It smelt like both of them.

Paul slipped an arm around his wife and looked over at the book.

"Ethan means 'strong', Rian like Ryan means 'little king' and well Black because of his father" Rachel said the last part softly, trying not to upset Leah. "But that's only if you want his name to be Black Lee"

Leah nodded and kissed Ethan's fingers as he tried to grab her face.

"Ethan Rian Black" She cooed at him. He replied by squealing and clutching his little blanket. "I like it Rach, it's nice" Leah said smiling at her son's aunt.

There was a few minutes silence with only Ethan's gurgling and loud squeals. He seemed content but Leah noticed the way he looked at Paul. He wanted to be back with Paul. It might have been Pauls scent but Leah wasn't sure. Ethan liked Paul and would tug on his hair and try and suck his nose. He would squeal when Paul would blow raspberries on his belly.

Leah laughed when the boy slapped Paul in the face, obviously by accident and picked him up and kissed his chubby cheeks.

"Oh you really are mamma's boy" She cooed at him still laughing at Paul who was sulking in the corner not believing that Ethan had slapped him upside the head.

A knock at the door had caught Rachel's attention and she slipped over to it. Behind the door stood a man with a giant basket of goodies. There was baby clothes and things lined in the basket with a bunch of balloons strapped to the basket. Rachel signed for the gift and brought it inside the small hospital room.

"It's for you Leah" Rachel smiled as she set the basket down on the couch and grabbed for the note tucked in safely by the handle.

"Who is it from?" Leah asked with one eyebrow raised. Rachel passed Leah the note and took Ethan from his mother.

Leah unfolded the note and her heart dropped. She didn't bother finish reading the note, scrunching it up and throwing it across the room. Leah let out a heart wrenching sob and laid down in the bed and turned over, away from Rachel.

"Leah are you alright?" Paul asked touching her shoulder softly.

She wiped at her face and spoke threw her sobs "Could you take Ethan away, I just need some time please".

Paul frowned at Rachel who looked upset as well. Rachel hugged Ethan and kissed his little forehead.

"Ok Leah" Paul said softly walking over to his wife, wrapping his hand around her waist and leading her and his nephew out the door. But not before Paul bent down to grab the note.

Once outside he opened the note and read it:

_Leah, _

_I am sorry._

_Jacob_

Leah clutched the sheets and held them close to her. She hated that she needed him so bad. She hated that she loved him. She hated that she couldn't move on.

She cried until she fell asleep and dreamed of him.

* * *

_~Flashback~_

Leah slapped Jacob hard across the face. She couldn't believe he had just kissed her. If he thought kissing her would be alright it wasn't. She would not be used as a tool for him to forget Bella Swan.

"How dare you Jacob? Who the fuck do you think you are?" She screamed in his face, her fist shaking with rage.

"Leah – please" He said reaching out to her and pulling her close to his body. Leah wanted to stratch his eyes out, claw at his chest for using her but she couldn't. She wanted Jacob, she wanted him to touch her, to kiss her, to maybe even love her.

As if reading her mind Jacob spoke "I didn't kiss you to get over Bella, Leah. Bella is no longer the keeper to my heart. I have like you for a long time now, I would even dare to say, that I – I – I love you" He whispered into her hair.

Leah looked up into his eyes and her knees buckled. She slumped but Jacob's arms supported her and kept her up. Jacob saw in Leah's eyes the doubt wash threw them. He knew she didn't want a repeat of Sam and he was determined to make her believe.

"I am not him Leah; I am not going to hurt you like Sam did, I promise" He whispered before his lips met hers again.

_~End Flashback~_

* * *

She believed him.

And he lied.

In the end Jacob Black had hurt her more than Samuel Uley or Harry Clearwater ever had.

A couple of days later when Leah and Ethan were picked up by Rachel, they didn't go back to the old Clearwater home. Rachel and Paul had made Leah and Ethan a room in there house. Rachel and Paul knew they didn't have to but they wanted to. They loved Leah and Ethan, and they would watch out for them both. They were family, no matter what.

A few weeks later when Billy was having dinner, Leah accidently walked in with Ethan. She tried to turn around but Billy had already seen the child.

"Leah" He gasped as he slowly rolled over to her. She was shaking as she held her sons head to her shoulder to hide him from Billy. Leah wanted so desperately to run, run from the questions, from the looks and the guilt she was about to receive from Billy.

"Leah? Is the baby yours?" Billy asked softly touching her back. Leah held Ethan harder now but she didn't stop shaking.

"Yeah _he_ is mine" She said in a shaky voice.

"Can I see him" Billy asked softly which made Leah blow out all the air in she was holding in her lungs. Leah turned around slowly and pushed the child out for Billy to take him.

Ethan wriggled and clutched on to Billy's long black hair. He woven his fingers through it and gurgled happily. When Billy held him under the arms to stand him up on his lap, the boy's eyes meet his old, wise ones. Billy couldn't hold back the tears. The baby looked just like his son had when he was a child. His inky hair, his pink lips and those eyes. Those eyes where unmistakable. Billy looked straight into the eyes of his dead wife. Sarah.

Billy sucked in a quick breath and darted his eyes at Leah who stood there looking at her son in his arms.

"What's his name?"

"Ethan Rian" Leah replied timidly.

"Is Rian his last name?" Billy asked.

"No"

"Is he mine?" Billy quizzed looking up at Leah, searching for any lie she was about to tell. He didn't mean it literally if the child was his, but more if he was his kin, his grandchild, his blood.

Tears formed in Leah's eyes before she nodded.

Billy looked back at the little boy in his arms. His small green shirt and black shorts where perfect colours from his light russet skin. His big eyes, searched over the old man and he smiled a toothless smile at the old man. Billy's heart leaped from his chest. The boy knew that somehow the old man was safe and was his blood. He pulled the boy to his chest and hugged him lightly, patting his back.

Billy once again looked up at Leah. "Does your mother know?"

Leah shook her head indicated no. "Are you angry? Do you hate me Billy?" Leah asked in a small voice.

"No, no, child. I could never hate you. Disappointed that you didn't tell me I was a grandfather, yes, but not angry" Billy said sincerely. "Does my son know he is a father?"

"Yes" Leah answered looking away from Billy.

"Has he seen his son?"

"No."

Billy was angry now. Not at Leah but at his son. Just because his son had an imprint didn't mean he should forget about Leah or his son. Jacob had been a good boy until he got himself wrapped up in the Swan girl. Charlie, Billy liked, Bella on the other hand, no.

She was like a walking time bomb. She couldn't make up her mind and hurt his son. She left him broken and just when it seemed like he was moving on with his life she has a demon child and Billy's only son imprints on her. Letting the Swan girl still control his son's life.

"Leah, your dad would be proud of such a handsome grand baby" Billy said smiling at Leah.

"Thanks Billy" She said coming over and hugging Billy with the small child in his arms. Ethan started to suck on Billy's shirt and he chuckled.

"Looks like someone is hungry" Billy laughed, Ethan frustration seeping out as he tried to pull on the shirt.

"Here Billy, let me get you a bottle and you can feed him" Leah chuckled.

She passed him a bottle from the fridge and stared at Ethan and Billy's contact. Ethan didn't like many people, but with Billy he seemed content to let the old man feed him.

Billy looked down at the boy, as he suckled contently and slowly his eyelids began to drop. He tried several times to stay awake but the sleep finally took him. Billy pulled the bottle away and kissed his grandson.

"He's perfect Leah" Billy said as she bent down to retrieve her son.

"I know" Was all she whispered as she left the room to lay him down in his cot, before coming back out.

She sat on the couch and buried her face in her hands "I am sorry Billy. I really should have told you, but I didn't want you to be angry at me. I didn't want you to feel like you had to have a relationship with Ethan, just because you felt guilty."

"Leah Clearwater, you are talking non sense. Your father and I have been friends since we were little tackers. I have known you since the day you were born. Even if you weren't the mother of my biological grandson, any child of you would feel like a grand baby. Harry and I knew, from the moment each of us looked at our children, they would always mean everything to us. I am so sorry Leah and I wished I could say the same for Jacob. He is a good boy and I never thought this would happen, I just wish-"

"It's okay Billy. Really. I love Ethan, and that's all that matters. He is doing okay, he is healthy, he is bright and he loves me. He loves all of us"

"You should really tell your mother Leah, I know she would be thrilled" Leah nodded at Billy's statement. She had avoided her mother ever since she had gotten back with Charlie while she was in the hospital.

Leah sighed and spun the ring that was on her finger and pulled it off. She reached out and placed it in his hand.

"This belongs to you Billy" She said with tears running down her face.

Billy looked at the object in his hand. It was the ring he had given his wife. And most importantly the ring he had given his son, to give to the woman he would marry. Billy looked at Leah with sad eyes. The only reason she would have the ring would be if-

"He proposed to me two weeks before he imprinted. We were going to announce it to our families the afternoon he came back from the Cullen's. But he never came back. I think I have held on to the ring for much too long now, so I am giving it back. It should stay in the family. He should give it to Ren-"

"Leah! Stop it this instant. He will not be giving it to anyone else. He gave it to you and it is yours. You are our family. Sarah would have loved to see Ethan, and she would have wanted you to have it." Billy rolled closer to Leah and grasps her hands slipping the ring back in her palm.

"Leah the ring is yours. If you don't want it as a gift from Jacob, think of it as a gift from Sarah and I, from the wonderful grandson you have given us. You are part of this family Leah and so is Ethan. Make Sarah and Harry proud and raise him right. Raise him to love his mother and his family. Raise him to love and to be happy"

"Thank you Billy"

Leah cried on Billy's shoulder the rest of the afternoon until she fell asleep. Paul came home and found her asleep next to Billy as he patted her back. Both men nodded at each other, each knowing what had gone on without words.

"Here, let me take her" Paul said placing one hand on her back and one under her knees, lifting her off the couch and taking her to her room. When Paul laid her down, her pulled the sheets over her and kissed her forehead.

"Good night our strong Leah" Paul whispered as he closed the door softly.

As Paul walked down the hall he heard Leah as if she was standing right next to him, speaking straight into his ear. His heart hurt for her, knowing that nothing would ever make her life right.

"Goodnight Jake" She muttered in her sleep, before all Paul could hear was her light breathing.

* * *

**AN – Review? **


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. The poem titled 'Antigonish' belongs to the great William Hughes Mearns.**

**Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!**

* * *

_Last night I saw upon the stair_

_A little man who wasn't there_

* * *

**PART l FOUR**

Leah sat on the bed, watching Ethan happily gurgle and coo. She had put him in his little blue cotton shirt with the writing 'I love my Aunty' written in block letters on the front and his tiny black cargo shorts. Leah rolled her eyes looking at him wriggle around in the shirt Rachel had gotten him from Seattle when she and Paul had gone the previous weekend. Leah knew Rachel was smitten with Ethan and loved him like her own. Paul too had surprised her by bonding with the little boy, happily burping him after feeds and even getting up in the middle of the night to tend to him and letting Leah get some much need rest.

Leah knew she had a responsibility now and she needed to get her life back on track. She didn't have _him_, but she had Ethan, and Rach, and Paul, and Billy. Leah had never felt closer to the Black family as she had right now. Her son was a _Black_ and she was proud he would carry on Billy's legacy.

Billy had visited every day for the last week, sitting with his grandson and studying the small boy. Leah knew that Billy was mesmerised by Ethan and the splitting image he was of his father and also due to the fact he was hypnotised by his eyes. They were so bright and loving, just like Sarah's, like his son's, and now his grandson.

It had taken every day of coming over and pestering Leah, for her to finally contact her mother and Seth to invite them over for a lunch at Rachel's house, and to ultimately meet Ethan. Leah had no worries avoiding Seth as he was always tending to his imprint, and well, Sue was harder. She was like a dam hawk. Leah had actually hidden behind some shelving down at the store to avoid her mother earlier in the week. She hadn't been ready then, and truthfully she wasn't ready now. She would have given everything to wake and for all this mess been a dream, but when she looked at her son, _their_ son, she was somewhat grateful, that she had even the smallest time with Jacob.

In reality he had given her everything she could have wanted. He had loved her, he had trusted her, he had confided in her, he had even left Leah with something never in her wildest dreams did she ever imagine she could or would have.

_Ethan_.

Though in the back of Leah's mind, Jacob would always be there. She couldn't let go of him, not just yet. He was still fresh in her mind; she could still feel his handprints on her skin, the heat of his breath, his smell, his aura, his voice, his _everything_.

Leah picked Ethan up under the arm pits and steadied him in front of her, bouncing his feet up and down on the bed as if to imitate walking, playing with the constantly happy baby.

"Hello, mummy's little boy" She said blissfully to him and he smiled his toothless smile at her, reaching out to grab at something. She brought him forward and kissed his chubby cheeks, lingering there for a moment inhaling his scent.

Leah had made sure Ethan slept in the same bed as her. He didn't like to sleep in the cot across the room, and he slept better if he was able to play with her hair. She would sometimes wake up and he would already be awake and touching her face and trying to get to the necklace that hung around her neck.

She touched the necklace around her neck and sighed. Jacob had given her the necklace, which felt like a whole other life ago. Another universe, another dimension, somewhere happier and simpler. She fingered the small pendant and closed her eyes.

~_Flashback_~

Leah furiously unwrapped the little gift. It had been a long time since she had received a gift from someone other than one of her family members for her birthday.

"Calm down babe, it's not going anywhere!" Jacob laughed as he kissed her forehead.

Leah blushed at his remarks. He was right the small package wasn't going anywhere, but still that didn't make the utter excitement die down, of wanting to know what was inside.

As soon as all the paper had been torn off, Leah thumbed the small box in her palm. Her fingers were trembling as they touched the blue silk of the box. She looked up at Jacob and he smiled, nodding his head at her, edging her to proceed.

"What is it?" Leah asked moving into Jacob's lap on the couch. He wrapped his long, strong arms around her waist and pulled her closer, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Open it and find out" He whispered, kissing the bare flesh under her ear on her neck, while his hands slipped under her shirt, running his warm fingers back and forth across her flat stomach, stroking the smooth skin there.

Leah clutched the box and snapped it open. Her eyes widened at the gift sitting inside. A small sliver necklace sat in the box, with a small pendant, dangling from it. She pulled the necklace out and studied the pendant in her hand. It was a small sliver key with the words 'Forever' engraved in it. Jacob spoke, as he saw the confusion of Leah's face.

"Leah, it's the key to my heart. And since you have stolen my heart, I have given you the key. Forever" He whispered into the crook of her neck.

Leah smiled looking down at the key, she was glad to have Jacob's heart. Jacob didn't need a key to hers. He had stolen it, every single day they had been together. He had stolen it, with one look, one word, one touch, one kiss. Her heart would always be his, no matter what.

"Thank you Jake" She said kissing his full lips. She savoured the sweet taste of his mouth, creating a spark within both their insides.

As Jacob pulled away, he kissed her nose, her eyelids, the corner of her mouth, then grabbing the necklace from her, and clasping it around her neck, kissing the back of her neck and sighing.

"Did you notice the extra links on the chain" Jacob asked leaning in to re kiss her neck, holding her hips snuggly.

"Yeah, I did. What's it for?"

"The extra clips are to add more charms. The lady at the store told me that every time something happens in our lives, I have to get you a new link. There's one for love, one for marriage, and one for...well-"

"One for what?" Leah asked turning around in his lap, and throwing her arms around his strong shoulders and neck, to stare into those brown eyes.

"One for…for every child, we have" He said smiling down at the woman in his arms.

Leah's face dropped immediately and her eyes shot downcast. "Jake you know I can't, well we think I can't-" Jacob hushed her, before the tears started to fall. They both knew there was a possibility that she would never be able to have children, due to the wolf inside her, but that didn't stop Jacob from hoping.

"Leah, we are going to have children and we will love them. I'll be there for every birthday, for every milestone, for every boo boo, for every tear, for every laugh, for every first day at school, for every sick day. I'll be there to scare away my daughters prom date, I'll be there for my sons first football game, for their graduation. I'll be there. I'll be _here_. Together" He said intertwining their hands and cupping his free hand to her chin. "I love you Lee, and I love our children already."

_~End Flashback~_

Leah perked up at the sound of a car pulling up in the drive way. She picked Ethan up, kissed his little face and pulled him up to her shoulder and patted him lightly on the back. She slowly made her way down the stairs to be greeted with Rachel ushering in both Sue and Seth through the door. Her steps down the stairs faltered a bit and the sound was instantly picked up by Seth's shape shifter ears.

"Sis, hey come on, get down here, I haven't seen you for-" Seth's eyes widened at the little boy in Leah's arms. He noticed the boys pitch black hair and russet coloured skin.

Sue had been happily talking to Rachel about the trip she had taken with Charlie, when she heard Seth call out to Leah, only to stop mid-sentence. Sue walked into the house and stood beside Seth, looking for Leah. When Sue's eyes followed up the steps to where Leah was standing, she too stopped, and watched the baby in Leah's arms.

Sue gasped and raised her hands over her mouth looking up at her daughter. "Lee…Leah? What is this?"

Leah took several calculated steps and turned the boy around to face her mother and brother. "Mum, Seth, this is Ethan, my son!"

Ethan happily gurgled and reached out to the two people in front of him, twiddling his fingers. Sue stepped forward and looked over the boy. Sue knew those eyes. She knew them well. They had belonged to her dear friend Sarah Black, they had belonged to her son, and now they belonged to her grandson. Sue slowly reached out for the boy and he smiled toothlessly at her, reaching as well for the small woman.

"Oh Leah, oh my god… I – I, he's perfect!" She sighed, placing her hands under his arms and scoping him out of her daughters hold. Sue hugged him and kissed his rosy cheeks, savouring her grandson.

Seth stood open mouthed staring between his sister and his…nephew? Seth immediately felt bad. How his sister could have had a baby and he knew nothing about it? Was he that selfish to let his imprint take over his mind, not fleeting a care in the world for his sister. He had left her and gone off to Seattle. He hadn't bothered calling because he thought that if something was to happen she would at least call him, or their Alpha would tell him. Had he been too wrapped up in his own relationship with his imprint to not even care what happened to her?

"Sis…_what_ the hell? _When_ the hell? What the-" Seth stuttered trying to get the words out, before he swallowed them. "You have a lot of explaining to do Leah" Seth said sternly, trying to sound mature and sure of himself.

"I know" Leah said moving down off the stairs and embracing her brother. "I miss you Seth" She sighed into his warm shoulder. Seth patted her back and stared at the boy in his mother's arms over his sister's shoulder. "I miss you too Lee" Seth knew he wasn't lying per say, it was just that he already missed his imprint more than his own sister. He felt like his heart was breaking because Leah could hear the uncertainty in his voice. His sister had been alone for so long, after she had been his everything. His rock, his friend, his protector, his confidant. She had been there more times, than he could poke a stick at, but in her time of need, he was nowhere to be found.

Billy rolled out into the hallway with a smile on his face. "Now that you have met _our_ grandson Sue, let's move into the dining room for some lunch"

Seth pushed his sister away and held her shoulders, studying her face, looking for the truth on the words billy had just spoken. "Jacob's...?"

Leah looked down and nodded. The full impact hit Seth and made his head spin. His sister…had a child with _their_ Alpha? _Their_ imprinted Alpha? The same Alpha that had imprinted on a girl he used to loves daughter?

Seth pulled his sister back in for the hug and felt her trembling against him. He could hear her heavy breathing and the small sobs that escaped her mouth. "Oh Leah, I am so sorry" He said into her hair, kissing her head. Seth at the same time felt a twinge in his heart. Even though this was his sister, he felt the imprint pulling him back from making any kind of physical connection with her. It wasn't like he wanted to do anything remotely sexual with her, he just wanted to comfort her and love her like a brother should. But the imprint had different plans; he sighed and pulled away from her, leaving her standing in the middle of the hall, with her arms wrapped around herself.

"I am sorry Leah, I can't…um… hold you for too long, it... ah... it hurts me" Seth said looking at his sister with pain in his eyes. He wanted so much to hug her and stay by her side, tell her that everything was going to be okay. But he knew better. He knew that she would know he was lying. She didn't need to be lied to.

Leah nodded dejectedly as Rachel came up to her and engulfed her in a hug and did all the things Seth couldn't. "It's okay Lee" She cooed stroking her long wavy hair. "It's going to be okay, we will always be here for you. Me and Paul, Billy and Sue, we will always be here for you" Rachel's eyes gave Seth a pity glance. She had left his name out for a reason. She knew Seth would never be there for his sister, the way she wanted him to be. Rachel knew what the imprint felt like, the pull, the link, the chain mesh surrounding two souls. But her and Paul where different. They could still function without each other for a while; they could still comfort others, though Paul left it up to Rachel more often than not. Half the reason might half been that both Rachel and Paul fell in love with Ethan the moment they laid eyes on the little boy.

"Come on Lee, let's eat. I am sure your mother has many questions" Rachel said taking her friends hand and leading her into the next room.

After a long lunch, Leah and Sue decided to take a walk, strapping Ethan into his pram and taking the trail through the woods. Sue explained that she used to take walks with Leah when she was just a baby. Sue said that Leah had always been an adventurous baby and that she would be in awe, taking in the surroundings and trying to reach out and touch all the leaves and branches, watching the small animals scurry around the woods.

"Leah, can I ask you something?" Sue said pushing the pram, eyeing of her daughter who hadn't said very much during lunch.

"Sure, fire away!" Leah said with a small frown.

"Has Jacob seen him? Does he… um… know he has a son?" Sue said cautiously, well aware that her daughter was a shape shifter and could easily be overcome by anger.

Leah breathed a long hard breath before speaking. "Yeah he knows, he just doesn't seem to care enough to see him. He is too wrapped up in the leeches kid, to see his own" She said bitterly.

"Oh Leah, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? I could have been there for you; I could have stayed with you instead of going on the trip with Charlie"

"As much as I would have like that mum, you have a life too. And you need to get on with your own things. Charlie makes you happy, and you needed that after dad. I didn't want to waste your time"

"LEAH! You would not have been wasting my time!" Sue scolded.

"I know mum, it's just I didn't need you, I needed… I needed _him_" Leah said as the first tear fell.

Sue stopped the pram and pulled Leah in for a hug. "Shhh…baby. I know, I know! It's okay Leah, you'll move on, get better, maybe you'll even find your own Charlie." Sue smiled at her daughter, hoping for the best.

* * *

Rachel sent Paul off with a kiss, to take her father home while she cleaned up the table and dishes from the afternoon's luncheon. As she scrubbed the roasting tin, she heard a soft knock at the door. Rachel washed her hands of the remaining soap, wiping her hands on a tea towel, and headed for the door.

She smiled as she opened it wide before realising who was standing there. Her face dropped immediately and turned into a scowl.

"What are you doing here?" She asked the large man at the door, who was currently craning his neck over her to peek into the house. She closed the door slightly, blocking his view, and pushed again. "I said 'What the fuck are you doing here?'"

"Rach, what the hell, I was just coming by to see how you are?" He said with a pitiful smile.

Not ever did she think she could hate the man that stood in front of her. He had grown up with her, they had been close, like best friends. But there connection ran much deeper than that. He was her blood, her brother and the father of her beautiful nephew.

"What do you want Jacob?" She said moving out on to the porch, closing the door and crossing her arms in front of her.

"I – ah – I just wanted to know how you're doing? Everything alright? _Everyone_ all right?" He asked lowering his eyes to the floor.

"If you're talking about, what I think you're talking about, then no. Everything is not alright" She hissed violently at him.

Jake brushed the action off and looked up at his sister with pain in his eyes. "Have you seen _it_?" He asked cautiously.

"_It_? It? It is a boy Jacob. A little beautiful boy. He is funny, loving, caring and happy" She glared at him.

"What's _his_ name?" Jacob asked as he thought about the little boy. His eyes lit up, and sparkled with a sense of pride knowing he had a son.

"You really think you deserve to know? You haven't even seen him for fucks sake. His is _your_ son Jacob, and I see him more than you do! Paul spends more time with Ethan than his own father does" She all but screamed at him.

Jake felt the tinge in his heart for the son he was still yet to hold. He had really thought that everything would be alright. Jacob had been happy, in love and had a child on the way. He never in his whole life expected to find someone like Leah and he thought she was always something he could never have.

And he was right.

Imprinting took her away. But more retrospectively, Imprinting took _him_ away. It took his love away, his life, his _son_, his soon to be wife. It took him away and gave him to a woman, _no_ a girl, a child, that knew nothing about real love, nothing about hardship, nothing about heart break. The universe had tied him, to his first mistake. Loving the mortal Bella Swan. She had broken him, Leah had fixed him, and now his love for Leah lay towards the daughter of a girl that had broken him.

It hadn't been fair on either of them. Jacob had made so many promises to Leah, and the universe made sure he would never _ever_ let those promises become a reality.

"Ethan-" Jacob breathed as he thought about the little boy. Did he look like him? Like Leah? What did he do when he was happy? Did he smile? Did he laugh? What about when he was sad? Did he-

"You need to leave" Rachel said coldly to her only brother. "You need to leave before Leah comes home"

"Leah lives here? With you and Paul?" Jacob quizzed unsure of why Leah would be caught dead anywhere near Paul, let alone _live_ in the same house as him.

"Not that it is any of your bees wax, but yes, she does! Now run along back to your blood suckers" Rachel said turning towards the door.

Jacob caught her upper arm and spun her back around to face him. "You think this doesn't hurt me? You think I wanted this Rach? You think I wanted to stay away? We were going to get married-"

Rachel gasped and threw her hands over her mouth. Leah hadn't told her that they had planned to get married. She didn't realise that Leah had gone through exactly what Sam had done to her. Again.

"I can't fix this Rachel, I just can't! I never wanted to leave Rach, you have to believe me" He sighed, releasing his grip on her arm and running a hand through his messy hair.

Rachel couldn't help but to pity her brother. She had never seen him so distraught and afraid. He was supposed to be chief, Alpha, _the_ Alpha. But all he looked like was a scared little boy.

Rachel sighed "He looks like you Jake. He has mum's eyes, your eyes. He is so beautiful Jacob, I think you would have loved him" She said as a tear escaped her eye.

"Would have? I do love him, I do!" He cried out in frustration pulling the ends of his short cropped hair. "I just – I"

Rachel placed a hand to her brothers shoulder carefully "I understand Jacob, you love _him_, but you love your imprint more."

Jake shook his head and tried to get rid of the tears forming in his long lashes. "I didn't mean for this to happen Rachel. I didn't want this, I wanted Leah. I did!" He said sadly as he wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.

Rachel tried to console him some more, by talking about Ethan. "Dad loves him, and comes over almost every day to give Leah a break. While I am at work, Dad is here, and then when he goes home it's either me or Paul. He his strong Jacob, like his mother, like his ancestors. He laughs when you tickle his belly, he likes playing with Leah's hair and he loves slapping Paul in the head." Rachel smiled thinking back on all the times Ethan accidentally hit Paul. "He is healthy, his is always hungry and he loves pear and apple puree." Her voice dropped low as she tried to hold back a sob "Dad tells him stories all the time. About Mum, and about you. Dad says he looks exactly like you did when you were little. He tells him that Mum would have loved to see him, and that she would be so proud of you and Leah." And with that Rachel dropped her hand and stepped away from Jacob.

Jacob's heart was heavy with pain, with sorrow. Guilt washed through his veins as he tried to push words out of his mouth. He swallowed hard and looked up at his sister, who was now backing away from him.

"I am sorry Jacob. I want to feel anything towards you but hostility but I can't. Ethan needs _us_, he needs his family. Leah needs us too. If she knew that you were here, I would never see my nephew again. I can't let that happen Jake. I love him, and I don't _want_ her to leave. Please understand that you're my brother, my blood, but doing what you did, making the choices you did, you're as good as dead to me" Rachel opened the door, not waiting for a reply and shut it in Jacobs face.

Jacob stood there unable to move his feet. He was stuck in place by her words.

'_You're as good as dead'_

And she was right. Jacob knew that. He was good as dead. He had lost everything he had held dear to him and there was not a god damn thing he could do about it.

He sighed and set the small package down on the porch and walked towards the woods to phase and run back to the Cullen's. He knew he shouldn't have left it there, just like the package he had sent to the hospital. He knew he would only be hurting Leah, but he wanted her to understand, that even though he couldn't be with her, that he never forgot all the promises he gave her. It would have only been a small token, but it was the only token her could give her now.

It had felt wrong on every account, but he had to give _her_ this one thing.

* * *

Leah felt refreshed after going on the long walk with her mother, and after she bit her a due, by helping her into her car, she sat on the porch steps and rocked little Ethan in her arms. Seth had long left to go back to his imprint and Leah knew Rachel would be inside carrying out some kind of chore. Leah hummed an old Quileute lullaby to her son, as he happily played with the length of her hair. As the sun set, she gathered his things and headed into the house to feed him and put him down for the night.

Leah didn't notice the small white package sitting on the front mat as she opened the door and went into the house.

If she would have, she would have found a small box containing a charm. A charm of a little carriage engraved with a simple word from a man that had her beating heart in his hands, a man that had once loved her beyond all reasonable doubt, just because she was her and he was him.

She would have run her hands over the chiselled metal and remembered all the times they had and even worse, that they _could_ have had. Those words, no matter how small, would haunt Leah for the rest of her life.

Because how can you have a '_forever'_ when everything was gone?

* * *

**AN – Okay I am a baby and I cried while writing this! I also want to say thank you to all those that have reviewed, and that I love that your optimistic about this story! But *sighs* I don't think you will find any redemption here my loves. **

**Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. The poem titled 'Antigonish' belongs to the great William Hughes Mearns.**

**

* * *

**

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

_He wasn't there again today_

_Oh, how I wish he'd go away_

_

* * *

_

**PART l FIVE**

Leah laid Ethan carefully down in the queen size bed with one hand under his head and one on his nappy. He wiggled and squirmed about before he stilled and let out a couple of small whimpers. Leah tucked a piece of his dark hair back behind his ear, leaning down to kiss his little forehead. Her lips lingered a while as she sat back down on the bed watching him. His beautiful green pyjama set looked so cute against his russet skin and his small feet and hands where so tempting and Leah had to control herself otherwise she would just kiss his little toes and fingers and probably wake him up.

She smiled placing large pillows around him, making a fortress to keep him in the middle of the bed, so he didn't roll and fall off it. She would join him shortly but first she had to go down stairs and speak to Rachel about the trip they were taking in a few weeks. They were going to go up to Canada so little Ethan could see his first drop of snow. It was cold as hell in LaPush but unfortunately it never snowed. Leah kissed his cheek once more before she placed his clear dummy in his mouth and turned his 'Winnie the Pooh' night light on. Leah closed the door softly and walked into the bathroom with her clothes in hand.

She ran a nice hot bath and sat on the edge of it as she tipped the paw-paw and lychee shower gel in the running water, watching the bubbles start to form. She ran her hand in the water, moving the suds gently along the top of it. She'd always loved hot baths; they had always relaxed her and made her feel like all the worries in the world were washed away. But Leah knew there were some troubles that did not float out of you mind from one simple act. There were some worries that lingered in your heart long after they happened.

Leah undressed quickly and stepped into the bath, letting the water engulf her all the way up to her chin. She poked her toe up and out of the water and used it to turn the hot water on and off as she deemed fit. She let herself sink under the water and came back up running her hands through her hair. She always loved the feeling of her _his_ hands running through her hair. He had such large, warm, caring hands and they once belonged to her. But no longer.

Leah rested her head back on the white ceramic of the bath and closed her eyes. Before long she heard a knock at the door. She quickly grabbed a face cloth to at least spare her some dignity and held it to her chest.

"Yes?" Leah called out timidly.

"It's just me Lee" Rachel called out inching her head in, only peeping through on eye. "Oh good, you have lots of bubbles." Rachel smiled opening her eyes and slipping through the door with two glasses, a little white box and a bottle of red wine.

Leah smiled at Rachel's warm gesture. Sure she would need about 10 litres of the stuff to actually feel drunk but that wasn't the point. The point was 'girl time'.

After a few glasses Rachel was sitting Indian style next to the cabinet and Leah was propped up against the bath with the arms around her knees sipping the wine from a sparkling glass. Rachel was just about killing herself with laughter as they reminisced about the stories from high school.

"Oh my god- Do you remember when we walked in on Rebecca going at it with Benny Johnson from Forks and he actually screamed so loud Becca couldn't hear for the next few weeks?" Rachel laughed clutching her chest and taking a sip of her wine before she choked.

"Yeah. I miss her. She was always so mischievous." Leah smiled as she held her knees a little tighter. After a few moments of silence Rachel picked up the small white box in between her legs and rolled it around in her hand.

"What's that?" Leah asked with a cocked eyebrow watching Rachel watch the box.

"It's for you, but I don't know if I want to give it to you" Rachel said placing the now empty wine glass down on the floor.

"Oh-" Leah said realising who it was probably from.

"I don't want to keep secrets from you Leah, but I want you to know that I don't want you to leave. I love you, I love Ethan, both Paul and I do. But I want to tell you something and you can't get angry with me, okay?" She said looking at Leah who was shivering in the bath. Rachel got to her feet and walked to the door. "Meet me in outside in 5" she said closing the door softly.

Leah got out of the bath and dried her hair and body. She slipped on a pair of red sweat pants and a black cotton tee. She twisted her hair into a bun and dropped the towel in the hamper. She quickly checked on Ethan who was still sleeping but couldn't help but to kiss his little hand as she left.

Leah walked to the kitchen placing the glasses in the sink and stopped at the back door, slipping on her cream Ugg boots and walked out the door. She saw Rachel sitting in the deck chair basking in front of a small fire she had lit, its border cornered off with grey rocks keeping the fire contained. Leah slumped into the chair next to Rachel and sighed looking up at the clear sky. She could see each constellation lit brightly in the dark sheet of night and smiled thinking about how Jacob would point out the different star signs in them.

"Lee" Rachel asked burrowing her brows. "Jacob came by this afternoon while you were out with Sue and left this" Leah breath caught as she looked at Rachel with wide eyes. "Lee, I want you to know that you deserve more than Jacob can give you. I know you hate the concept of imprinting and so do I. Of course I am grateful to have Paul, but sometimes I just feel like he was forced to love me and if he got to choose- well- let's just say I wouldn't be sitting here with you. I know that my brother is a good guy, but what he did to you, to Ethan it kills me." Rachel said with tears streaming down her face, noticing Leah too had the same tears.

Leah got up out of the chair and made Rachel scoot over until they were both nestled in the same deck chair. "Paul loves you Rach. Nothing will change that. Paul is a good man, when he wants to be and even though me and him don't always see eye to eye, I know that he loves you very much" Leah said stroking her long shiny black hair.

Rachel handed Leah the small package and Leah slipped it in her pocket. She wanted to open it in private.

"I didn't know you two were going to get married" Rachel said through her sobs "I'm so sorry".

Leah's heart lurched and her throat felt dry. There was so much she needed to tell Jacob so much she needed to say. She needed him so much it hurt her very being just to breathe. "It's okay Rach; it's not your fault. I guess, we- we never stood a chance really. But I want you to know that the time I spent with Jake, was the best time of my life. I know he is your brother and it may sound weird but everything he did for me, everything we did together, was like nothing I have ever experienced before. To tell you the truth sometimes it even feels like I imprinted on him. I miss him Rach and I don't think my heart is ever going to stop wanting him. Even in 30 years, if he comes back to me, I will want him. No matter what I do, I can't hate him. He gave me Ethan and for that I owe him everything" Leah spoke softly and gently holding on to her friend as they both cried into the night.

"Leah what was that mark on your arm I saw in the bath?" Rach asked staring up at the sky.

"Oh you mean the tattoo." Leah asked pointing to the inside of her upper arm. "It's an old Quileute symbol. When me and Jacob planned to get married we had them done. Nobody knows about the mark because it hasn't been used since the last pack" Rachel shifted to sit up a bit higher listening intently. "When Taha Aki picked the third wife, they both marked their skin with the symbol to unify the true mateship between the two. In the tribe it is as good as having a wedding ceremony, so really forgetting the pale face laws, technically we _are_ married." Leah said twiddling her thumbs in her clasped hands.

"I never heard of that story before. Dad never told us that one" Rach answered amazed.

Leah shook her head. "Billy knows he just probably hasn't been reminded since he was a little boy."

"So how did you find out about it?"

"Well Jacob started to take his role very seriously. He knew he would be chief one day and he made sure to read up on all the legends. He may have been absolutely shitty at maths but Quileute legends, _he_ was the king. I think even Billy might have learnt a little something off of him." Both the girls chuckled, imagining Jacob sitting around the fire place telling stories while Billy listened in amazed.

"So you're like my sister in law after all?" Rach smirked.

Leah rolled her eyes and nodded. "I guess."

"Leah Black. I like the sound of that." Leah elbowed Rach as she giggled at her sister's new name. "Dad is going to be so happy about that"

Rachel laid back and placed her hands behind her head. "Paul's cousin Logan is coming with us to Canada for the trip, maybe you guys could-" Rachel was cut off by a cold stare from Leah. "What!" Rachel exclaimed "I am just saying, it might be nice for you to get out of the routine your stuck in, you know, have a break, away from Ethan"

"Rach, I really don't need at date right now, plus I _don't _date" Leah said pouting like a 4 year old.

"Oh come on Lees, just one teeny weeny date. Please. Your both going to be in Canada anyway. Romantic snowy mountains, open fire places-" Rachel said with dreamy eyes.

"No" Leah said crossing her arms on her chest.

"Well too bad because he is going to fall in love with you the moment he lays eyes on you. You may be able to hide behind that fringe of yours from me, but you can't hide behind it from a hot blooded man." Rachel winked.

"Rach seriously" Leah huffed. "I doubt he would want to be tied down to me and a baby"

"You don't know Logan, Leah. He is very sweet, nice, and sexy and has an _amazing_ body. Uggh but you should check out his lips, there so juicy looking" Rachel giggled making kissy faces at Leah.

Leah pushed her face away with a laugh. "Are you even allowed to think like that Rachel? Don't you _have _a man?"

"I can dream right?" Rachel smirked lying back against the wood of the deck chair. "Ethan is going to be a lady killer when he is older Lee. You're going to have to beat girls off of him." She chuckled.

"I turn into a wolf remember. Not to mention that Wolverine aint got shit on me" Leah said smugly.

"True" Rachel supposed back. "So about the date…"

Leah glared at Rachel who glared right back. "If you don't, I am _never_ making Pecan Pie again!"

"That's unfair, you can't bribe me."

"Can too"

"Fine. For the love of god, FINE!" Leah shouted with her hands in the air.

"Good." Rachel said smugly getting up of the chair. "Now let's go back inside before Ethan wakes up and finds out that Logan is going to take his mummy on a date"

"Shut up Rach. Whatever you do, don't you dare tell Paul about this, I will never live it down. Imagine _me _going on a date with a _Meraz_." Leah said stalking up to the porch steps.

"Paul? He is the one who came up with the idea" Rachel laughed as she locked the door.

"I am going to kill him" Leah grumbled as she stomped up the stairs, though halfway slowed her walk as not to wake the sleeping boy.

Leah opened the bedroom door after whispering good night to Rachel and slipped in. She kicked her Ugg boots off to the side and slid into bed, softly moving the pillows. The night light gave off enough light for Leah to see the gentle movements off Ethan's breathing as his chest moved up and down. She smiled wider when she saw his little head turn towards her and he opened his sleepy eyes and smiled beneath his dummy. She leaned forward kissing his cheeks and rolled him over a little, patting his back softly. His eyes fluttered and he slowly drifted back asleep.

Leah nuzzled her cheek next to him and soon followed suit.

* * *

AN- Okay so this is the drill people. As you can see the poem is now finished but the story is not. I originally only planned for this story to only have five chapters. But now, now there is so much happening and my mind is spinning because of FantasyLover74, that I have decided on continuing on with the story and making it EPIC! Like super Epic! Lol.

As we all know the story line to most stories change constantly *glares at self in the mirror* and hopefully I can keep you all interested instead of boring the shit out of you with just angst. I will say this though, this story will most likely be bumped to a M rating, because of - well - because it will. *winks* But that will be a little later on. Leah still has a lot of shit to sort out and there is still a _lot _of hidden information in the story that is _yet _to be revealed.

Now Review all you lovelies and feed my insatiable need for messages in my inbox when I wake up in the morning! Oh and Kei... who needs Heaven, when you can have Jacob Black and all the WILF's at once *blushes* My GAWD! Take me there!

Loves!

P.S - Isn't Ethan just the cutest! Ugh... I just want to pinch those flipping cheeks. *coos at the mini Alpha* A-dor-a-ble!


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. Baby Black is mine, and I only wish Logan was mine too…**

**

* * *

**

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

**PART I SIX**

Leah was darting around the room in an almost panicked state while Rachel was lying on the bed blowing strawberries on a giggling Ethan's belly.

"Rach, could you please stop messing around and get Ethan ready already" Leah asked fully exasperated from pacing the room making sure she had packed absolutely everything for the trip. Nappies, dummies, warm clothes, shoes, socks, wipes. Check. Leah stood in front of the full length mirror and straightened her clothing down, making sure she didn't look like the absolute train wreck she felt like.

Rachel giggled as she watched Leah studying herself in the mirror. She could tell Leah was nervous as hell. The last couple of weeks had been highly amusing. Paul had told Leah some things about Logan that almost made her blush. Logan had moved to California with his family when he was younger and was coming down to the Rez to get to know his little cousin, Paul, again. They hadn't seen each other since Paul was 13 and Logan was 16. Logan had a promising future in baseball and had signed with the California Cougars when he was 22. He had been playing in the major leagues for about 4 years now but last month blew out his knee and he was ordered to rest and have an early season break. Paul had been told Logan's operation of his knee ligaments had gone well, and that he would only need another 2 months until he was completely fit and able to go to practice again, to train for next year's season. Rachel had shown Leah a photo of a 16 year old Logan to which she just shrugged and said he was cute, maybe even cuter than Sam had been at that age.

"Come on smiley" Rachel said picking Ethan up off the bed and holding him to her shoulder to look for some clothes for the long drive. She smirked at Leah who was still looking at herself in the mirror. "Green suits mummy doesn't it Ethan?" She cooed at the little boy who was gripping her sleeve.

"Thanks Rach. But are you sure, maybe I should wear the blue?" Leah asked holding up the blue sweater by the coat hanger and pressing it to her body. Rachel replied with a soft chuckle and shook her head. "Stay with the green Leah. It looks really lovely" Rachel kissed the top of Ethan's head and pulled open the door and headed down the hallway.

Paul was busily taking the bags out on to the porch in arrival for Logan. Paul was on edge and every time he sat for too long it felt like he was going to explode. The only reason that he was taking both Rachel and Leah away from LaPush was because in a couple of days, at the first sign of winter the Voulturi would be arriving. Sam, Jared and Quil had already rushed their imprints off to the Makah reservation in an attempt to keep them safe. Paul had to restrain himself from lunging at Jacob Black at the council meeting they had been at over a month ago. The Italian vamps where coming for his freaky imprint and he wanted to make sure nothing happened to her. Paul couldn't care less if they came and took the little abomination away. He had refused to stand with the packs and decided to join Rachel and Leah on getting away. Though only Leah knew about the Voulturi, she didn't know when they were coming. Paul growled low in his throat when he thought about Sam wanting to accompany Paul to keep the women and Ethan safe. He had his imprint yet he was still hung up on Leah.

Ever since Sam found out about Jacob and Leah's relationship, it was all the guy could think about. Sam constantly asked Taha Aki why Jacob Black was special enough to give a barren woman a child. And why it had to be his Lee-Lee. Sam contemplated what he would have done if he would have known about the relationship before Jacob had imprinted. But mostly Sam was pissed at Leah. He couldn't believe that she had fallen for another wolf that was still yet to imprint. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why she would let herself be hurt again.

~Flashback~

_It's not for you to decide_ Paul growled through the mind link running next to the huge black wolf.

_You didn't see how hurt Leah was when she found out about Emily _Sam snarled picturing the day Emily and him had shown up to the Clearwater house asking for forgiveness.

_Shut up Sam, you know that Leah is a big girl, while what she did maybe have been stupid on her part, she didn't deserve it. Black should have known better!_

Sam fought the urge to tear and claw at the nearest tree thinking about that traitor Jacob Black. Imprinting on your fiancés cousin was one thing, but imprinting on the daughter of a woman who broke your heart while you leave you pregnant finance at home, was a whole different story.

_You're only pissed because its Leah Sam, Jacob could have knocked up any girl on the rez and you wouldn't have even batted an eyelash, but because its Leah its taboo. I don't think so_.

_Shut up Paul, you don't know the first thing about her._ Sam snarled, his shackles raised and teeth bared.

_Your right, I don't know shit about her, but one thing I do know is that she would rather have the heartbreak and Ethan, than have you back. _Paul spat in his direction.

~End Flashback~

Paul's lips tugged up into a smile when she saw Rachel coming down the stairs with Ethan wrapped up tightly in a yellow blanket, fully dressed in his jumpsuit. As Rachel hit the bottom of the stairs, he drifter over to her, placed his arms around her waist and rested his face in the crook of her neck Ethan was not occupying. He felt a little hand come in contact with his face squeezing his cheeks for all they were worth.

"Rach help - owowowow - Ethan buddy that hurt" Paul said removing the little boys hand and pretended to bite his fingers. "Yum yum yum yum!" he said attempting to nibble on Ethan's small hands.

Rachel let out a chuckled and turned to kiss Paul. "Maybe we will have to make one of our own in Canada" She whispered watching Paul's face light up.

"Really?"

"Yes really" Rach mused rolling her eyes.

"This is going to be so cool" Paul said kissing her lips again lightly. "I can't wait to be a dad for real. Then Ethan here can have his very first cousin."

"Ethan has two cousins already. Becca has 2 kids, Marcus and Michelle"

"Yeah but she doesn't count, she's in Hawaii" Paul said laughing as Rachel slapped his arm.

"My sister does too count, ass"

"Aww baby, you know what I mean" Paul smirked holding her hips.

"What will you enjoy the most about having a kid Paul?" Rachel asked picturing herself and Paul with 2.5 children and a white picket fence.

"Practicing" He replied kissing her neck, send the familiar ripple of lust down her spine.

"You idiot" Rachel scolded playfully walking into the kitchen.

Paul chuckled as he watched his wife walk to the kitchen to feed Ethan before there long drive up to the snowy mountains. He frowned as he counted the entire suitcases making sure they were all there. He would never figure out why chicks needed two suitcases each for a week holiday especially since he was pretty sure he could have fitted all of his things in a shoulder bag. Paul walked outside taking in the sky, he could tell it would be a nice day but he still had an inclining that once he got back from his holidays he may not ever see all of his pack brothers together. They were taking a big risk for the little spawn of chucky and Paul only hoped that Jacob Black, heir to Ephraim wasn't about to risk it all and lose. Sam only decided to pledge his allegiance to Jacob because of his pure disgust for the human bloodsuckers and the fact that it was part of the imprint rules or something. Sam had mentioned it to Paul not too long ago about the promise to protect your pack brother's imprint. Funny hearing that from Sam, because last time Paul checked Sam had torn up half of Emily's face.

He walked to the car and pulled Ethan's baby seat out but was suddenly frozen in his place. An all too familiar scent flew up his nostrils and he instinctively bared his teeth. It wasn't a sickly sweet smell like the blood suckers but a piny forest like one. _Jacob_, he sneered mentally.

Paul knew Jacob had been hanging around lately from the faint traces he could pick up from the forest bordering the property. Paul almost ripped to car seat from the car and dropped it on the porch, and quickly jogged to the wooded area the smell was coming from. Before long he was met with a huge russet wolf baring his teeth at him and clawing the soft forest ground, littered with vegetation. Paul cocked his head to the side questioning Jacobs's motives, before the wolf headed behind the trees and phased.

A pissed off Jacob Black stormed from behind the trees, pulling up his cut offs and buckling his belt.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Jacob hissed at a confused Paul, glancing back through the trees at the house.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Paul scoffed crossing his arms over his chest.

"The suitcases" He said clenching his teeth tightly together.

"Were going on a holiday" Paul smirked, pissing Jacob off even more.

"And where are you going?"

"None of your business Black" He said starting to become a little irritated with the almighty Alpha male.

"Actually it _is _my business. Your taking my sister, my son and my Le... and Leah" Jacob spoke quickly only to back track the last bit.

"You should be thankful that I am taking them."

"And why is that?" Jacob mocked.

"When the Italian vamps get here do you really want all of them to be in LaPush? What if you can't fight them off, what if they kill everyone here?" Paul said seriously drawing his brows together to frown. "You know Black; I really hope your little girlfriend is worth all of this. I hope she is worth one or all of your brothers lives, because if she isn't you're not going to be able to take it back once one of them are dead. It will be your fault Jacob, so you better be ready to live with the consequences of the decisions you make" Paul now yelled, pointing a condescending finger at the rightful Alpha.

Jacob was caught out by Paul's serious and very true accusations, now also frowning. Paul noticed Jacob's earlier angered eyes had now turned a soft hue of brown, reminding Paul how young Jacob Black actually was.

"Don't you think I am already living with the consequences of my decisions?" Jacob asked looking away from Paul and staring at the house. "You don't think every day I don't want to go running to Leah and my son and ask for her forgiveness and let her kick my ass, instead of watching them from the woods. I am in a hell of my own making. I wasn't strong enough and now it's them who are suffering." Jacob said with shaking eyes.

"So you're ready to risk everyone on this reservation for your child bride?" Paul scoffed shaking his head "Look whatever Black, let me tell you this one time and one time only, you hurt Leah more and Old Quil will be using wolf meat to feed those crows on his property, got it?" Paul hissed at his future brother in law and pack brother. Paul meant what he said. He didn't want Jacob to mess up Leah's life, or his nephews, there was too much at stake.

Paul watched as the Alpha nodded to him before he took off back to the house noting that Logan should be arriving at any moment. Before he broke through the tree line Jacob spoke softly. "Thank you Paul" It sounded legit and sincere.

He just rolled his eyes and continued on. "I don't need thanks for protecting the people I love" Paul scoffed, taking long strides towards the house to check on Rachel and Leah and to greet his cousin.

Jacob watched as Paul walked away, his insult running deep into the Alpha's veins like some kind of a threat. Everything he had built up over the years was slowly crumbling around him. Every friendship he had, his time with Leah, the respect he had earned from the people of LaPush. He pulled his callous hand through his shaggy hair and sighed. Everything was fucked up. Everything was broken and tainted. He couldn't love who he wanted to love, he couldn't protect them without leaving someone else in the line of fire. He should of listened to his father and never have become friends with Bella Swan. Then she would have had no reason to stay in Forks without Edward, then she would have left and the bloodsucker would have never came back. Then he wouldn't have to choose between his imprint and his fiancé and son. Not that there was a choice now.

Jacob huffed again in annoyance. _Just another choice that was taken away..._

_

* * *

_

Leah took the now sleeping Ethan from Rachel and thanked her for watching him while she got the last of the things together.

"No need to thank me Lee, it all part of the favourite aunt duty" She smiled smugly while she made both her and Leah a cup of sweet tea.

"Your his only Aunt Rachel" Leah said rocking Ethan quietly.

"Huh? What about Becca?" Rachel said in an almost shriek.

"Yeah but she doesn't count, she's in Hawaii"

"She does too count. Oh my god, what is wrong with you two?" Rachel asked fully annoyed that both Leah and Paul just happened to answer in the exact same way. Rebecca still counted to her, even though she had run off and married the first guy she met.

Leah smiled mischievously at Rachel. "Well maybe me and Paul are on to something" She chuckled watching Rachel's frown appear.

"You are both asses" She huffed and exited the living room.

Leah chuckled to herself before she heard a loud car horn from the driveway. She got up carefully not to wake Ethan and walked to the window. Outside was a large dark blue SUV, it looked brand smacking new. As the car door opened Leah held her breathe, she wanted to see if the picture of the 16 year old boy did him any justice or if he was one of those guys that got less handsome with age.

The first thing Leah saw was his massive black boots and his dark wash jeans hanging on them. As he stepped from behind the car door, her breathe hitched. He was a truly handsome man. Dark short slightly curly hair, his toffee colored skin was perfectly complemented with a white cotton shirt. His build was toned and muscled, of course not as big as the guys from the pack but a leaner look. She watched as Paul walked over a shook his hand, but it looked as if Logan was having none of that as he quickly pulled Paul into a bear hug. Leah wanted to burst out laughing at the look on Paul's face, which soon too softened, as he embraced his cousin back.

It wasn't until Logan looked at the house to find her standing there that Leah's breath hitched. His eyes, there were so deep and familiar and... green. Her breath soon came flooding back to her when he smiled brightly at her and waving from next to the car, willing her to come outside. She smiled back at him and gave a small wave back.

Rachel was leaning against the door frame watching the interaction, noting that it may have been the first time, in a long time that Leah's smile had reached her big brown eyes.

* * *

AN - I am slacking a little guys, just trying to get back into the swing of things...

So an important note: I will be trying to update all my forgotten stuff before I post more chapters for my new stuff.

My little left out fan fic's *scratches their heads*

*Readers whisper* She's crazy...

*Ses frowns* Hey that may be true but... I... dam it no comeback!

Loves!

Next Chapter: Going to Canada, and having fun in the snow!


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. Baby Black is mine, and I only wish Logan was mine too…**

**

* * *

**

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

**PART I SEVEN**

Leah bit her bottom lip as she walked outside. She didn't know what she'd say to Logan with Rachel and Paul setting up this obvious meeting between them, making it feel like a blind date kind of deal. She was nervous and she left like all the air in her lungs was being pushed out when she looked at his bright smile. He seemed like a happy guy and it hurt a little wondering if Jacob too was happy. If he was happy with his imprint, the one made for him, his other half, his soul mate. She wondered if he even remembered the first time they danced on the porch to and old tune on the kitchen radio. She wondered if her remembered the night she told him she was pregnant, how they'd made love, softly and with so much ease that it brought tears to her eyes.

Leah sucked in a long line of breath, letting Rachel take a sleeping Ethan from her arms, and patted down her clothes, pulling at her sweater. The sweater was nice but obviously made for short people. Leah's long lean body made the sweater not fully reach her jeans, leaving a little sneak peak of skin right where the bend of her hips began. She'd thanked her wolf healing for her excellent recovery after Ethan's birth, but she still felt somewhat different than to what she was before.

"Go gettem tiger" Rachel whispered to Leah as she kissed Ethan's cheek and wrapped him tighter in the baby wrap.

Tucking a piece of hair that had fallen from her messy ponytail, Leah walked out down the porch and towards the two cousins. She could already feel the blush creep across her cheeks as she neared Paul, who was leaning against the SUV on one elbow, smirking between the two and a calm looking Logan who was letting the corner of his mouth slide up into a smirk as he watched her approach. Rachel was right when she said that Logan was a good looking man, he was tall, obviously muscled and toned from playing baseball, and his green eyes were like a smooth jade. She wondered how many Quileute men had an eye colour other than brown.

"Logan this is Leah, the very sexy and very _single _woman I have been telling you about, previously known as 'every guy on the resevations wet dream'. Lee this is my cousin Logan Meraz, the owner of one of the meanest right arms in the whole of California." Paul smirked watching the two. He could totally see Leah and his cousin hooking up. Logan was those kinds of guys that had patience while he did not, he had a knack for being good at everything he did, while also being academically blessed. Paul knew that if Logan didn't get his college scholarship via the sports route, he could definitely get one with the grades he pulled.

Logan held out his large hand in front of him for her to take. Leah wasn't used to these kinds of introductions anymore, opting more for a slap on the back or a right hook to the face. Reaching out her own hand, he took it tightly. She could feel the warmth of his large palms radiating through her hand and shooting up into her arm. It was a strange feeling holding another man's hand in her own.

"Nice to finally meet you Leah. Paul and Rachel have told me so much about you" He smiled, showing even his canines. Leah could smell his scent as the wind picked up. He smelt spicy like cinnamon yet there was an underlying sweetness that engulfed him, like a warm sweetness of a banana cake sitting on the ledge of the window to cool.

Leah gulped and felt her eye lids flutter slightly and her nostrils twitch at the strange mix in scent, while still being highly interesting and even nice. "_Really_?" She asked giving Paul a side glance. "I hope it wasn't all bad"

"Not at all. Most of it very... lovely actually" He said leaning closer, letting his warm breath wash over her. "But I wont hold that against you" He whispered before drawing back.

Leah stood, still with her hand in his, not quite aware that her his fingertips where still brushing against her skin.

"Well we better get going" Paul growled, his eyes looking over Leah and Logan's hands and into the wooded tree line. He could see the faint outline of a huge wolf, and he _knew _who it was. There was only one wolf that was that size, bigger than the whole pack, and even Sam.

He could only just see Jacob stalking in the trees, taking in the scene in front of them and watching what he was watching, witnessing the exchange between the two. Black was going to be pissed but Paul didn't care. Leah deserved to have fun even if it was for a little while. She'd been so wrapped up in little Ethan, making sure he was looked after, feed and entertained. Paul knew Leah was doting on Ethan to take her mind away from Jacob. Jacob was still on her mind constantly and he often heard her crying on the porch late at night when she though no one was awake. Rachel often got upset that she couldn't do anything to help her friend, and would cry to Paul at night in the privacy of their bedroom.

Jacob Black had broken Leah. _Again_. Sam had been like a teenage crush compared to Jacob.

* * *

After Paul and Logan organised the bags to fit in the boot and Leah hooking up Ethan's car seat to the car. She placed him in his seat and began buckling in as Paul and Logan hoped in the front and Rachel sat on the otherside of Ethan.

"Ugh I am so excited" Rachel beamed, fumbling with her seat belt before slotting it in the buckle. "I've never been there before. Which lodge are we staying at honey?" She asked leaning over to pass Paul a bottle of water from the small bag she had between her feet, filled with drinks and snacks.

Paul smiled, taking the water and placed it in the console between him and Logan. "We are staying at "White Rock Mountain Lodge". Brings back some memories doesn't it cuz" He smirked shoving at Logan's shoulder as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Yeah" Logan chuckled, angling his rear view mirror noticing Leah was staring out the window and into the woods. A small frown formed on his face as he wondered what she could be thinking about. Her chin was resting on her palm, a small pout on her lips.

_Man, she's pretty _He thought discreetly to himself. _But she looks really sad. Must have something to do with the asshole that left her and her kid. What a fucken jerk. _He spat internally letting a small frown grace his own lips. Logan knew that if he ever had a chance with Leah he would make sure she'd never want for anything. He make sure that she had everything and anything her heart desired. He'd make a home with her, not just a house, they'd make a family not just have children. He'd even give up his career in the big leagues if she wanted him to. _Wow dude, calm down_ He thought _You don't even know her yet._

"Remember the time Uncle Joey punished us for stealing his 100 year old rum? Your dad was crazy but it was worth it. I was so~o drunk." Paul laughed remembering back on his crazy Uncle Joey.

Logan's Dad was never quite the normal parent. Instead of talking the kids down to the playground, he would strap them into wooden push carts to test how fast the carriage would go down a steep hill. Instead of taking the kids to the shallow end of the beach to paddle in the small rock pools, Uncle Joey would grasp Logan and Paul by the scruff of the shirts and throw them off a crowning in the rocks, straight into the surf below.

It wasn't that he was a bad parent, besides the fact he drank way too much and more often than not didn't show up at parent teacher interviews. Uncle Joey was one of those guys that didn't put an importance on class room education. He was adamant in showing Paul and Logan how to be men. He didn't want them to be afraid so he threw them off the diving rocks in LaPush, even though they were screaming and pleading to be put down. And as he'd anticipated once the boys got over the initial shock, they were jumping on their own.

Uncle Joey let them get into fights, he let them tease the farm dogs until they bit them to frighten the youngsters. He wanted them not to fear the world around them, not to let what anybody else said, deter them from living the way they wanted and without fear.

"Heck yes, we were lucky we were drunk other wise we would have died from hypothermia." Logan laughed slapping his hand against the steering wheel.

"Why what happened?" Rachel asked with her eyes wide and listening intently.

"My dad made me and Paul stand out side in the snow till we were sober"

"What's so bad about _that_?" Rachel scoffed, leaning back into the chair. "You should have seen what happen when me and Becca, we were spanked until our asses turned red. We were always little shit's" She smiled shaking her head at the vast amounts of fond memories she had with her twin.

Logan snorted "Well at least your weren't naked. My father stole our clothes and kicked our asses out the door. And his mountain boots were huge. He told us that he walked 10 miles in the snow to buy the rum when he was younger, so now we had to suffer the same as he did"

"Rach still likes to be spanked" Paul winked at his cousin earning a slap to the shoulder from Rachel in the back seat.

"Shut up Paul" She smiled. "You know, Dad spanked Jacob even harder when he found out he'd pushed Leah over in the dirt and punched Embry in the chest because Jake thought that Lee and Embry where dating. Bear in mind they were like 8. Remember that Lee, when Jake-" Rachel stopped mid sentence when Paul cleared his throat and gave his girlfriend a warning glance. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid to talk about Jacob.

Logan's eyes widened as he saw a stray tear fall from Leah's eye in the rear view mirror. She didn't move to wipe it away, instead she let it fall until it dropped from the side of her face to her sweater as she continued the stare out the window watching the trees flash by.

Rachel shut her mouth immediately and glanced at Leah waiting for her to be scolded but nothing came. All she was meet with was silence.

"Are you okay Leah?" Logan quizzed, looking back at her breifly over his shoulder. "You need me to pull over?"

Looking back towards the road, Logan slammed on the brakes seeing a huge figure in the middle of the road. The man was easily 6'5 and looked like a gladiator, his russet coloured skin shinning like amour.

Screeching to a halt, with Leah's hand out stretched and holding on to Ethan's car seat tightly and Rachel's squeal coming to a stop, Logan cursed the stupid idiot in the road.

"What the fuck?" Logan glared rolling down the electric window of his blue SUV, he shouted to the man. "Get off the road you idiot"

The large man merely glared back, and stood, balling his fists, making the rest of his muscles tense and un-tense with what looked like rage.

_Jeez, he's gonna murder us all _Logan thought as the man cocked his head to the side. _I know I put my baseball bat in here somewhere!_

Paul gave both Leah and Rachel a sorrowful look. "Stay in the car, you two. Don't you move, especially _you_" He said pointing a finger at Leah.

"What are you doing cuz? That guy is going to grind your bones into ash" Logan asked glancing from his cousin to the man. Logan knew Paul could hold his own, but against that monster, he wasn't so sure.

Leah glanced around Paul's head and saw him. He was standing in the middle of the road in his cut-offs and Nike sneakers. His short cropped hair and the rest of his body seemed to shimmer from the trickles of sweat all over his body. She could tell he'd been running, looking over his heaving broad chest as it moved up and down, his breathes almost desperate.

He looked exactly how she'd remembered. The two months they been apart seemed to fold in half like origami and it felt like it was only yesterday she was being rocked in his strong embrace. His dark eyes were looking over the car and she could tell he was grinding his teeth by the way his jaw flexed and his nostrils flared.

Getting out of the car, trying to steer the pissed off wolf away from both his imprint and Leah, Paul stood directly in his line of vision to the car, making a low growl emit from the Alpha's chest.

"What the _fuck _are you doing Black?" Paul snarled, curling his top lip up.

"I need to see them" Was Jacob reply as he stepped around Paul, making his way to the car.

Acting quickly Paul rushed in front of Jacob to cut off his path. "I can't allow that to happen man." Paul hissed.

"Get off me Meraz, before I Alpha command you to never see my sister again" Jacob threaten pushing at Paul's forearm to release the grip the lower ranked wolf had on his shoulder. Walking forward again Jacob suddenly felt the large weight on top of him as he tumbled to the ground.

Paul tackled him quickly and they were both sent rolling down the small embankment just off to the side of the road. Tumbling a few meters down Paul was now pinned under the Alpha's weight.

Jacob growled threateningly at him, grasping the scuff of his shirt and yanking his sister's imprinter closer. Before Jacob had time to threaten Paul with a painful and slow death, he heard a soft cry coming from the road above them, which gave Paul enough time to re-act.

Brother in law to be or not, Paul had to get out of Jacob clutches so will a swift strike, he wriggled his arm free and connected his fist with Jacob's face with a right hook as his attention was diverted to Ethan's crying.

"Shit" Jacob spat, rolling off Paul and wiping his nose to find blood staining his palm. _Did Paul just fucken hit me?_ He thought before he saw Paul scramble to his feet, his hands raised ready for an oncoming fight.

"If I _wanted _to fight you Paul, it _wouldn't _be in human form" Jacob snarled, staggering to his feet and pinching his blood filled nose to ease the leak until the wolf healing clotted his blood.

Paul ignore his comment and stood staunchly. "You can't see them Jacob." Paul spat, glaring darkly at the true Alpha who stood in front of him.

"And who the fuck are _you _to deny me" Jacob growled, balling his fists by his side, to stop from trying to rip Paul in half. Rachel wasn't exactly on Team Jacob at the moment and he didn't want to piss her off anymore after the bashing he'd gotten the other day.

Glancing quickly up at the hill they'd roll down, Paul blew out a long line of air, before filling his lungs again with oxygen. "Your going to hurt her again. Leah can't handle it Jacob. I know you want to make an effort but I _won't _allow it." Paul growled his anger suddenly building. "You can't build her hopes up Jacob, you can't just see them both and act like it's all sunshine and fucking rainbows when it isn't. She still loves you and it kills her. Your killing her Jacob... you have to let Leah go"

Jacob stood shaking his head at Paul. "I can't let her go. I've tried. Every time I look at Nessie I am happy, like my heart is going to explode because she means everything to me. But Leah... I love her, she's like my air. Sometimes I know she's there, blowing gently, but when the wind stops I know she's gone and I miss her. I need her Paul. I need them both."

As Paul was about to speak he was cut off by Jacob.

"I have a son that I haven't seen. I have a son that looks like me and I can't even hold him. I hate how all I can think about is Bella's daughter. I hate how I love her more than my own son. I just want to see him... _them - _before the battle. I don't know if I'll make it out alive and to be honest I don't know if I _want _to..."

"I can't change what happened Paul, but maybe if I see Leah, explain that - explain that no matter what Ethan will have a father that loves him. Tell her how much I miss her - I don't know what the fuck I am doing. I don't know how to make this right"

"You can't make it right Jake. Your the Alpha, you are the strongest member of our pack, and if you can't break an imprint no one can. I'm sorry to tell you this but you can't see her. You will only continue to break her heart and I can't let you do that. You don't know what she has been through. Sam left her, Seth left her, _you _left her. But I'm not going leave her Jake. Me and Rachel love Leah like family, we are not going to let her hurt over you anymore. She deserves better than we've all given her. Shit, I even gave her a hard time but this is different. She didn't need me then, but she needs me now. So when you ask what _right _do I have to tell you to stay away from her, I answer you this; I am her family Jacob Black. She needs me and I won't fail her. I will not let you hurt her again."

Hearing the snap of twigs Paul spun around to find Leah standing behind him, with her arms folded against her chest. "Paul, go wait in the car." Leah said calmly without any malice in her voice. "I need to speak with Jacob"

"Leah, you shouldn't-"

"Paul _please_" She begged looking up at him with saddened eyes.

"Fine. But you have 10 minutes. That's _it_" He snarled, stalking up the embankment.

"Thank you Paul, for _everything_" Leah breathed out, making Paul freeze a moment before he continued his climb.

Leah turned her head away from Paul to look back at Jacob who stood a few feet away. She wanted to run into his arms, cry on his shoulder and hold on to him so he'd never leave again. But the harsh reality was that the closer she held onto the dream of Jacob, the further he became. Biting down on her bottom lip, she stood, awaiting the last words she may ever have with Jacob Black, the father of her son, the love of her life and the only man that had the strength to break her.

* * *

**AN: OMG! An update I did it! I don't know where this angsty shit came from but I like it... I have no idea how I am going to keep updating this and La Luna at the same time. One with happiness, one with sadness, but I'll do it, damn you *shakes fist* And yes I am aware that this chapter was meant to be their holiday in Canada... but my mind decided this was the way to go!**

**I may only have shorty chaps like this one, but that will ensure I don't lose track and continue to push out chapters... \^_^/ YAY! So anyways, I might update 'Hate Me' tonight but I'll see how it goes. If the brain is willing than so is the body! This is dedicated to all the people who dropped me a line and screamed at me to update this story... Much love goes to you!**

**Ses xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. Baby Black is mine, and I only wish Logan was mine too…**

* * *

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

**PART I EIGHT**

Leah felt like a small girl standing in front of Jacob once again. It had felt like a eon since she had last been in his presence. His warm calm radiating around the both of them, a feeling that she had missed. His warmth had long ago brought her comfort and security, only now bringing painful memories of a life lost. Bringing her hand up she gripped her elbow and stood with the one hand across her body, the closed off body language making her feel somewhat more secure than just standing exposed in front of Jacob, her and her bleeding heart. She wasn't sure of what she had been thinking when she left the safety of the car, much to Logan's protests and followed Paul down the embankment only minutes ago.

Breathing a shaky breath she finally looked at up the brown eyes she loved. Somewhere deep inside she felt her soul shatter into a million pieces. This man in front of her shared the same eyes as her son, yet somehow he was no longer Jacob Black, the chief, the boy who loved mechanics, the guy who helped her heal, the true Alpha. No. He was Bella's puppy, he's was a Cullen lapdog and he was forever tied to a baby with bronze hair and flawless features, who would be his wife one day and give him children he could love. Stronger Wolves.

"Lee-" He breathed stepping forward. He stopped momentarily as he watched her step back quickly, obviously not wanting to have him too close to her. Jacob's heart sank a little knowing that the Leah he loved, made love to, was engaged to, and had a child with, was no longer his. His to hold, his to kiss, his to watched the rare sun fall behind the black abyss of the LaPush clouds. He could see her eyes searching his as he stood still looking at the woman he'd given up for an imprint, the only woman that truly loved him for no reason other than because she did.

"Leah – I" Jacob took another step forward and watched her once again step back. Running a dirty hand through his hair he sighed and stood with his hands at his sides. It all felt so wrong having her almost afraid of his touch, afraid to be in front of him. She had never been afraid of him. Even when he'd kissed her in the middle of the forest, even when she'd defied Sam and joined his pack. He was so far lost, he could barely register the feeling that ran through her eyes. Not of fear but of heartbreak.

She looked weary and almost tired, the small rings under her eyes telling him that she wasn't sleeping well, if at all. Her hair was grown out a little and she showed no signs of giving birth to their son only months ago. Her skin was still smooth and the glow around her seemed to be radiating from it. Her hips a little more pronounced but still extremely seductive did little to expel his thoughts of the first time they'd made love under the cover of the forest canopy and the moon as a witness. Jacob shot a quick glance up the hill, silently wanting to crawl up to the car and look at his boy, as he heard his cries once again. Would it be too much to ask to hold his son in his arms, kiss his forehead and breathe in the life they'd created together?

"I'm going to Canada" Leah said quickly watching as Jacob looked up to the car. "I'm taking _my _son there, whilst there are vampires running around"

Jacob nodded at her statement, turning to look back at her, her face showing no signs of a woman who was incapable of protecting her own. She was still a warrior, possessed with the wolf spirit of their people. "Can I see him?"

Leah bit her lip nervously. She didn't think Jacob would ask to see Ethan, let alone think she'd ever see Jacob himself again. Paul had told her about the upcoming visit from the Volturi and their plans to attack the Cullen family. At first she had been worried for Jacob's sake, taking on ancient vampires was a dangerous position to be in, but she'd pushed those thoughts quickly aside. She'd _had _to forget about the man standing in front of her, all the promises, all the dreams they had built together. She would have worried herself to death if she let her mind take over.

"No" She said calmly. "No you can't see _my_ son" Standing in a defensive position, Leah squared her shoulders and clenched her fists.

Jacob couldn't believe what she was saying. He was the boys father and he _wanted _to see him. Surely she could not deny such a small request. "He's _mine _too. I'm his father." Jacob spat a little more viciously than intended, his jaw tensed and his eyes narrowed.

Leah felt a ripple of anger move through her. How dare he claim that Ethan was his. He may genetically be Ethan's parent, but he was _no _father. "No your not. Your _not _his father. You don't know the first thing about him. He's mine. Mine to have, and mine to love. So go back to your fucking house of corpses and to your fucking baby bride." She hissed, turning on her heel and heading up the small hill. She had to leave, escape, Jacob was too close, he was using up all the air in the small space, she couldn't breathe.

"Leah!" Jacob called out, anger pumping through his veins, watching her turn and walk away from him. Moving quickly he grabbed her elbow, spinning her around violently.

"Fuck you Jacob. Get away from me" She yelled pushing his chest, feeling the intimidating heat of his russet skin.

"Lee" He warned again, a growl ripping through his chest as his grip clamped down on her arm. "Don't speak about things you don't know. I will not allow you to talk about my imprint like that" He hissed, nearing her face, his eyes black with anger.

"Yeah that's right Jacob. Rub it in. Rub salt harder on to the wound. Of course I wouldn't know anything about your god damn perfect imprint life, because I'll never have one of mine own. You used me Jacob. You used me and put these perfect pictures into my head of a life I'll never have. You can stick up for Bella's spawn but you can't even be there to see you son born. I needed you and flowers and a fucking basket of fruit will never make up for that. You used my heart to kill me. You used me against myself. You've always loved seeing me hurt. You couldn't wait to introduce bitchy Leah to Bella that day. You used my pain, my heartbreak, my vulnerability. It's so easy to imprint and walk away, isn't it, isn't it?"

"Leah I didn't fucking use you. I loved you" He said gripping her arm impossibly tight and shaking her, trying to make her see. He didn't ask for this and if he could he would take it all back. "I loved you more than anything. I would have killed for you. Died for you."

"You didn't need to kill yourself once you imprinted because you killed me Jake! You fucking killed me! You left - and - and I" Taking a large gulp Leah continued. "I trusted you Jacob. I believed you when you said you'd fight against the magic. I believed that we would always be together, that I was the one for you. You made me believe you." She snarled pushing against his chest.

"I believed it too Leah. It wasn't a one way street. I believed I could fight it. I believed you were the woman for me, the love of my life, because you WERE!" He yelled.

"Were. Used to be. All past tense" She muttered quietly, feeling the tears already rolling down her face. She'd concluded a while back that of course Jacob didn't love her enough, that he preferred to have a perfect life with his soul mate rather than with her. She admitted to herself he didn't love her, that he didn't need her anymore, just like she tried to make herself believe that she was over him, that she could move on, live without him. Though to actually hear Jacob say it was a totally different story. It was like stabbing yourself with a blade and then having the person you love most in the world twist it and watch all the muscle constrict and tear.

"I don't know how to make this right Leah. I don't want you to hurt. I never meant to hurt you"

"This is exactly why I told you in the first place to leave me alone." She screamed "Why couldn't you just turn away, leave me. I wish you had never kissed me, told me your feelings, promised me the world. Why the fuck didn't you leave me to rot Jacob. Who gave you the fucking right to make me fall in love with you." She cried hitting against his chest with everything she had. "Who?"

"Leah-"

"I told you to leave me, you should have let me die!" She shrieked, tears rolling one after the other down her face. She could taste the salt of her tears on her lips, making her cry harder.

Jacob couldn't help but wrap Leah in a tight hug, pulling her close and letting her cry into his chest. The wetness of her face slowly dripping on his chest making his heart beat into overdrive. He'd missed this, all the times they'd shared wrapped up so closely in each other that they were ultimately one person. He missed her with all his heart and soul. Her laugh, her tears, her everything.

After a few minutes of him rubbing her back and taking in the sweet scent of her hair Jacob sighed. "I'm sorry Lee. I'm sorry I promised you all those things. I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry that we couldn't be each other's everything."

Pulling away Leah looked up into his brown eyes that were boring down into her own. "That's the difference between me and you Jacob. I may not be everything to you, but you are still everything to me." She said softly moving out of his embrace, her head down, her eyes still trembling with tears.

Taking a deep breath she straightened her sweater, using the sleeve to wipe her face. "You can't see him Jacob. The moment you left me, you left Ethan too. You left your son for Bella Cullen's child. You left me broken and your son fatherless. I will not have Ethan love you when you cannot return the feelings. I deserved better and so does my son. My child will never be second best Jake, and in your eyes he always will be."

"That's not fair Leah. I'm about to fight a war I am not even sure we can win, I might die out there and all you can say is that I'm not his father and I don't love him. What a load of shit!" He scolded, glaring darkly at her.

"Tell me this then Jacob" Leah glared back, a growl ripping through her chest. "If both Ethan and Renesmee where out in that field and you could only save one of them, who would it be? Who would you save? Who would you let live? And why?" She quizzed a frown upon her forehead, waiting for his answer.

Jacob thought intently, the sounds of the forest circling them as the silence over took.

"I'd save Ethan because Bella would never let Nessie be in that kind of situation" He answered, watching her shake her head in disappointment.

"Wrong answer Jake." Leah sighed turning and walking up the embankment towards the car. "You were meant to say Ethan, because he's your son and you love him more than anything. Even more than Bella Cullen's child. I would give everything to save my son Jacob, I wouldn't even spare a second thought."

"That's not fair Leah. I would still save him. I _do _love him" He shouted after her as she her shoes dug hoarsely into the soft vegetation of the forest floor.

Stopping just before the road, Leah turned back and looked down at the man she'd let break her heart. "Well we all see were love gets us Jacob. Sometimes love isn't enough. I'm living proof." She smiled weakly before closing her eyes and making her way back to the SUV.

* * *

"Hey - Are you okay?" Logan asked quietly, sitting down next to Leah who was sitting on the steps of the large cabin they'd hired.

"Sure" Leah whispered back, pulling the woollen shawl tighter around her body. "Are Paul and Rach going to join us?" She inquired turning her head towards the door.

"Nah. They thought they'd turn in once they put Ethan down." He sighed leaning back on his palms and looking out into the fields. The snow was falling quickly this year and the weather man had cast good amounts to fall over night, making the skiing no doubt excellent for the next day. "He's really something." Logan laughed remembering the constant giggling from the small boy in the car, his big brown eyes taking in the scenery as they drove. "He sure is happy"

Leah smiled, one side of her lip coming up, letting out a crocked smile thinking about Ethan.

Logan noticing the smile, chuckled. "Now there's what I have been waiting for. Now if you match it up with the other side, you'll really make my day."

Blushing, Leah looked away, trying to hide the dorky smile she'd let out. "That was really cheesy Logan" She laughed, shaking her head.

"What can I say? I love your smile." He said calmly looking back out to the snow capped mountains. "Leah, can I ask you something?"

Shrugging her shoulders Leah glanced over at him as he took in the mountains with complete interest, his line of sight never faltering. "Shoot"

"Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Two people meet, fall in love. Kind of like fate. Where nothing leading up to that point matters, because everything else falls away?"

"I - um – I'm not sure." She said turning her body towards his. "Emphasise?"

"I guess it would kind of be like love at first sight. It that moment you see that perfect someone for the first time. It's like time stops, everything else doesn't move. Because there's that one person that is your gravity." Leah held her breath as he spoke. To her it had almost sounded like the moment of imprinting. A memory that Sam had shared over and over when they were a pack. She was lucky not to have witness Jacob's moment of imprinting. She didn't want to see the exact moment where she was pushed aside, where she became nothing more than a memory. She had seen it through Sam's eyes and she had understood. Emily soon became not only his gravity but the gravitational pull of his body and thoughts, his heart, his soul, and his reason for living. She'd meant nothing to both men after that moment in time, when the earth shifted on to it's axis and the world became whole.

"Um okay. That sounds really nice" She said uncomfortably, cringing at the thought. "But no. I have never felt that way, except for when Ethan was born. The moment I looked at him, I knew he was the only person I could ever love like that." She finished with a smile. Ethan was truly the only thing on this earth left to love. He loved her unconditionally because she was her. Because she sung to him, to held him close when he cried, when he was happy, sad, scared, ecstatic, he needed her. Being needed was a part of the human condition. It was part of love and it was part of life. Ethan needed her love and she would give it to him, with out question, without a thought and without reason.

"Lucky boy" Logan hummed, watching as her smile lit up her whole face. There was something about Leah that Logan couldn't put his finger on. It was like this woman had automatically won him over with one look. When he'd seen her standing in the window holding her son, it felt like she'd been waiting for him. Like some kind of fucked up dream, he'd felt a wave of deja vu, like he'd been there before, looking at his wife and son, who were waiting for him to come home.

"Just for the record, I think your going to be fine Leah" He whispered, taking her hand and giving it a quick squeeze. Her hands were soft and supple, but held such strength within her palm. "You've made it so far, you'll keep on making it. Not everything is easy. Life throws you curve ball after curve ball and only some of us make it to home base."

Leah could help but laugh at his statement. "Really? You just had to put something to do with Baseball in your little speech"

"It's all I've really know all my life. Baseball's been the one thing I can throw myself into full heartedly and I am thankful because it's given me so much back. But now that I am getting older, joints not working as well as they used to, I think it's time to focus on more important things in life. Like finding a nice woman, having a family, celebrating the 4th of July with 4 year old's holding sparklers and screaming in delight, kissing my wife on our anniversary. Sounds totally corny I know, but sometimes you start to think of the future, you know. Loving someone who loves you back, having them be the first thing you wake up to, the last thing before you go to sleep." Pausing for a moment Logan took a breath. "Yeah, I have those dreams."

Leah could only nod at his statement and agree. She wanted _that _more than anything in her unstable life. Logan pretty much summing it up into a nut shell. She wanted to kiss her husband good night, lay with him, dress her children for school in the mornings, eat Nutella from the jar with a spoon as they watched a movie, make love under the stars, cry at her daughter's wedding, marry a man who was devoted to her. They were all dreams she hoped would one day come true. Whether in this life or the next.

"Come on, the snows about to get harder, let's get you inside. Hot Cocoa?"

Laughing, Leah brushed her hair to the side. "Sure" She smiled taking his out stretched hand and letting him help her up, feeling the warmth of his hand and the ease of his voice.

Logan was a sweet guy, thoughtful, caring, gentle and open. He was a perfect gentlemen. Though when they walked inside, the only thing she could think of when she glanced out to the snow capped mountains, was Jacob Black.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Twilight or any of its associated characters, they belong to Stephanie Meyers. Baby Black is mine, and I only wish Logan was mine too…**

* * *

Summary: Leah and Jacob had been in love. They had loved each other like they hadn't ever loved before. But like all fairy tales and happy endings, the story must end somewhere. Most people think that it is magic when you find the person you love with all your heart, but for Leah, it was magic that took that love and killed her. Enter: IMPRINTING!

* * *

**PART I NINE**

Watching the morning snow fall onto the window sill Leah sighed, snuggling closer to her son, touching his warm little feet making sure they were covered fully by the large woollen quilt Logan had retrieved from the cupboard for her as she headed to bed the night before. Their parting had been not so much uncomfortable as it was awkward. Over a hot much of cocoa, she'd shared with Logan the story of how she came to be, sitting in a wooden cabin, single, a child and trying to be set up by her two dearest friends.

She'd been kind enough to leave out the part of turning into a wolf, Sam Imprinting, Seth Imprinting and Jacob Imprinting. All moments had flashed by hurtfully in her own mind, the sudden realisation that the men in her life where no longer bound to her in any way. Sam, her first love, was with her cousin and no longer wanted nor needed her. Seth, her brother, her only sibling, had been content enough to pack his bags to leave with his imprint, wanting to know her better and forget all about his sister. Jacob, _well_, Jacob Black, her second love, the love of her life, the father of her son, he'd left one day and never returned like she'd meant nothing to him, like just by existing she was taking up room that could better used for cooing at the monstrosity he called an Imprint.

Leah had come to terms that she would never be good enough, never be enough for any man. She'd had the chance throughout her life, to show them love, to show them grace, only to have it be shoved back in her face with a 'return to sender' stamp labelled all over it. Logan had sat across from her all night, listening to the story she seemed so desperate to want to tell. For him it wasn't enough to just sit across from her, so when the tears began, he stood from the stool he sat at and scooted her over, slipping under the throw rug and hugging her. He hugged her with force, showing her that he was there, that he was listening and that she wouldn't fall and shatter into glass as she believed.

He didn't say a word, opting to let her continue on with her story of how her fiancée just didn't come back and instantly fell in love with someone else. Logan himself couldn't believe how anyone could leave her. She was so beautiful with her flushed cheeks from crying, her sparkling eyes, her button nose and her pink pillowed lips. He held her close, letting her head rest against his chest as she spoke, the vibrations of her words running straight through him.

It was a long night, a good night and Leah was thankful that Logan knew who she was, where she'd been and how much she didn't need someone just waiting to screw her over again. The night had ended with a soft kiss on the cheek as he handed her the stitched quilt, the same one he remembered from the times him and Paul would come as kids, and left her in the hallway with a small blush and a smile creeping on her lips.

Leah turned, slipping out of the warm bed when she heard a faint knock at the door, brushing her fingers through her hair to make a lose bun. Opening the door slightly, she peeked through looking at her guest.

"Hey" She smile, sparing a glance back at Ethan before turning back to Logan. "You need something?"

"Just wondering if you wanted to take a walk after breakfast?" Logan smiled, his dimples popping from his cheeks. It was the first time she'd actually noticed them, their deepness, and the way it made him seem warm and familiar.

"Umm- sure. I'll meet you down stairs?" She nodded, angling her chin towards the stairs to signal his leave.

"Sure, sorry, um- I'll just-" Logan not watching where he was going, bumped his knee against the small wooden stand in the hall, shouting and clutching at it immediately. "Fuck!" He cried, his grip holding firmly down on his knee, Leah swinging the door open and running out to help him.

"Jesus... sit down" She scolded, watching as he flinched in pain as he outstretched his arm to support his weight as his ass met the floor. "You okay?" Leah asked, straightening out his leg and folding up his jeans to above his knee. She could see the deep pink scars only a centre meter wide on both sides of his knee where the key hole surgery for his reconstruction had taken place.

"I think so, just a little tender around the joints. That table just about killed me" He flinched, feeling her fingers press down and work along the top of his shin, trying to relieve his pain.

"Too hard?" She quizzed, lightening up a little, unsure of how hard she was actually pressing.

"No, just right" He breathed, his lips pulled a little tight and his eyes closing.

"You really need to watch where your going" Leah chuckled, kneading her fingers over the flesh of his knee.

"Yeah-" He mumbled, slightly embarrassed that he'd made a fool of himself. "I get nervous when I'm around-" Quickly he pressed his lips together and shook his head, scolding himself for opening his mouth.

"When your around _what_?" Leah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um- beautiful women" He muttered, turning away from the brown eyes that were staring at him waiting for an answer.

Leah quickly brushing aside his words, blushed a little before tugging the fold of his jeans down. "There. Too much stimulation around the cartilage will damage your knee further." She smiled, getting to her feet and holding her hand down at him for him to grab.

"You know something about it?" He asked cocking his head to the side and taking her hand.

"Yeah. My mum is a nurse actually and my dad sometimes had troubles with his knees, so, me being the good girl I am, used to massaged his knees for him when mum was at work" She laughed pulling him to his feet, watching him stumble a little. "Here" She whispered, slipping under his arm and letting him use her for support as he walked. "Let me help you down the stairs"

"Thanks" Logan muttered, trying not to lean much of his weight against her. "I'm not to heavy am I?" He asked as they reached the steps, grabbing on to the handle for extra leverage.

"Not at all" She laughed, edging down each step letting him follow her.

* * *

After taking a long hot shower, Leah slipped back in the room to find Ethan, in the castle of pillows surrounding him, wide awake and gurgling happily. "Hello my little prince" She smiled, leaning over him to kiss his forehead. She watched as his hands came up trying to grasp at her wet hair as it dangled around him. "No baby... no pulling hair, it's very painful for mummy" She laughed, pulling down the small pyjama's he had on to cover his little belly.

She could swear she saw a little frown before his smile appeared again and he kicked his legs hard. "Okay okay, hang on" She called out, tugging on her underwear and jeans, before slipping on a long sleeved cardigan and pulling on her winter coat. Even though she hadn't phased in a while, her body still kept the heat of her wolf, her only reason to dress so weather appropriate was to keep up appearances. Just as she moved to pick up her son, there was a small knock and Rachel slipped into the room, the smell of a delicious breakfast following her in.

"Breakfast is ready honey and _oh_- look who's awake! How's my favourite boy?" Rachel cooed, sweeping Ethan from Leah's arms and petting him heavily all over his face.

"Gosh Rachel, let the boy breathe" Leah exclaimed rolling her eyes and bending down to pull on her winter boots.

"Never" Rachel whispered running her nose against Ethan's as he laughed happily clawing at anything he could reach. "Paul and I are going over down to hire some ski equipment, you want me to take Ethan?" She asked with puppy dog eyes obviously wanting her nephew to tag along.

"Fine" Leah huffed, tying her hair up and wrapping the scarf around her neck. "But he needs a bath and some warm clothes - oh and Rach?"

"Hmm" She hummed still playing with Ethan.

"Please don't let Paul bob sled with him" Leah sighed, knowing that Paul Meraz was capable of such things.

"Jeez Lee, Paul's not that- _wait_- never mind. I won't. He's going to stay with his favourite Aunty... aren't you - aren't you" She sing songed to the end, dancing around the room with Ethan in her arms. "Say bye mummy, _bye_" Rachel mused, shaking Ethan's hand to imitate a wave.

Leah rolled her eyes again, kissing her son's cheek and heading down stairs.

* * *

After a quiet breakfast Leah and Logan headed out, leaving behind Paul and Rachel with Ethan, who was still being dressed in his warmest clothes.

"Smitten, isn't she" Logan chuckled, holding out his hand for Leah to grab as she stepped down the icy porch steps of the wooden cabin.

"Very" Leah smiled, taking his hand and stepping carefully down the steps. "I sometimes forget who's baby he is. She'll be a good mother one day"

"Yeah. I never thought my cousin would actually settle down. He was always razzle dazzle Paul, if you know what I mean. Wow the ladies for a night and then up and forget about them. It's nice to see him with Rachel. She brings out the best in him, you know. I mean the guy was actually doing to dishes last night, I never thought I'd see the day"

The way Logan spoke made Leah unbelievably comfortable and at ease. He reminded her of her own brothers ways, the way he used to be, carefree, happy, positive. She missed Seth something fierce but knew that no matter what she did she'd never have her baby brother back. Seth's absence in her life made things difficult. After Jacob, she didn't have anyone, no shoulder to cry on, no warm arms or voice, telling her that everything was going to be okay and that they were there, and that they'd never leave her.

Rachel and surprisingly Paul had been her shinning light in tough times. She'd never thought that two people could change her so much, make her see that her son needed a mother, someone strong, someone ready to take on the world, make it a better place for him. She'd wanted Jacob to be her everything, but after all they'd been through she realised that the only man that needed her as much as she needed them was Ethan.

"- and then we went up to Chicago, and man, what a pitch Santoro had. I swear that guys a monster. Imagine, David and Goliath, in baseball jerseys, Goliath ready to pummel David into a pulp with his fist and a ball-" Logan spoke excitedly, glancing at Leah who had not spoken a word. "Sorry. I'm talking too much right? Damn I just get so excited when it comes to baseball..." He muttered, before feeling to light brush of heat on his forearm.

"Keep talking. I like it. I want to hear everything" She smiled pulling her hand back and walking closer this time, their shoulders brushing every now and then.

"Well okay" Logan murmured, pulling a hand through his wavy brown hair, it's shortness still showing the slight curl. "Let me start at the beginning. When I was growing up my mother always told me 'Son, dream big, try everything, live not only for today but for tomorrow, trust everyone, hate no one, love with all your heart, and show tenderness'. That was kind of her motto. I loved my mom so much and when she died of breast cancer 5 years ago, I knew my life was never going to be the same. She was like one of those women that just jumped out from a crowd of hundreds at you. She was warm, laughed a lot, ate well and literally loved us till we couldn't breath. Me and my older brother Gary were never close, so when mom died, we kinda - just - parted ways. He's a cool guy but we never meshed well. Paul and I on the other hand, well, you could pretty much say we were long lost brothers-"

Leah listened closely to Logan's words, trying to see the world through his eyes. He'd grown up well, he had a family that loved him and even a brother who worked in Dallas as a stock man. Logan had led a very full life, his experiences far out weighing his age, his life kind and graceful to him, though always unlucky in love.

"So when you and Michelle broke up, she hooked up with one of your friends?" Leah asked looking over his face.

"Yeah, I didn't really care though. She had a choice and I accepted that. I just wish she would have told me she'd slept with half of the team first."

"That's harsh" Leah exclaimed, shaking her head and bumping lightly into Logan.

"You cold?" He asked grasping her hand in his own, taking her off guard a little.

"No" She whispered, watching to snow trail in front of her extremely close. She wanted to pull her hand away from his until she felt the warmth pool from his palms, or maybe it was the heat of her own, trapping itself between their skin. Nervously she smiled up at him as he led her down to the snow covered lake.

"This is the Goulanchua Lake. They say has magical powers from the tribe that used to live up in these parts." He explained looking out over at the lake, small piles of snow littering the icy top. The trees around the lake were snap frozen and covered in snow, reminding him of Christmas, the best time of the year, the most magical time. It was moments like Christmas, watching the ones you love, beam with happiness as they all ate, drank and shared their time with one another. He'd missed the small things like sitting in front of the fire as small fairy lights lit up a pine tree, small sparkles of light flickering off the coloured balls and tinsel, the way a lover sat between your legs as you both enjoyed the leaping flames of a fireplace. To be merry and be in love.

"What kind of magic?" She asked, leaning her head down to look over the small cliff and the frozen water. It was a small drop but her senses told her that the ice was thin and would not be sturdy enough to hold their weight so they stood close enough to make it feel as if they were standing on it.

"You get one wish. Anything your heart desires. If the tribes god's believe you are worthy they will grant you the wish, but only on one condition." He whispered, enticing her to take the bait.

"And what's that?" Leah breathed, squeezing his hand and she leaned over a little more to get a good look at the lake.

"You have to seal the deal with a kiss" He smirked, a wide smile tugging at his lips.

Leah's head spun around to look him dead in the face, her eyes wide before narrowing them into slits and staring at him. "Bullshit" She glared, a smile of her own gracing her lips slowly, she was trying desperately to rein it back without any success.

Logan chuckled back, shrugging his shoulders and smirking back at her. "Worth a try right?" He said pulling her hand so her body moved closer allowing him to slip his arm around her waist. He smiled to himself as he lay his head against her hair, feeling her tense and quickly slouch into him.

"It feels nice to hug" She whispered, snaking her arms around his back and pulling him closer, letting his body heat seep through her clothes. "It's been a while, you know?" She stated, looking up at his face.

"Yeah, funny though-" He whispered staring out into the horizon of the snowy surroundings. "Feels like I'm finally home" He smiled, as Leah watched him closely, watching the wave of emotion run through his eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

**PART l TEN**

Shuffling around the kitchen, Leah grabbed the little packet on the bench, unwrapping it carefully and removing the candle waxed number five from it's packet. Gently, she placed the number atop the large green and blue racing car cake, before backing away slowly, allowing her self to have a few minutes grace to admire her work.

It wasn't anywhere near a professional standard like of that you might find at a bakery, but is was damn near close, if she didn't mind saying herself. Ethan loved cars, and really anything that involved the little matchbox cars. His collection was vast and like that of the rainbow. A small yellow Corvette, a green Mitsubishi GT300, a orange Chevy impala, a red mini cooper. Yeah, Ethan's collection was pretty huge no thanks to Logan. Logan decided the day Ethan took interest in the small metal cars, was the day he'd search everywhere for every different make and colour and was adamant in giving Ethan anything he wanted.

"Honey, it's perfect" Logan smiled, standing in the lip of the door and looking over the living room. Leah had managed to decorate the whole space, coinciding perfectly with the car theme and his favourite colours.

"You think?" Leah fidgeted nervously, twiddling her fingers and biting the corner of her lip, still looking over the room. "Do you think it's enough? I still have more decorations-" She mumbled, trying to swoop past him and out to the car where she'd kept the extra streamers and balloon's that she'd picked up earlier from the store.

"Honey-" Logan scolded, grasping Leah's wrist and pulling her back to wrap his large arms around her. "What are we going to do with you Lee?" Logan smiled, kissing her cheek and nuzzling against her neck. He'd had a feeling Leah would go overboard for Ethan's birthday, but still he couldn't help chuckle as he felt her hugging him back but still using her hands to re-arrange something behind him."Stop baby. It's going to be fine" He said shaking his head and sighing.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop" She grumbled.

"And what did we talk about last night in the bubble bath?" He asked, teasing her and wanting her to suffer.

Leah shot him a glare and rolled her eyes. "Don't hover, let the kids have fun and don't forget to breathe"

"Exactly" Logan laughed, cupping her face and kissing her lips gently. "Now-" He started, running his hands down her back to rest on her waist. "- where is the birthday boy?"

"Mum and Billy where taking him this morning so I could decorate the house."

"So we're home alone?" Logan asked, the corner of his mouth shifting into a smirk.

"Hmm-mm" Leah hummed, running her hands along Logan's chest and standing on her tippy toes for a kiss. Logan growled a little when Leah pulled away, his hands slipping under her shirt and running his huge palms across her flesh. "Mum and Billy are going to be here soon with Ethan" She smiled, brushing her nose with his and kissing him once more.

"Okay, okay" He said defeated as he let her out of his grasp. Moving to help clean up the discarded plastic on the floor, from the wrappers of all the decorations Logan spoke again. "Did you speak to Billy about the wedding?"

Leah snapped straight again, almost smashing her her against the coffee table as she rose. "Um – yeah, the answer is still no."

Logan scowled thinking about the way Billy Black was constantly trying to remind Leah about his son and Ethan's father, Jacob. Billy had told them before that because Leah and Jacob bore the mark of partners that they were married in Quileute eye's, therefore he would not marry them. It would have been easy to just go and have a normal wedding but both wanted it on the Reservation, and rules were rules. Plus the only one that marries anyone, is the chief. And there was no way in hell, Billy Black wanted Logan to marry his Jacob's, Leah.

"I don't understand why he continues to do this. You said yourself, Jacob is with some chick in Alaska, the orange haired one, why does Billy think that Jacob and _you _are going to get back together? You're marrying me, you're with me, I love you, I want to give you everything, and Jacob... well Jacob. I thank him everyday that he left, because otherwise I would never have found you" He grumbled wrapping her up in a hug like she was going to run away.

Pulling him down softly, they both landed on the couch. "Logan" Leah whispered, running her hands through his hair and pulling his head down to rest his forehead against hers. "I know it's going to be hard. You have to understand that Billy is just being...well, Billy. He loves Jacob and believes that he should be with me and Ethan-" Just as Logan was about to interrupt she pressed her palm against his mouth. "- But, I love you and nothing is going to change that, I want to be with you, and grow old and grey and horrible" She chuckled as she slowly inched her hand away from his face.

"You'll never be old and horrible Lee" Logan whispered, pushing her down on the couch, bracing his forearms around her head to hover over her. Kissing her softly, Logan smiled when he felt Leah's hands weave their way into his hair and pull him down with force.

"That's what you think" She chuckled kissing him harder and snaking her tongue into his mouth. Both moaned at the contact their tongue's made as they lapped and swirled with each other's. Leah could feel Logan's hand inching it's way up the front of her shirt, softly brushing her stomach and creeping higher. They hadn't noticed the sudden shift in the room, nor the slight breeze coming through the open door.

Billy shook his head as he cleared his throat interrupting the two making out on the couch.

"Billy Black!" Sue scolded, slapping his shoulder lightly and pushing him inside the door by the handles of his chair. Sue had warned Billy, but still, he continued to ebb away at Logan. Sue knew Logan was a good man and he loved her daughter like no one could possibly dream of. He was tentative and loving, kind and adorably sweet. He was just what Leah needed.

No sooner had they both heard Billy clearing his throat, Logan timidly pulled his hands back and kissed Leah's swollen lips once more. He could see Leah's cheeks inflaming with a tinge of red, seeping all the way to the tips of her ears. Sighing Logan bent to softly kiss her ear and moved off his wife-to-be.

"Morning Sue. _Billy_" He said glumly to the end, watching as Billy grinned to himself for interrupting their exchange.

"Logan, how are you dear?" Sue smiled, walking over to him and embracing him in a warm hug.

"I'm fine Sue, yourself?" He smiled warmly, reaching out a hand to Leah and helping her up from the couch.

"All's good. The birthday boy is just arranging his cars in the new 'Transformer's' back pack Billy here got him" Sue laughed, turning her head to see Ethan of the front lawn tipping all of his cars out of the bag, and counting them one by one, placing them back into the bag.

"Ethan says it's the best present his ever gotten" Billy smiled smugly at Logan.

"Billy" Sue warned, flicking her wrist to signal he stop his immediate hostility.

"Yeah - well wait till he sees what me and Lee got him" Logan challenge back, glaring at the old man in the chair.

"Logan honey-" Leah sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up at him. "- could you please check on Ethan and help him bring his things inside" Logan knew it wasn't a question. Leah was well aware of the bad vibes between the two men both challenging each other the way Jacob and Sam used to when the Alpha's were in the same vicinity. It was childish and stupid but still they both rubbed each other the wrong way.

"Okay babe" He nodded, kissing her lips lightly, though never taking his eyes from the old man, who was now glaring at him. Smiling smugly Logan walked past both Sue and Billy to check on Ethan. He couldn't help but flaunt Leah in Jacob's father's face, showing him that she was with him. Where she belonged.

"Billy... you really have to stop doing that" Leah breathed, bending down to pick up the discarded plastic wrappers.

"Do what?" He said innocently holding up his hands, making Leah roll her eyes.

"I'm on to you Mr. Black" She frowned, heading towards the bin in the kitchen to discard the rubbish.

"That's Dad to you" Billy smiled, as she shook her head and dumped the rubbish in the bin. Washing her hands, Leah grabbed a tea towel and began to wipe the moisture from them.

"We've been over this Billy-" She started, only to be interrupted again.

"Leah - I know you think I am being unfair but-"

"Billy _please_... please don't try and apologise for Jacob. He made his choice. He did what he thought was right." Leah mumbled, feeling her face heat up in frustration. "He followed his heart after all"

"You know Jacob didn't want this Leah. You know if he could re-do anything in his whole entire life, he would be here with us now, fussing over the decorations with you."

"But he's not..." Logan's deep voice sounded from the doorway, his hand firmly holding on to a brightly smiling Ethan. "... and I am. So if it's not to much to ask, Mr. Black, please refrain from trying to convince my wife that your son is better than I am"

"She's _not _your wife" Billy arced up, glaring darkly at Logan as he let Ethan's hand slip from his.

"Come on honey" Sue whispered to Ethan, picking him up in her arms and carrying him up the stairs.

"What's happening Nanna? ... Ohhh look at all the balloons!" Ethan smiled clutching Sue's back and letting her carry him and his ten-pound car-filled 'Transformers' bag upstairs.

"But she _will _be" Logan spat once Sue had disappeared, moving to stand beside a nervous looking Leah.

"Over my dead body" Billy grumbled, turning away from the two as Logan possessively held Leah in his grips.

"That can be arranged" Logan breathed back, hearing Leah gasp.

"Enough... both of you. This has gone on much too long. Billy, I love you, Ethan loves you, so don't make me do something I'll regret and Logan... snap the hell out of it. This is Ethan's birthday and if you both can't be civil I won't have any qualms of kicking both of you out. Got it?"

Both mumbled a small apology and sulked like toddlers, Billy being the worst once she'd dragged Logan away and led him into the kitchen.

"Please don't do this, not today" Leah pleaded, cupping Logan's face in her hands and making him look down at her.

"I don't get it. He is adamant on destroying our happiness." Logan sighed, yielding to Leah's request and nodding.

Thanking him, she turned to begin washing the trays she'd used to make Ethan's birthday cake. Logan noticing the tension, wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, peeking to watch her soapy hands move over the trays.

"Are you mad?" Logan asked quietly, kissing her neck.

"No. I'm not mad, just... disappointed, I guess" Leah sighed, closing her eyes to feel Logan kiss her neck softly again.

"I'm sorry I ruined your day"

Placing the trays down in the soapy water, Leah breathed out a long breath and stared out through the small kitchen window, laying her arms over his. "It's not you Logan"

"What's wrong Leah? You look so tense, like someone has walked over your grave. You know you can tell me-" He whimpered, feeling her obvious pain.

"It's just - Jacob's moving back... to LaPush... and he is bringing Renesmee" She muttered, able to hide the hurt in her own voice. She didn't want Logan to know that the prospect of seeing Jacob with _her _everyday was eating her alive. She'd spent the last 5 years trying to forget him and now that she was finally moving on, now that she had Logan, his ring, his everything, Jacob was coming back to torture her.

Logan flinched with hurt as she spoke. He'd tried to ignore how she spoke in her sleep, how she'd muttered Jacob's name instead of his, how she'd become distraught when a package came, from Jacob and the Cullen's, for Ethan on his birthday's and Christmases. Leah still loved Jacob Black and he only hoped that she loved him more. He couldn't understand how she could still love the man that walked out on her, leaving her pregnant and to raise their child. He couldn't understand how any man could do such a thing... especially not to Leah.

"You still love him" Logan said in a low tone, pulling his hands from her waist to lean back against the bench. She knew it wasn't a question and even if it was, he already knew that answer.

Still looking out the window, she breathed in another shaky breath and turned slowly to him. "But I love you _more_." She said in a small voice, trying not to look at his hurt eyes and his crumpled face.

"If he didn't have Renesmee, would you take him back - if he asked you?" Logan huffed, crossing his arms against his chest, his eyes wandering over Leah's face.

Leah could feel his eyes boring into her face, watching for the hint of a lie. "No" She answered dryly, feeling her throat close up and her eyes start to burn.

"I see..." Logan sighed defeatedly and dropping his arms to his side, knowing Leah had just flat out lied to his face.

As he turned to leave the kitchen, Leah grasped his wrist, making him stop in his tracks. "What?" He deadpanned, trying to hold back the emotion his mind was littered in.

"Marry me" She whispered.

Turning around he looked at her with suspicious eyes, her own eyes pleading with him not to walk away. "What?" He asked again, turning towards her and brushing back a stray piece of hair that had fallen in her eyes.

"Marry me. _Tomorrow_. I love you Logan and I want to be with you, so please, marry me?"

"Are you sure? What about-"

Leah couldn't take it anymore, she quickly pressed her lips to his and kissed him hard, trying to show him that she wanted him and that she did truly love him. "I'm sure. Fuck the rules" She breathed heavily, watching as his frown turned into a small smile. "We'll just slip away tomorrow, go down to Forks, get married at the registrar and come home. No frills, no crying. Just me and you. We can invite Rachel and Paul to be our witnesses... they owe me one." Leah smiled, running her thumbs over his lips. "So marry me..."

Logan let his hands move to her throat, feeling the rapid pulse under her flesh. Lightly rubbing the arch in her neck, he kissed her again, feeling her pulse quicken under his fingertips. Pulling away he grinned widely at her, letting her already know the answer without speaking.

"_Yes_, I will marry you, Leah Clearwater."

* * *

"Urgh, I feel like a big balloon" Rachel frowned, rubbing her swollen belly while holding her back. "I don't see why you couldn't have waited a few more months... I mean come on! It's kinda disgusting to want a whale as your bridesmaid." She whined, tugging at the yellow cotton of her summer dress.

Leah laughed as she pulled another bobby pin from her mouth to pin up the dark tresses. "Shut up, you look great." Turning and sitting over on the bed, she patted the space next to her. Letting Rachel sit softly, Leah engulfed her in a huge hug before laying her hand on her best friend's stomach. "And you're not a whale... you're pregnant. Plus you're my witness, so no biggie."Leah smiled, rubbing against the tight cotton of Rachel's 8 month pregnant belly.

"Gah... I hate you!" Rachel huffed, watching as Leah rubbed soothing circles over her stomach. "Gawd, I wish I was a shifter" She huffed, rubbing her own back.

"Why in the world would you wish that?" Leah asked, dropping her hand and moving to pick up the simple dark blue cocktail dress from over the chair. She'd promised herself she would never wear white. She was far from pure and far from being a virgin, so it felt wrong to wear white.

"Hello? You were like what? A size 4 days after you popped Ethan out. You didn't even get stretch marks. There is a whole road map under this dress. Ethan could use my stomach to play with his cars on." She grumbled, trying to cross her arms over her chest to rest them over her stomach.

"Well that's what you get for getting freaky with a Meraz" Leah smirked, as she slipped on her dress and zipped up the side zip, running her hands down her body to try and press out any little creases.

"Hey now - don't forget, you're _also _marrying a Meraz... Eww... and you're getting just as freaky as me! At least you can see your toes... at least for now!" Rachel smirked back, watching Leah's mouth drop open. "That's right baby, don't think I haven't heard you in that big ole house of yours with your sexy husband-to-be. 'Oh Logan, right there baby, it's so big" Rachel laughed as she watched Leah's face heat up and turn into a tomato.

"You liar." Leah accused pointing her finger at Rachel. "I did _not _say that!"

"Whatever Mrs Meraz" Rachel teased, twirling a finger around the end of her pony tail playfully. "Oh baby, honey cakes, that's it, make me-"

"Rachel!" Leah shrieked, covering her ears only to see her lips still moving with a big fat grin on her face.

"Oh calm down. You should have heard Mum and Dad when I was younger. It still haunts me to this day"

"Gross" Leah whined, slipping on the simple cream coloured heels and checking that all her hair was pinned up nicely. "_so _- what do you think?" Leah asked twirling around to show Rachel the dress.

"It's perfect Lee." Rachel offered a small smile in her best friend and sister's direction. Letting a couple of tears slip she thought about how beautiful Leah looked and how much she wished that she was marrying Jacob today. It wasn't that she didn't like Logan, she adored him to bits. He was great with Ethan, he'd given up his baseball career and made not only a house with Leah but a home. He loved her with all of his heart, and that was as much as she could have ever wanted for Leah. It was like a catch 22. Right kind of love. Wrong man.

* * *

"So - you ready for this man." Paul asked sternly, helping Logan with his dark blue tie.

"Yeah man. I love Leah so much, it's actually kinda scary" Logan replied, grinning at his cousin.

"Good. I may be your cousin, but I will still kick your ass if you hurt her" Paul said dangerously with a glare.

"You don't have to worry about that. If there will be any hurting, you can bet it's coming from Leah" Logan chucked, trying to look in the mirror and shimmy his tie to the middle of his neck.

"So-" Paul started, grabbing his coat off the bed and slipping it on. "It wouldn't happen to be because you knocked her up right?" He asked suspiciously, wondering why the wedding was suddenly going forward in a shot gun inspired form.

"What? _No_. Geez Paul... " Logan frowned tucking a small Lily into his breast pocket.

"Hey just wondering... Does it have anything to do with Jacob coming back to town?"

Sighing, Logan placed an open palm against the mirror, closing his eyes tightly. Letting a few moments of silence surround them, he spoke "You know she still loves him? She told me she wouldn't take him back if he wanted her... but I know she was lying-"

Paul nodded and placed a hand on his cousin's shoulder, making him open his eyes and catch the sincere look on Paul's face. "You have _nothing _to worry about man. Jacob's not going to leave his imp- Renesmee. She's his whole world. Plus, I think you underestimate Leah's feelings for you. You've made her smile again man, she's actually happy with you. She may love Jacob, but she's _in _love with you." Drawing in a breath Logan nodded.

"Plus" Paul added with a sly grin on his face "Once you knock her up, Jacob Black won't have anything on you."

"What's with you and all this baby talk?" Logan chuckled, relieved at the lightness Paul had been able to change the mood to.

"I don't know man. All I can think about is bedding my wife and having some more kids with her. You should totally try it with a pregnant woman. Absolutely amazing. Rachel's like an animal, I swear that woman tries to jump me every chance she get's. My back kinda hurts, but my ego is _loving _it"

"I bet it is" Logan smiled, discreetly thinking of how beautiful Leah would look with the pregnancy glow Rachel seemed to have about her. Leah would be the most stunning pregnant woman ever, with her long black hair, her mesmerizing eyes, and gosh, that body. He'd loved to run his hands over her stomach, feeling everyday, how it would grow bigger, how her body would nourish their child to bring him to term. How he'd hold her hand when the contractions began and how he'd let her slap him and claw at him when she was in pain. How they'd both coo over the perfect little baby, with it's matted black hair and beautiful baby blues eyes that all children seemed to possess as it sat in Leah's arms, wrapped tightly in a cotton slip.

"Okay man. Time to head over to Forks. You ready to marry the woman of your dreams?" Paul asked, watching as Logan straightened the collar of his jacket.

"I've never been more ready in my entire life" He grinned, checking his reflection quickly and turning to head to the car.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

**PART l ELEVEN**

Pulling into the driveway of his father's little red house he smiled. It had been a long time in between drinks seeing his father and he had genuinely missed the old man. Pulling up the park brake, he stepped out of the Mercedes and stretched out his limbs. It had been a long drive and Nessie hadn't wanted him to go until they settled back into the house in Forks, but he thought that by seeing his father first he could maybe calm over some sore spots that had popped up in regards to his return.

Jacob knew that most of his old pack had re-joined with Sam's for the exception of Leah and Seth. He'd visited Seth in Seattle last fall when his first daughter was born. She was a strong little girl and her grip was impeccable. Jacob had smiled when Seth told him that the baby had been named after his mother Sarah, and he felt pride in knowing that his mother not only had an effect on him but others as well. He often wondered what his mother would think of him now that he was grown and he was trying to build a family of his own.

Stopping on the small porch he contemplated knocking but instead decided to surprise Billy. He told his father about moving back but he'd left the details of his return sketchy. Not that he knew the schedule anyway. Nessie and Bella were always planning and whispering which made a schedule pointless. They even began to irritate Alice who was already pissy about not being able to see the future with him there, but then when the two women decided to be impulsive it made her down right scary. Pissing off the midget Cullen wasn't good and Jacob more than often copped the flack.

Closing the front door softly Jacob walked into the living room to find the mid-morning football on, the TV blaring fairly loudly. The house smelled strange and he could feel a pull towards his old room. Maybe it was being back in LaPush that made the calm suddenly flush over him. Dragging a large intake of air to his lungs he cocked an eyebrow. The smell was irking at him and it reminded him of something he'd smelt before.

"Jacob?" Billy gasped behind him in a strange voice. Turning around Jacob was taken back by Billy's appearance. Being gone 5 years had not been kind to the old man. His hair was now almost salt and pepper grey and his face was a little more worn. The lines of time were starting to show and Jacob knew that leading the life he did, he would soon have to say good bye to his father. He always thought that living forever would be one of the most fulfilling things that he could ever do. He would be able to travel the world, do everything he'd ever wanted, be anything he wanted without the constraints of time. But like everything in his life, like every pro, there was a con. While he lived through the years unravaged by time, he would watch those around him slowly wither and disappear. He would have to bury everyone he knew, every one he met in the future. Friends, family, loved ones.

"Hey Dad" He smiled graciously, walking over and giving his father a large hug and noticing that it was not reciprocated. He could feel his father's body stiffen in the embrace so he pulled away to look down at his weary eyes. "Something wrong?" He asked softly while looking around the room and noticing everything looked pretty much the same. It looked cleaner and the living space had newer couches from when he'd last been in the home but everything seemed in order. The baby photos of him and his sisters were still hung on the wall, side by side and he shook his head a little at the baby photos and how they all seemed to still look the same as adults.

Clearing his throat, Billy hesitated before speaking "No - I mean - _no_, welcome back" He said kindly though not looking Jacob in the eye.

Smiling, Jacob slumped down into the couch and stretched out his arms. "Feels kind of strange to be back." He stated, watching as Billy wheeled himself towards the coffee table. Jacob had missed LaPush and he always wondered what it would be like when he and the Cullen's could finally come back. He wondered what things had changed while he was gone, whether people got married, had children and all that jazz.

"Really how so?" Billy asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Don't know. Just feels strange is all. So how have you been old man? It feels like ages since I've last seen you. You never wrote back to my letters and I was afraid you were dead or something"

"I had nothing to say" Billy grumbled pushing himself towards the kitchen to put on the kettle. His mood was slowly eating away and crawling to the surface. Billy wondered if the legends, the stories, everything; even mattered to Jacob. His son was supposed to be Alpha, chief; and yet, he'd abandoned not only his tribe and people but the family he had with Leah.

"Dad-" Jacob sighed, standing from the couch and wandering in after his father. "When is this going to stop? This thing between us. It feels like you keep pushing me away, I don't know-"

Cutting Jacob off Billy closed the cupboard door firmly as he retrieved a mug. "You _know _why I didn't write Jacob. You _know _why I didn't call. Stop acting like you are innocent in all of this. I didn't raise you to run off with our mortal enemies." Billy scolded keeping his eyes on the kettle.

"You think I wanted to imprint?" Jacob yelled at his father grinding his fist into the bench top. It was still a sore subject and he could barely think of her, let alone talk about it. "You think I wanted to leave you all behind? Follow a fucking family of vampires! I had no choice" Jacob growled feeling his body begin to shake. He was beyond pissed. As a council member his father was suppose to understand imprinting.

"_Don't _tell me about choice boy" Billy growled back wheeling himself away from his son.

"Oh really. That's original coming from you. The moment Sam imprints it's all butterflies and fucking dew drops, but when it's me-"

"Sam didn't have a child Jacob" Billy interrupted rubbing his hands over his eyes. Looking up at Jacob he grimaced "He didn't have a _son_" He said softer this time wanting the words actually sink in. "You ran away. You left LaPush, you left Leah here and you left your family. Some things are unforgivable Jacob and this is just one of those things."

"Leah didn't want me around. She wouldn't even let me see him!" Jacob roared bumping his knuckles down on to the bench top. His lungs were shaky and he tried desperately to suck in as much air as possible. It still hurt to think about Leah, much like it had always hurt. Even when he closed his eyes at night, while he lay in bed with his imprint, he saw Leah. The way her top lip would twitch when she slept and he was too close. When her hair was wet and hanging into her eyes, only to have him brush it out.

"Grandpa?" Ethan said quietly from the doorway with his hair a mess from sleeping and still wearing the pyjama's Leah had dropped him off in last night. Holding up his pack back he looked over the strange man standing in the kitchen with his grandfather. "Grandpa can you help me count my cars to make sure they are all still here?" He murmured rubbing his right eye.

"Sure buddy come and sit down at the table" Billy smiled, motioning for Ethan to take a seat.

Jacob stood staring at the little boy who began to tip out the contents of his bag on to the dinner table. "I just want to make sure they are all there because I had a nap and I was counting and then forgot the number"

Feeling the lump build in his throat he couldn't help but back slowly out of the small kitchen keeping his eyes trained. Leah hadn't wanted him to see Ethan but there he was. His shaggy black hair was in a mess and most of his teeth had now come through. Jacob's breath hitched as the little boy sat at the table and looked up at him with his big brown eyes. There was something so familiar about those eyes and he was sure they weren't Leah's.

"Jacob? _Stay_? _Please_-" Billy pleaded. "Spend time with him"

Shaking his head Jacob continued to back away until his heels clipped the door. His heart was racing and he could feel every single fiber in his body burning. The strings around his heart were constricting and reeling him back towards the mansion in Forks and away from the small red house. They were pulling at his legs to run back to his imprint and not to love this boy. A boy who he knew nothing about. A boy who he'd only just met. A boy who was _his_.

"I can't-" He whispered hoarsely feeling a wetness pool at the corner of his lip. Touching his hand to his face, he pulled back his fingers and noticed they were wet. It was a surprising fact considering the last time he'd cried was when he saw Leah. "I have to go-" He muttered, shaking his head and reaching for the door knob behind him.

* * *

"Before you - Logan, and you - Leah, are joined together in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these, your family and friends, I am bound, as you know, to remind you publicly of the solemn, the serious and the binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter.

Marriage, according to the law in Washington, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others and is voluntarily entered into for life." The celebrant began, standing at the head of the room while Leah and Logan held each others hand.

The room was fairly plain with it's grey carpet and white vases which was expected for a court house marriage. Not having the option of marrying in LaPush they both understood that this would be the best they could do for the time being.

Turning toward Rachel and Paul who were seated on the wooden bench the celebrant asked. "Are you willing _now _and _always _to support and strengthen this marriage by upholding both Logan and Leah with your love and support?"

"We are" They replied together as Paul rubbed Rachel's leg which was hoping on the spot from nerves.

"Logan would you like to go first?" The celebrant asked holding his binded book against his forearm.

Clearing his throat Logan nodded and then turned to the woman who meant everything to him. "Leah, from the moment I saw you I knew you were the one. There was this aura, something that I felt, something that drew me to you-"

"Bet it was her rocking body" Paul whispered to Rachel who replied by slapping the back of his head and telling him to shush.

"I want to be with you always. Just as you are. I choose you above all others. To share my life with me in marriage. I love you for yourself, and want you to become all that you can be. I promise to honour and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfilment as an individual. For the rest of my life." Giving her a small smile Logan spoke again. "My mother always said - Marry the girl that makes you feel like every day is the best day and it's only going to get better. With you Leah, I _know _it's only going to get better. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'll love you forever."

By the time Logan had finished his words he was holding her close and brushing the salty tears away from her cheeks. "I don't have a fancy education for you Logan; I don't have much to offer you. But I promise to love you every day a little more than I loved you the day before. I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love. I promise to respect and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage you, through all the changes in our lives.

The Quileute's believe it's not measure of the man, but the company he keeps-" Leah said smiling and pausing for effect. Leaning forward so just Logan, and no doubt Paul, could hear she whispered into his ear. "- if that is the case, you're definitely fucked honey" She giggled, kissing his ear and pulling back.

Wrapping his arms around her waist he grinned. "That better be a promise" He said huskily, his deep voice rumbling through her. Placing his hand in his pocket he retrieved the simple silver band and slipped it on to her finger. "Everyday" He whispered kissing her lips and running his hand gently down her neck.

"Always" Leah replied back taking the ring for Logan from Rachel who had waddled over. She kissed it quickly before slipping it on his finger.

"By the power vested in me from the state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife." The celebrant announced.

Paul couldn't help but to whoop and holler which earned him another glare from Rachel. "What?" He grinned leaning down to kiss his wife.

"Men" Rachel muttered turning away from the kiss and pushing Paul's face away.

"Ah come on babe, look at them. They deserve a little celebration." Paul pouted wrapping an arm around Rachel's shoulders.

"Yeah guess you're right" She sighed watching as Leah and Logan stood with their foreheads pressed and murmuring words of love to each other. Rachel couldn't help but picture the wedding Leah _should _of had with her brother, with the whole tribe surrounding them and her father grinning cheekily from the hand made altar that would have been made for them by their people.

"I love you Leah Meraz" Logan whispered cupping her face in his hands and rubbing his thumbs along the apple of her cheeks.

"I love you too Mr Meraz" She laughed kissing him quickly and thanking the celebrant.

After the married couple signed all the relevant papers and had Paul and Rachel sign as witnesses, Logan was wrapped up in quick hug by his cousin. "I'm proud of you man. You did good" Paul smiled, grasping both his wife's hand and Leah's to bring them into the hug.

"Paul we are not huddling" Leah laughed pushing him away. "This is not Sunday football"

"Come on Leah, stop wrecking my fun. It's a tradition in the Meraz family. The family get in a big huddle and share the love" Paul replied wiggling his eye brows.

"I swear if this baby is a boy I am going to throw myself off a cliff" Rachel muttered rubbing her belly. "Two Meraz men is enough"

"Don't be a spoil sport honey" Paul frowned, tugging her hand making her draw closer.

"Fine." Leah huffed throwing one arm over Rachel's shoulders and the other over Logan's.

"Now- I'd just like to start by welcoming Leah to the family. Leah you are now a Meraz and you have special privileges. One- You get a leg piece of the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner. Two- You get to learn the secret ingredient to our grandmothers fry bread and Three- You can _officially _have another kid."

Rolling her eyes Leah laughed and pulled away. "I think one is enough – for now."

Logan smiled at his wife and kissed her temple. "For now" He whispered, removing his arm from her shoulder's and dropping it to her waist. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever met and the most beautiful woman I will _ever _meet."

"Okay enough of this cheese" Paul murmured letting his arm drop to wrap his arms around his own wife. "Let's party"

"Uh oh" Rachel muttered her arm automatically flying to her stomach.

"What the hell?" Paul all but screamed, stepping away from Rachel feeling a wetness pool by his shoes.

"Looks like we have another impatient Meraz" She winced feeling a small contraction begin.

"Holy shit!" Leah exclaimed grabbing Rachel's hand and kicking the wetness off her heel which had also been damaged. "Now? It's coming _now_?"

"Yeah -" Rachel replied giving her a small pain induced smile. "I always did have bad timing"

"Alright let's get you to the car" Paul said hurriedly ready to whisk his wife off her feet and carry her to the car.

"I can walk you know" She replied frowning and trudging in the puddle. "This is so gross" Rachel whined noticing the big smile on her husband's face. "Don't smile too much Paul, I have a feeling that you are going to be screamed at, hit and plain old abused."

"I can deal honey. Come on. Let's meet our baby." He said proudly leading Rachel out the doors carefully.

"Logan wait-" Leah whispered pulling him back into an embrace. "You go with them in Paul's car and I'll take the other to get Billy and Ethan"

"Are you sure?" Logan replied rubbing his palms up and down her upper arms. "I can go and get them if you want. I am sure Rachel will need you"

"I'll be quick okay?" Leah smiled kissing him softly. "In and out. No distractions"

"Fine" Logan huffed letting a grin break through. "I'll see you there?"

"Yes now go before Paul gets behind the wheel and does a burn out in the car park"

"I always told him I was a better driver!" Logan said proudly while Leah rolled her eyes.

"Don't be too proud. Anyone compared to Paul is a better driver. Now go. I promise I'll be quick."

"I love you" Logan sighed softly as he stepped out of her embrace and headed through the doors.

"More than you'll ever know" Leah breathed as she watched him step out of the room and catch up to Rachel and Paul.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

**PART l TWELVE**

Leah hoped out of the car in such a hurry she didn't even notice the hundred thousand dollar car parked to the side of the house. Rachel was going into labour as she hoped that she had enough time to get Billy to the hospital before his daughter gave birth to her first child. She'd barely been married an hour and there was already chaos surrounding her life. She could help but smile thinking about how much Rachel would be screaming at Paul at this very minute with each sudden contraction that squeezed down inside of her.

Hiking her dress up higher so her long legs could move faster, she bounded up the front steps. Instead of knocking, not that she needed too, she reached for the handle and pulled it open fully. She hadn't noticed the large male body until she ran into it all but bouncing off the rippled muscles under the shirt that stood before her.

"Goddamn it Embry – move" She scolded trying to push past the brick wall. It wasn't until a scent reached her nose that she froze. His jagged breathing was ringing in her ears and she could hear the rattle of his heart inside his chest.

_One, one, two, three._

It was a rhythm she remembered, a rhythm no matter how hard she tried to – couldn't forget. The rhythm she used to mimic with her fingers as they tapped against his chest in the darkness of the night.

Her eyes shut tightly trying to block him out, trying to stop herself from looking up at him. Up into those eyes. His eyes. It was too much to bare, too many memories, memories that were lost, gone, ripped away, burnt and only held together by ash. It was the ash she'd tried to dust away from her heart, tried so hard to dust into the little box under her bed with the rest of her past.

It was a snap judgement and in those few seconds when she'd opened her eyes, there he stood. His hair was cut short and neatly. His lips were still they way she remembered, the way they'd been since he was a boy. His face was clean shaven and he looked every bit the same as he had the day he left her. The day her left _them_. He was the same, the same man she fell in love with. The same man – in many ways – she still loved.

She could feel her body pulse and the gravity of his eyes were drawing her closer. She'd barely made it half way around him and she hadn't noticed the hand that had tried to push him out of her way was now flattened out and pressed against his shoulder. Though not moving, she could feel the heat soaking through his button down shirt into her hand. She didn't have the courage to leave her hand against him yet she didn't have the heart to move it.

"Jacob wait-" Billy called out as he wheeled himself into the living room, his chair almost coming to a screeching halt as he saw Leah frozen solid looking up at his son.

Jacob couldn't breath. His lungs had been squeezed out of his chest and all he could see was her. _Leah_. The Leah who would he'd fallen in love with. The Leah that had meant more to him than his own worthiness or happiness. She was the girl that loved him by choice, not because some magic had tied them together, not because he'd been in love with her mother. She was the same girl who'd stolen his breath away as they'd danced themselves stupid at his homecoming dance when Bella had refused him and gone back to her leech.

"Leah-" He breathed his eyes glazing over as her energy seemed to run through his whole body just from the touch of her hand. Before he could tell her how much he'd missed her, how he'd though of her every night, how he'd dreamed she'd touch him again, talk to him, whispering in the fleeting rays of the sun as it slowly dropped into the abyss – he felt that familiar pain. The pain that stung in his chest, the pain that was always dully throbbing every time he was away from _her_.

Leah shook her head stepping backwards and snatching her hand away him as quickly as it had landed there. Her mind was clouded as she continued to back away from him. He was still staring at her and she hated it. He still looked at her like she meant something. Something more than just being the woman he left. The one he'd left for dead. The one he'd built up so high that in the end she was left to crash and burn - all on her own.

Jacob bent slightly, widening his eyes and grasping the front of his shirt. He knew what was happening. How the chains refused to cease, how they refused to let him to even reminisce their time without punishing him. He was bound, bonded, chained – to a woman who was not the one he would have died for.

"Mummy" Ethan giggled holding up his yellow corvette and waiving it in the air to grab Leah's attention. She tried to move as quickly as possible, distancing herself from her Alpha before she started to see spots. They were clouding her sight and she could see her son standing there, out in front of her, only four feet away.

It was coming on too fast and she couldn't keep up with the thrum that her heart beat against her chest. The spots were slowly spreading and turning into a blanket of darkness over her eyes. With one more step she felt the weightlessness take over and all she could feel was the sensation of falling.

Jacob watching her curiously as she slowed was quick to react when her body folded underneath her. He'd caught her arm and quickly steadied her by the waist as he attempted to drag her to the couch.

"Leah!" Billy yelled worriedly as Jacob laid her down gently and pressed his ear against her chest. He could hear her heart drumming wildly and it was only out of instinct that he checked her pulse as well, not really believing that she had just fainted.

"She's okay for now but we need to get her to a hospital. Her heart is beating it's way through her chest." Jacob said, sliding his arms under her knees and lifting her to his chest. He could have called an ambulance but given their location and her family history of having heart problems, he knew time was of the essence "Wait here guys. I'll get her in the car and then come back." Jacob commanded, moving swiftly out of the door and to the car.

He was almost in panic mode, moving faster than he'd ever moved before, in both human _and _wolf form. He tried to be careful to make sure she didn't shift too much, make sure she was comfortable in his arms. It was strange having her so close after all this time. Having her breath shallowly fanning across his chest, smelling the sweet flowery perfume of her hair. He had to fight off the urge to bury his nose in her hair and take a giant breath, not breathing it out but swallowing it, to try and hold on - to remember at least something.

"Come on Dad. Let's go" Jacob huffed as he stormed back inside to find Ethan looking curiously at him, his backpack on the wrong way around as it hung from his front. The kid was cute, but he felt a little awkward at the obvious deja vu he was feeling.

"Ethan, follow Jacob out to the car while grandpa calls Nana Sue. I'll have her pick me up Jacob. _Go_"

Nodding his head Ethan walked towards Jacob and held up his hand for the giant man to take, wiggling his fingers. Billy had already departed the room hurriedly to call Sue and Jacob felt trapped.

"My mum says that I have to hold a big person's hand when we go walking." Ethan grinned wiggling his fingers again.

Jacob looked down at the boy and smiled. Sure it was strange looking at a tiny version of himself but he kind of liked it. Grabbing the little boy's hand they hurried to the car.

He wasn't sure if he should be letting the kid ride shot gun, but he buckled him in anyway and peeled out of the dirt driveway. His nerves were shot to shit as he glanced back every three seconds to check on Leah through the rear view mirror. She looked so peaceful, her long black hair sprawled out on the leather of the seat and her dark dress ruffled and creased. He remember the way he used to wake sometimes in the middle of the night and just look at her as she slept. Every time he had to fight off the urge to gently run his fingers down her face to make sure she was real - to make sure that it all wasn't just in his head.

"My name is Ethan" The little boy said, distracting Jacob from his constant worrying thoughts over Leah. "I am five" He said excitedly holding up five little fingers. "My mum's says I am gonna be six real soon and then I can get a bike. But my grandpa says he is going to get me a quad bike like my dad had when he was small like me."

Jacob felt his throat dry up and his voice leave him. It had been five years - five long, agonizing years without her, without the life they should have lived together, without the little boy she was forced to raise without him.

"Is my mum asleep?" Ethan frowned as he looked over his shoulder towards his unconscious mother.

"Yeah kid, she's just sleeping. She's had a long day" He signed running a hand over his face and trying to lie as best as he could.

"Sometimes I sleep in the car and then Logan carries me to my car bed when we get home. Did you know I have a car bed?" Ethan's eyes were shinning and the kid had his exact same attention span. "Do _you _have a car bed? They are cool. My Nana says I am the coolest pre-schooler ever. Did you know she has a green car? She says it's called a 'frog' car"

Jacob couldn't help but chuckle at Ethan. "Yeah I know the one. I used to have a rabbit car, you know?"

"Really?" Ethan asked with wide eyes. "Did it bounce too?"

"Sometimes" Jacob replied shrugging his shoulders, remembering all of the times he had to jump start the old piece of shit.

"I want a rabbit car too." Ethan grinned as he unzipped his bag and fished around inside for what he was looking for.

"What you got there kid?"

"I have my cars. Mummy said that my daddy loved cars but he didn't love me enough to come to my birthday parties. I thought that maybe if I had lots and lots of cars, that my daddy would come back and help me blow out my candles on my cake." Ethan's voice turned low as he swung his bare feet over the edge of the seat.

Jacob's grip on the steering wheel tightened as he thought over what Leah had told their son. Even though it was true, he was pissed off. How could she say that he loved cars more than Ethan? How could she let the kid think such a thing? "She told you that?" Jacob asked, trying to keep his voice level and not allow any anger to seep out.

"She didn't say it but I know. She showed me his shed. All the tools and the cars he built. I wanted him to love _me _like the cars. She said he used to work on them every day. But he never comes to see me. Maybe one day - I could be a car. Then my daddy would spend every day with me and we could go to the beach and play group together."

Jacob had no words for the little boy as he sat fiddling with the zip of his bag. He was a terrible person, father, what ever he wanted to call himself. He'd not only broken Leah's heart but broken his son's as well. "I'm sure your father loves you very much kid" He smiled a little, ruffling Ethan's hair. "And trust me when I say, your dad wanted to be there"

Pulling into the hospital emergency area Jacob dashed out of the car and called over a couple of doctors who wore standing just inside the door conversating. "Help! I need help!"

Leading the doctors out to the car, he pulled Leah from the car and placed her in the bed they had dashed over to the vehicle. "What happened?" The taller, red haired male asked as he took her pulse.

"She was - she fainted - and I -" Jacob blurted out as he stood with his hands on his head, letting the doctors look over her.

"Her heart is 150 over 80. We need to get her inside" The red head doctor said to the other as he left the pulse in her neck. "We have to get her heart rate down before she goes into cardiac arrest. "

Moving out of the way, Jacob watched as they wheeled her inside. "FUCK!" He yelled as he gripped the ends of his short hair. His world was buzzing, everything was slowing down and he felt like he was about to drop to his knees and run away from it all. This was not supposed to happen. All he wanted to do this morning was check in with the father and now - Leah was, the way she was, because of him and he had a kid in his care.

Ethan tapped on the window, looking worriedly at Jacob most probably wondering where his mother was being taken.

"Black?" A dark voice hissed out, followed by the heavy footsteps of a stride he knew well.

"Meraz?" He questioned, wondering why he was at the hospital with an overnight bag over his shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Paul sneered as he looked over Jacob and glanced at the now empty doorway. A light tap on the door made Paul's eyes snap to the expensive car and his eyes almost shot out of his head. Inside was little Ethan waiving like a maniac. "What the-" He breathed stepping forward to open the car and hoist his nephew into his arms.

"Uncle Paul" Ethan sung happily as he pulled on his collar. "Guess what? Mummy was sleeping and we brought her here to rest. Where is Rachy? Is the baby here yet? Does the baby want some cars?"

"It's okay buddy." Paul replied kissing the little boys forehead. "Your aunt Rachel is getting ready to have the baby, but it's not here yet. You made it just in time" He smiled, before shooting a dark glance at Jacob.

"What happened to Leah?"

"She fainted - I was at Dad's - Sue and him will be here soon." Jacob replied, returning the glare. "What the hell did you do to my sister?" He growled, balling his fists to his sides.

"Uncle Paul and Aunt Rachy are making me a cousin!" Ethan clapped. "Do you have cousins?"

"I suggest you leave Jacob. If you know what's best for you" Paul growled back as he turned and walked towards the sliding doors of the hospital. Ethan waved excitedly back at him and all he could do was wave back. He knew he wasn't welcome here, this wasn't his family anymore. He didn't have a right to see if Leah was okay and he didn't have the heart to see the sister he'd also left behind. Taking a deep breath, he nodded to himself, knowing what to do.

They may not have wanted him around but he had to make sure everything was okay.

* * *

Logan sat beside his wife, her hand laying inside his own as he kissed her hand and rubbed her forearm. She was okay now, but that son of a bitch had almost given her a heart attack. It took everything inside of him not to beat that stupid asshole down once he'd walked into the waiting room. It had been a day and a half and Rachel had given birth to a perfect little boy who they named Miko Emmanuel Meraz. He had ten tiny little toes and ten tiny little fingers. He was beyond perfect.

The only thing that wasn't perfect was that Leah still hadn't woken up and the longer she lay in the bed, the more distraught Logan felt. His life was lying in that bed, his whole world, and not even if he wanted to, could he leave her side.

He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up knowing that the man that had done this to her - to them - was still sitting in the waiting room, his day old clothes looking just as wrinkled and unironed as his own.

Kissing Leah's wedding ring he sighed as he placed his cheek on her thigh, willing her to wake up through his touch.

Though deep down inside he couldn't bare to think of her face once he told her what the doctors had told him. His heart was hurting, the wound still fresh inside him. It would only get worse once _she _found out. She would cry and hit him, tell him that it's not true, that it couldn't be. Through the tears and screaming he would hold her, crawl into the bed and let her pull at his clothes, scratch him, ask him to make it stop, tell him he was a liar. He would try and take the pain away.

They'd lost their baby. Neither of them even knew she'd been pregnant. The doctors had said that she'd only been four weeks along and that sometimes it happened.

It just happened they said. Like it didn't mean anything. Like they hadn't been trying secretly for the last couple of months for a tiny miracle of their own. Like 'it happens' was any kind of reason for them to lose their child.

Of course they both had Ethan, who Logan loved with all his heart, he'd been there since he was a baby - it was just that they wanted to extend their family. Have more happiness shine on them. Make their house into a real home, filled with the sound of tiny feet, with Christmas mornings full of smiles, the skinned knees from learning to ride a bike.

Feeling a tear drop down his face he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, not hearing the other person slip in the room.

"You should get some rest" Sue whispered, rubbing his shoulders to try and ease some of his pain. She was heartbroken knowing that her daughter would be hysterical when she woke up from what had happened - what they'd lost. Leah was strong - so strong, but Sue knew _this _would crush her. Along with Jacob returning to the area, she knew her daughter wouldn't be able to handle much more. Leah was a fighter but still so much like that lost little girl she once was. She'd need her family to make it through this - and they would be there. Like they had been once before.

"I can't" Logan sighed kissing Leah's palm and laying her arm back down on the bed. "Every time I close my eyes - I see _her_. She's five years old just like Ethan. Her hair is braided and she'd sitting in the sand waiting for her daddy to come and play with her. She has my eyes Sue. She has my god damn eyes" He sobbed, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. "I see her, and I can't save her"

"Shhh now" Sue whispered as she stroked her son in laws hair. "It's going to be okay Logan. You and Leah love each other so much. You'll get through this together"

"How?" He asked as he whimpered into his hands.

"One step at a time honey. One foot in front of the other" Sue's heart broke as she felt Logan's arms wrap around her tightly, not wanting to let go, wanting to find an answer to why they had lost something so special. "It's going to be okay" She whispered, running her hands up and down his back. They were the only words she could offer, the only condolence she could give a grieving would-be father.

Leah's pain would not be this easy. She would not wear this lightly. Her daughter would be in hell.


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

**PART l THIRTEEN**

Their home was a tomb. There was no cheerful laughter, no soft giggles that resounded through the normally happy home. No smiles beamed off the faces of the newly married couple as there should have been. Not even a single toy lay scattered on the ground to trip up on or for Leah to clean up.

She'd already done it all. She'd cleaned the house until her hands hurt and her knees were skinned but still she continued with no intention of stopping. She couldn't stop, she had to keep herself busy.

After mopping the kitchen, vaccuming the bedrooms, cleaning the bathrooms and wiping down the windows, she settled in to sort out and go through all of Ethan's clothes, throwing out some of the unsavable items and packing the rest in plastic bags for Rachel and their new... addition.

She still hadn't willed herself to leave the house and still hadn't seen Miko; her best friend's baby, her packmate's son and Ethan's blood cousin.

Everytime she tried to convince herself to go and visit the house Rach and Paul had gotten from Paul's grandmother after her passing, she cringed back and didn't feel well. It felt like everyone was watching her, like everyone knew what had happened. With their judging eyes and their smiles she wanted to lunge at them, press down on their laranx and watch them wither beneath her hands, much how she felt they were doing to her.

Rachel had even tried to come by once she was released from hospital, Miko strapped tightly to her in a baby sling across her chest. With Logan out for the day, Leah was forced to lock the doors once Paul's truck appeared up the driveway, and she quickly hid in her closet until she heard the tyres of the old Ford pull away. She was purposely avoiding Rachel. She so desperately didn't want to be that person that couldn't be happy for her best friend, but there was only so much she could handle. Looking at Miko would just remind her of what Logan and her had lost.

What _she had lost._

'I know you're in there Leah' Rachel had breathed, her forehead against the door. After a small sigh of defeat, Rachel would place her palm flat against the door and wonder how far this had pushed her best friend this time. How much closer she was to being gone forever. 'I guess I'll come back then'

Sitting in the closet with her arms wrapped around her legs and her head on knees is exactly where Logan had found her four hours later after Rachel's near visit. He didn't have to ask what had happened, he merely picked her up from the capreted floor and pulled her toward the bed, laying her down across his chest so he could hold her. Ethan had begun spending more and more time with his grandparents, even Charlie had minded him a couple of nights while Sue attended the Tribal council meetings.

It had been hard for Logan too. Everytime he touched Leah like she was his wife, she would slink away or find an excuse to leave the bedroom. More often than not she would burst into tears before he could even pull her top over her stomach. He didn't want to push her, he wanted her to be okay, so he would pull her shirt back down, kiss her lips and try his best to fall asleep. There were many nights he merely stared up at the ceiling, his arm over his head on the pillow, trying to devise ways to help his wife.

She'd already turned down some classes in Forks where parents went to receive counselling after losing a baby, stating she was fine. Logan new better but he had no idea what to do.

Sitting indian style on the bed Leah folded a tiny green jumpsiut of Ethan's. Her fingers trembled as she pulled it up to her cheek and brushed the soft material against her skin. She could still remember when Ethan was a baby. So new, so perfect. His big curious eyes wandering around the room, those tiny fists he'd make, the way he clutched her necklace and sucked on anything he could when he was hungry-

Letting out a god awful sob, Leah dropped her face to the bed spread and let her sadness and anger pour out. Screaming face down into the covers, she fisted the material desperately trying to muffle the sound. She didn't understand why something like this could happen to her? Things like this. Things that seemed to keep happening. Everything she touched became tainted, everything around her was being ripped apart. She couldn't bare to have Logan touching her, she couldn't hug her own son, she couldn't breathe-

Shooting up out of bed, she tore down the stairs and snatched a coat off the railing. Tearing open the hallway door she retrieved the steel baseball bat Logan had used in the last game he ever played. She was blind with rage as she pulled the keys from the bench, not even bothering to find shoes.

Within seconds she was out the door and throwing the bat into the back of the pick up and tearing out the drive.

Her fingers slid around the steering wheel with an effortless motion as she rounded each turn at almost double the allowed legal speed. She didn't bother stopping for red lights opting to continue hammering through the small town. Her long black hair flew wildly in the wind and she didn't for a second take her eyes off the road. She had something to do, her mind set, the stations of her nuclear heart preparing for the melt down phase.

This was going to be the last time Jacob Black took anything from her.

* * *

The car window of the expensive car smashed effortlessly as she swung the metal bat into the perplexed glass. No doubt the Cullen's had given it to him, using it as bait to keep him happy for their demon child.

She contemplated the shocked looked on all their stone cold face once they saw their gift to him. She was going to make sure the expression would not be forgotten.

"Fuck you Black" She snarled as she lifted her bare foot and made contact with the car's side mirror; kicking it and making it skitter across the grass.

Swinging the bat around again like a pro ball player, she hoisted it high over her shoulders and slammed it into the driver's side window watching the spray of glass shoot back into the car, covering almost every inch of the black leather. "Come out here and face me you bastard" She screamed, taking the bat to a low angle and popping a dent right in the back door.

Even after she'd been released from the hospital he hadn't had the balls to come by and apologise. It was his fault after all. Him showing up after all this time hurt her. She knew of course he was coming back but she hadn't anticipated slamming straight into him.

_Asshole._

There hadn't even been a 'I'm sorry Leah. Sorry I fucked up your life again. Instead of giving you a son, I'll take one away.'

No.

There hadn't been anything. Not a call, a tiny little note left on her window; nothing.

"You come out here a face me like a man" Her voice was hoarse, her hands shaking around the bat as she gripped it again and smacked it right into the hood of the car.  
It was really taking a beating yet she didn't feel in the slightest bit happier.

Even with Leah's recent retirement from being wolf, she felt the power still left idiling in her bones, the power the had lay there since she was born. A born protector.

_Ha - Let's see you protect this._

Swinging the bat to slam against the passenger side window, she left the momentum suddenly stop. Pulling at the bat, it still didn't move - and as soon as she looked up and over her shoulder, she found a very angry looking Alpha wolf snarling at her, his teeth bared.

"Are you insane?" Jacob yelled as he tugged the metal bat from her clutches. Her oversized coat and her bare feet definitely made it seem like she'd totally lost her mind. Her eyes looked wild and the sneer on her face reminded him of when she was ten years old and he and Seth had broken yet another of her china dolls.

"Give it back" She growled, clawing at his arms as he held it above his head so she couldn't grasp it again. "Now. Give it back. NOW" she wanted to jump on his back and beat him senseless and within an inch of his life.

"No. Not until you calm down" Jacob's eyes were black with fury as he looked over his one hundred thousand dollar car. She'd literally reduced it to scrap metal in the space of thirty seconds.

He'd heard the first smash but thought nothing of it as he showered, but after the yelling started he knew who it was; there could only be one person with enough guts to challenge him. He'd only managed to tug on a pair of black basketball shorts before dashing out the door to save her from destroying anything else... including herself.

Reaching out to grab her forearm, Leah ripped her arm away so fast she almost spun. "Don't you dare touch me. Don't you _ever touch me. Not ever. I trusted you"_

"What the hell is wrong with you, woman?" He snarled through clenched teeth, his body vibrating with the need to phase and rip apart anything - everything. She always seemed to have the power to unleash the wolf inside him.

Without thinking, he pushed her back as she attempted to reach for the bat again, her foot catching on some glass and her body failing to the ground like a limp rag doll.

Before he could help her up and apologise for pushing her too hard, she dug her palms into her eyes and began to tremble.

At first he was ready to subdue her if she phased and lunged at him, but once her smelt the air, he knew she wasn't going to phase.

Her heart squeezed inside her chest as she sobbed on the glass riddled grass not caring that it was cutting into her skin. She was already in pain, pain that could blind a person, pain that came for deep within - along with a great self hatred she hadn't felt since her daddy died. Since she killed him.

Murderer.

"Lee? Leah - Jesus Christ" Jacob softened automatically, slowly picking her up and moving her to a clear patch of grass. He could smell her blood, hear her whimpering in the back of her throat - feel her pain. It was funny how after all of this time he could still be so in-tune with her. When Logan demanded that Jacob leave that day at the hospital he knew something was wrong but still he left. It wasn't particularly pleasant having Sue Clearwater scowl at him from across the waiting room anyway.

"I want to die" She announced hoarsely on a whisper, the front of her shirt darkened from her tears as she tried to wipe her face.

Jacob not knowing what to do, crouched down and cupped her face, brushing the hair from her eyes. That soft silky wild hair that he'd missed the touch of every night, missed how his fingers would slide through her thick mane. "Lee - don't talk like that. Don't you ever say that to me. Not ever" He breathed out a sigh, trying to pull her into his arms.

Like lightning she began slapping him away, pushing at his chest and squirming away from him. "I hate you Black! It's all your fault. You and those bloodsuckers you love so much. Why did you come back here? Why couldn't you just stay away?"

Jacob grasped her wrists in his hands, holding them out in front of them both, as she tried to claw his eyes out. "I have no clue what you are screaming about Le-"

"THE BABY" She sobbed, her arms going limp in his hold, her headed hanging down as she began to sob again.

"What baby?"

Leah screamed in a rage getting up from the ground, snatching the bat from the grass and stomping toward the car she had arrived in. Jacob Black may have been a lot of things but she'd never thought he could be this blaze'. She wanted to use the bat and smash it across his face to show him just how much it hurt. How much his mere existence was killing her.

"What goddamn baby?" Jacob yelled after her, rising to his feet and stalking in the same direction. He watched as Leah tore out of the driveway before he could reach her, leaving him standing clueless, shrouded in a cloud of dust and nothing more.

* * *

"Hello?" Rachel said into the phone as she wedged into the crook of her neck. Stiring the bottle a little more in the pot of hot water she was thankful that Paul had run out to get some more formula. Little Miko was like a garbage disposal. His big brown eyes were watching her from the bassinet he was in, his little fist shoved in his mouth and sucking on it for dear life. Babies sure did drink a lot of formula and she'd almost forgotten that Ethan had been the same.

"Hey Rach... It's Jake"

"Oh" She replied with a tinge of disappointment. There had been a slither of hope that it would be Leah on the other end of the line, calling to tell her she wanted to see her new nephew. It had been close to a month and a half and Leah still remained in that house, hauled up like prison of her own doing. "Hang on a sec, Miko wants his dummy" She sighed, running the little boys tummy under the tap and replacing his fist with it. His eyes instantly lit up as his small lips puckered around the plastic teet. "Okay speak"

"Is the little guy okay?"

"Yeah. Why you asking?" She frowned as she tucked a little tuft of hair behind Miko's ear. He'd had a small cold the other day but after some baby Panadol and 18 hours of sleep his was fine.

"Leah was here earlier-"

"WHAT! Wait, what do you mean she was there? As in there, the Cullen's, there?" She shook her hand angrily, moving towards the tap to run cold water over her finger that had slipped and touched the heated water of the pot.

"Yeah. And she was screaming about a baby, so I thought-"

Rachel visibly cringed "Dad didn't tell you?" Of course he would have assumed she was talking about Miko. Jacob didn't know about the miscarriage.

"I haven't seen Dad in weeks."

"Oh" She replied in a small voice. She didn't want to have to tell Jacob anything. It didn't feel right telling him something so intimate. She'd hoped her father would have told him before he started to ask any questions but obviously that was not the case.

"Yeah oh" He replied flatly. "What the hell is going on Rach?" Jacob could hear the hesitation in Rachel's voice as if she was holding out on something he should know. He'd been around his twins sisters enough to know when there was something going on. When they were teenagers he used to watch as they squirmed under their fathers gaze about where exactly they were going on Saturday nights and _whom they were going with._

"Did Leah say anything else?"

"Well in between smashing up my car and crying on the lawn, that was all I really got"

"Shit" She supposed now that she would have to be the one to tell her baby brother about Leah.

"Rach what's wrong? You need to tell me"

Combing her hands through her hair she groaned. "That day - when Miko was born and Leah came to get Dad-"

He remembered that day. She ran in to him like a bat out of hell and even thought he was Embry for a split second. Jacob needed to egg on Rachel's admission otherwise she might have closed up and decided not to tell him at all "Yeah I was there"

"She collapsed" She continued, her heart speeding up a little as she remembered the day. The labour pain she was in that day only lasted a few hours, however Leah's pain was going to last much much longer than that. She remembered Paul sitting on the one seater sofa when she woke, Miko is his arms and tears running down his face. Paul may have been a pain in the ass, strong headed and a Casanova wannabe, but after seeing him cry for their child, she knew out of everything, she loved him more than any man.

When she asked Paul if Leah and her Dad had arrived Paul walked over with Miko and lay the tiny boy on her chest. She marvelled and cooed at their son but still she listened to him. He explained how Leah had been pregnant, lost the baby and that she was currently under the watchful eye of Logan and the doctors. She could admit though, that when Paul told her, she hugged her little boy just a fraction tighter. She couldn't begin to understand that kind of pain. Her little boy was in her arms, his black hair curled in tufts and his little pink lips suckling the ends of his fingers.

"Right - did they ever find out what was wrong?"

It would have been better to jump of a cliff, she thought as she drew in a long gust of air. "She was pregnant. She kind of - lost - the baby"

"Pregnant?" He breathed, his eyes widening in realisation. In an instant his mind crashed around him and he slumped back into the antique leather chair. Now he partially understood why she was screaming, upset and distraught. Just taking one look at his car he could tell how much pain she was in.

"The doctors said that her heart went into shock and her body began to fight against the baby. The moment she saw you - well - her heart - she isn't okay."

Jacob's teeth pinched against his bottom lip with so much force he swore he could taste blood. "Why the hell didn't anyone tell me?" His voice boomed into the reciever, almost deafening Rachel.

"I thought Dad was going to tell you" His sister replied hurriedly.

Running a hand through his hair and tugging the ends out of frustration, Jacob forced himself to calm down.

Breathe.

"Is she - how has she been? What did the doctors say about her heart?"

"I don't know. She wont see me. She won't even see Miko. I think it hurts too much and it's just too soon. She's not well Jake. Logan said she barely eats and she can't even hug or look at Ethan. She won't talk to anyone. Not me. Not Sue. Not even her husband. I don't know what to do - how to help" Rachel's eyes began to water and she fought against the impeding tears as she blinked rapidly.

"What about Seth? Surely he could talk some sense into her?"

"Seth hasn't been around for five years Jake. Last time he called was three years ago." Jeez - her brother could be so stupid sometimes. Seth was too busy enjoying his imprint and their own little family to be tied up in Leah's affairs, let alone anyone's on the Rez. It hurt Leah more than she led on. Seth wasn't her brother any more, but merely a memory. A memory of a time when things were simple. Rachel knew that to Leah - Seth was as good as dead.

"Shit!"

"Yeah - look I gotta go. Paul's home and we are going to Dad's" Biting her lip she knew she should ask. After all, her and Jake had been trying to mend bridges and be a family again. She knew he was having a much harder time with a certain hybrid on his ass, asking were he went each time he left the house. It couldn't hurt right? "Maybe it wouldn't hurt if you came by? You know, hung out like old times?"

Her voice was meek and unsure but Jacob heard it loud and clear. His heart squeezed a little in his chest but he brushed it off immediately. Maybe somehow moving back was going to restore the estranged Black family and push them together again. He loved his sister's, his father, Ethan and even Leah. So being invited to something as personal as dinner, he couldn't nor wouldn't pass up.  
"Sure Rach. Like old times"

As he hung up the phone he suddenly realized why Leah had done what she did to his car. His throat dried and it felt like his breath had left him.

She blamed him for the loss of the baby.

* * *

Sitting on the couch, with a throw rug over her lap Leah stared at the little boy in front of her. He was belly down on the carpet, hands flailing as he sped with two little cars along the mat, making the sounds of engines with his mouth. His hair was getting longer now and she could see that the features he held of herself were starting to dissipated. He was going to be the splitting image of his father and that somehow didn't sit well with her.

He was going to turn into a mean, evil, conniving bastard like his father. He was going to grow up and wreck lives like his father had. He was going to tear her heart out and feed it to the ocean.

"Mummy, will you play with me?" Ethan asked over his shoulder, as he looked up to his mother. As usual she was staring at him with her beautiful brown eyes. Lately though, it hadn't been with a smile and he wondered if he had done something wrong to her? Was he a bad boy? Did his mummy not love him anymore? Nana Sue had said his mummy still loved him but he still hadn't heard her say it.

Only allowing a small non convincing smile, Leah answered. "Not tonight honey"

Ethan pouted and kicked his legs not understanding. Logan always played with him, with his cars. Logan took him to play basketball and had shown him how to pitch a baseball "But mumma, you never play with me anymore."

Rolling her eyes and throwing off the small throw rug she got to her feet. Perhaps she was going crazy but it felt like no one listened any more. Every time she said no, it was like they heard yes. Why couldn't they just all do as they were told and leave her alone. She was so sick of people - everyone of them - and she could barely contain her anger.

"It's time for a bath"

"I don't want a bath, I want to play." Ethan pleaded as he sat up and looked up at his mother. Her hands were rolled into fists and it looked like she was silently counting as she took deep breaths and closed her eyes.

Leah was trying so hard to keep the rage that was swirling inside her in. She felt like the anger was sending it minions to her, all of them lapping at her spine and making her body crawl. "God damn it Ethan, can you just listen to me for once. Just one time! I give you everything you want and still you want more. I can't give you any more than I have."

Her son instantly cringed away and hugged the cars to his chest.

He didn't mean to make his mummy upset at him. He hated when her and Logan would fight. It seemed that it was becoming more frequent than ever before. He had been scared but now - being the centre of her anger - it felt ten times worse. He had been a bad boy.

"Leah that's enough" Logan scolded as he stomped in from the kitchen and threw a tea towel down on the couch. He moved to pick up the teary eyed boy and began rubbing his back. He'd been trying to ignore it as he cooked and arranged dinner but he couldn't. She was a different person to the one he met, the one he married not nearly two months ago. Back then she would have never yelled at him, at Ethan. Back then she was in love with him, but as the days passed, Logan knew. He knew she was pulling away, pulling her heart away from his after he'd fought so long to have it. It was all coming apart.

"Go to hell" She snarled, her eyes darkening by the second. Of course Logan would stand up for Ethan. Maybe all the guys in her life would just gang up on her and leave her for dead on the side of the road. She could already see it now. Seth, Jacob, Logan and Ethan all sitting there all smug like while she did nothing but gasp out her last breath.

"Will you listen to yourself?" Logan yelled, as he placed Ethan down on the couch and stomped after his wife who had taken off down the hallway. "Don't walk away from me Leah. Don't you turn your back on me"

"Or what?" She stopped, spinning around to snarl at him. He knew she wanted him to hit her, choke her, do something to take some of the pain away - but he couldn't. Even when Leah was being completely unreasonable, he loved her down to every last scowl on her face. Even if she snuck into the bedroom late at night and placed a pillow over his face to kill him, that he would love her.

"I want us to go and see Dr Viller." He said calmly, making it sound like an answer not a question.

"A shrink?" Leah scoffed as she shook her head "I don't need to see a shrink"

Before she could spin back around and lock herself in the bedroom, Logan caught her wrists and stopped her "I want us to see him and go to his relationship counselling sessions" His eyes were soft, pleading. He wanted to save their marriage and did not want to end up like everyone else. Alone and with nothing. He'd given her time to herself, time to think. It hadn't been an easy feat to take over all of the house duties, looking after Ethan and working fulltime as well. Sue helped out a lot with Ethan and Logan couldn't believe that he was even starting to get along with Billy Black.

"Everything's fine" She snapped, trying to pull her hands out of his.

"Everything is not fine" Logan growled, as he held tighter, trying to subdue her struggling. "See! You wont even let me touch you" He cried as he let go of her hands and watched her stumble back against the wall.

"I don't like to be touched" She said softly, rubbing her wrists which still lingered with the heat of his touch. She couldn't risk allowing him to get so close to her.

"Leah please" He whispered, stepping forward and reaching out to her.

Stumbling away and out of his reach she all but yelled "Don't touch me, don't!"

Logan was angrier now than he'd ever been. His fists were balled by his sides and without warning one of them shot through the air and punched the plaster board of the wall, cracking it instantly. His teeth grinded against each other and he had to close his eyes to compose himself. No matter how many times he told her that he loved her, it was like he was speaking a different language. "You think you are the only one who lost something Leah? That was my baby too damn you. My child. You lost something we both wanted." He growled out, feeling heat licking at his neck.

He'd never screamed at her, at any woman in his life. As a kid he grew up watching so many men abuse their wives, use them as punching bags when life threw them a bad hand or a shit day. After seeing his own Aunt crumpled on the kitchen floor and picking up pieces of smashed china with bare hands and a black eye, he knew he wasn't going to be that kind of man. He would never touch Leah like that - not ever.

"I lost, I lost" She repeated with wide eyes as she slowly nodded and slid to the ground. She knew it. She knew he blamed her. Her and her stupid genetically modified body. The body that should have been barren in the first place. He hated her, he hated looking at her everyday and knowing she couldn't give him the family he wanted. He hated looking at her knowing that she was different, broken and chipped. _She _wasn't right. _This_ wasn't right. _They_ weren't right.

"Sorry baby, I didn't mean that." He sighed, watching as her body slid down the wall and looked each bit as crumpled as his aunts did that day. He may as well have punched her in the face.

When he crouched down to cup her face in his hands, she winced and turned away from his touch. "I said don't touch me" She murmured as she pulled her knees up and hugged her legs tightly.

"Leah, I love you. Don't make me regret this. Don't push me away, I only want to help"

"For the last time, I don't need your help. I'M FINE!"

Walking back toward the lounge room and picking up Ethan again, Logan sighed. "When you decide to do something other than destroy what we have built, we won't be here. We'll be at your mother's"

Leah instantly scrambled to her feet and tried to pry her son from her husbands steel grip. "You can't take him. Ethan is _my_ son!"

Pulling away Logan rested a now sobbing Ethan on his opposite shoulder. "Leah - you can't take care of him, you can barely feed yourself" he growled as he shook his head at her.

"I am a _good_ mother." She screamed as her arm shot out and dragged the two glass vases off of the buffet, sending them crashing to the ground. Her breath was coming in small harsh pants and she felt her heart squeeze in her chest. This wasn't like the other times, this was real physical pain.

"Lee baby. You need help. Let us help you. Ethan and I need you to be okay." He explained in a soft voice. Truth was he needed her to be okay, needed her to be his Leah again.

"Get away from me. Don't touch me." she cringed, the pain in her chest tightening and making it hard for her to breathe.

"Were leaving" Logan announced as he walked towards the door, Ethan in his arms holding in for dear life and the keys to the SUV in the other.

"FINE! LEAVE! By the time you come back, I won't be here." She hissed, clawing at her chest and feeling the palpitations of her heart falter.

"And where will you go?"

"Anywhere is better than staying here. I can't breathe here. You're choking me, suffocating the life out of me" She coughed, as her head began to spin and her vision began to blacken. She could feel her heart thump in her chest and it felt like it was going to explode from her breast plate.

"I never asked you for much Leah. Only your love" Logan whispered over his shoulder as he closed the front door behind him. Maybe this would be the opportunity to make her realize that he was serious, that he would do anything to fix them. Even if it meant leaving for a while.

Leah lent forward and gripped on to the arm of the couch. The deep churning breaths she was taking weren't helping and the pain only seemed to intensify. It felt like a tonne of bricks were heaving down on her chest and crushing the life out of her.

She knew what this was. Her daddy had died the same way. He'd died that day in the hallway, watching as his only daughter turned into a monster.

It seemed strange that when her body collided with the cold hard floors she didn't think about Logan nor her son Ethan. Not a thought was spared for her mother or brother either.

She thought about the one man who was forever in her life but always so far away. Like being ship wrecked in a ocean, surrounded by water but not being able to let a drop hit her lips. Drinking the water would ensure a slow painful death, one that would kill her slowly and without remorse. After all these years she finally realized what it was like-

To die...

... From a broken heart.

* * *

AN - You have all waited so long for an update (almost a month) so here it is... a very long one for all of your wonderful reviews and everyone deciding to fav and alert this fic. And being the sadistic person I am, I couldn't leave y'all feeling good and happy. So, BAM, cliff hanger to keep you on the edge of your seat until the next. *grins like a madman* Hopefully I can start on the next chap over the long weekend, but I fear my love of Easter eggs and a stomach ache as a result of such, will destroy any such hope. But until next time, I. Love. y'all!


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

**PART l FOURTEEN**

Harry sat on the old broken bark log, his daughter in his arms, his chin upon the crown of her head. The forest was quiet, quiet enough to hear a pin drop and feel the close vibrations of a heard of deer. It was so green and full of life, the springtime that he loved coming closer with each passing day.

The forest had always been in sanctuary. _Their_ sanctuary.

"Daddy" Leah drawled as she pressed her palm against her fathers studying the difference between them. His hand had always been so much bigger, so much warmer than her own. "Do you think ducks go to heaven?" Her hazel brown eyes were so curious and filled with wonder as she looked up at him with that all knowing stare that only a child could posses.

Letting a small chuckle leave his lips he smiled down at her, marvelling at her grace. She was such an inquisitive five year old, so bright - so full of life – just like he'd remembered. "Baby, we've had this discussion before. Ducks do not go to Heaven."

With a small pout on her rosy lips she sniffled, deeply displeased with his answer "But why daddy? Why do ducks not go to heaven. Does God not like ducks?"

"Leah, my dear sweet Leah" he sighed, brushing her hair back into the braid her mother had fixed that morning "You still have so much to learn, so much time left in this world. Let us not talk of death and morbid things"

Scrunching her eyebrows together Leah nodded her head and turned her gaze back to the forest. "Do you think that God will take George anyway?"

Clasping her fingers in his large hand Harry bent to whisper in her ear "Your ancestors will take George home, to his family, to those that loved him first"

"It's not fair daddy. I loved George too. More than his family could. I helped him when he caught his foot in the wire and I always gave him my cereal" Tears welled in her eyes as she fought hard to keep them at bay.

George had been her pet, her best friend, even Seth liked George and didn't scream when she brought him near her baby brother. Seth even smile at George when he had taken his dummy and ran around the house with it in his beak.

"I know baby, but even if you love someone so~o much, you have to let them go. George loved you sweet pea, but even he knew it was time his to go. One day you will find out that even those we love most in the world will die. But that doesn't mean we will love them any less and them us. One day when you have your own family, mummy and daddy will leave too, but that's not to say it's forever. We will go to our ancestors and wait until you join us, were we can be one big happy family again, and live out our days, just like this"

"Why did you die daddy? Why did you leave me?" Leah asked as she brushed her fingers along her father's. She always been so safe in his arms, so safe knowing that he was only a step or two away.

"Honey, I wish it could have been as simple as wanting to stay. My life choices led me down a path of poor health. Your mother always told me to eat more vegetables but like the stubborn ass I was, I didn't listen to her. I'm so sorry I caused you pain"

"Is that why I am here daddy? Did I die too?"

"I wish I could say yes and that I could sit with you like this in my arms forever. But you're not dead honey, you're just in a sort of limbo, a waiting room if you will"

"What if I want to stay here with you? What if I don't want to go back?"

"If that is your choice baby, you can stay with me. But let me show you something first, something that may change your mind"

…

"Where are we daddy?"

"Shh honey, watch -" Leah watched as a man sat crying on a white couch.

His big hands were covering his face, tears slipping through his thick fingers, his chest heaving up and down. The way he cried made a sharp pain pierce through her own chest, her heart throbbing from feeling the pain of his cries. "I know him daddy" Leah whispered, tugging her father to pull him closer.

Leaning down Harry pulled her back towards the shadows to whisper in her ear. "You can not interfere here baby. These are memories"

"I don't remember this" She replied scrunching her face.

"That's because they are not your memories honey. They are his own."

Out of instinct Leah stepped back as a pale looking man came through the door to sit next to the huge russet man. The pale man's eyes shone a peculiar golden hue. Her was wiry, though dangerous looking and she didn't trust him one bit.

"This can't be happening" The large man moaned, his fingers still covering his face. Leah's tiny hands itched to go and pull his hands away and wipe his tears with her own hands but the grasp of her father held her back from doing so.

"I'm truly apologetic Jacob. If I'd have known, I would have never asked you here."

"You couldn't have known. No one did. I just didn't expect - a vampire - a fucking cold one"

Leah whined holding her fathers hand tightly. "I don't want to see this daddy. I don't like it here"

"You have to watch this Leah. This is something you should have seen a long time ago"

"I love her Edward. I love her more. I can't do this. It's not right"

"Maybe you should give her a chance?Maybe she deserves your love too?"

Leah watched the man begin to shake, his fists balling close to his sides, and his teeth clenching together. It felt as if the wind was knocked out of her chest when she saw his face. He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

"You're actually saying you want me to fall in love with her when she's older? She's a child for god sake - a baby vampire" The man hissed, angry that the pale man was insinuating something she didn't understand.

"Her heart beats Jacob. She is not like my family and I. She is like you and Bella was. She is human."

"Don't give me that crap leech. She is not _like_ me. She is not _for_ me."

"But if you gave her a chance-" The pale man begun only to be cut off.

"A chance? Are you serious right now? I have a family to go home to Edward. I have the most amazing woman waiting for me - a baby that will need me - and you expect me to throw it all away for a chance?"

"She is your imprint. Your soul mate. Do you feel nothing for her?"

Leaning back into the couch the russet man ran his hands over his face "That is the problem. I feel everything for her."

"Daddy, I want to go now" Leah asked, turning back to her father who was waiting the conversation unfold.

"Only a few more minutes honey" He assured her, patting her back softly.

"No!" She cried out "I don't like it here"

Taking a deep breath Jacob let out a long sigh. "I can't do this to Leah. I love her. She's my goddamn everything Edward. Leah is what Bella is to you. She's flawed, she's absolutely impossible, but while everything in my head tells me to stay away, I am drawn to her like a moth the the flame.

Bella once told me I was like my very own sun, but the truth is, Leah's the only one that can light me so bright. She's the only one who can understand me completely. She's the only one who believed in me, she always been the one Edward. I worked so hard for her to trust me. To open up to me. You wouldn't believe how watching her smile makes my heart jump into my throat, how when she holds me she doesn't think of anyone else in the world but _me_.

She loves me for me - not because she had to, but because she wants to. I can't throw that away"

"I know this is hard for you Jacob, but this is your destiny. My daughter was made for you. Whether you choose to believe it or not, when the time comes and Renesmee chooses you - which she will - you won't be able to deny her. You've seen it through Sam's eyes a million times."

"If that is my destiny I want nothing to do with it"

"Think this over Jacob. Would you rather risk hurting her now or when your child is old enough to notice you're gone. You can break it off with Leah now and give her a chance to find someone else. A human that won't have to give her up.

A human that could grow old with her, with the child. A human that could keep her and the child safe and out of this mythical life we live. You could give her a _real_ life Jacob. Something I couldn't give Bella. Something I could _never_ give her. You could allow Leah enough time to forget about you - to love another. You could give her time to heal"

Leah's tears streamed down her face, running over her cheeks and pooling to drip at her chin. Her heart stung inside her chest, her bones felt like they were on fire.

"You see baby. Jacob always loved you, even when you think he didn't. Even when you thought he didn't fight for you, he did."

"I want to leave. I don't want to see anymore"

"Okay honey, but we have two more people to see first"

…

Rachel jumped from the cab of the truck and slammed the door.

"You sure your going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Just wait here a second" she said sternly to Jacob before spinning on her heel and marching up to the door.

She'd left Miko with Paul hoping that if she could talk to Leah, convince her somehow that he needed her back, needed her best friend back, maybe in turn she could help her. Rachel was sick and tried of standing on the side lines. Her son needed his god mother, Logan needed his wife and Ethan needed his mother.

She didn't care how long it took and she wasn't above snapping Leah out of it with a palm right across the face. What had happened was a tragedy, an accident. Some times bad things happened to good people, good people who deserved nothing but the best.

There had been endless nights of worrying for her best friend, nights she'd hid herself in the bathroom so as not to concern her own husband. Leah needed to realise that while she had lost something, she still had so much to live for.

Rapping her knuckles against the door, Rachel stepped back and brushed down her hair that had been flying madly in the truck. She hadn't seen a car in the drive a presumed that Logan must have gone out to get dinner. Turning back to the truck she shrugged at Jacob, silently telling him there had been no answer. Knocking again, she stepped to the side and tried to peer through the window. Lights were on in the house and she could smell something cooking, or perhaps burning, she wasn't quite sure.

"I know you're in there Clearwater! Open up" She called watching for movement inside the large house. Her eyes scanned over the living room, other the furniture, the side tables Logan had built. The TV wasn't on but she could see smoke coming from the kitchen, maybe a boiling pot. Leah had to be home. No one in their right mind would leave food on the stove.

"Leah? Lee?" Shrugging back at Jacob again, he flashed the headlights at her to try harder. Turning back to the door she tried the knob, amazed to find it unlocked. Toeing the door gently with her shoe she pushed the pine back and stepped into the house.

…

"Where are we now daddy?" Leah asked searching her fathers face for some kind of a clue.

"You'll see baby."

"Why is it dark here? I'm scared" She whimpered, afraid of what she was going to see next.

"Don't be frightened honey, nothing can hurt you here. These are only memories. Things that have already come to pass. You are safe here"

Slowly they stepped into a room where only the sound of a low beeping could be heard. Holding on to hers fathers shirt he lifted her and placed her onto his hip so she could see the woman lying in the white bed.

Her hair was sprawled around her head making her look like a sleeping angel while a clear tube ran over her cheeks and into her nose. She looked so beautiful and yet so tried. Movement on the bed made her realise a man was sitting next to the woman, holding her hand tightly in his while tears streamed from his eyes.

"Why does everyone cry here daddy? Why is everyone so upset? Is he crying because she is dying like George?"

Before her father could answer, the man on the side if the bed began talking.

He was so pretty with his dark green eyes and his dark wavy hair. He reminded her of a boy she used to play with, a boy who patted George once. "Lee baby, if you can hear me I need you to know something-" The pretty man began, making her confused once again.

Turning to her father, Leah frowned. "Why are they always talking about people with _my_ name? Are there lots of Leah's?"

As the man's voice sounded again she turned her head to watch.

"I need you to know that after all this time, that I love you with all my heart. That sounds really lame, I know - but it doesn't make it less true.

I need you to know that the first time Paul tried to set me up with a girl from the Rez that I was sceptical. I mean, _then_- how could I know that the woman he had in mind would end up being my whole world. So I came down, my hopes pinned on meeting a nice girl who I would go on a skiing trip with me and my cousin, maybe get a kiss and a phone call once I went back home. Man - was I wrong." He chuckled, breathing out a long shaking breath and kissing the woman's knuckles gently. There was so much gentleness behind his actions and he was so deeply concerned for her health.

"It's strange cause when I saw you through the window at the house, you looked so scared, liked I'd hurt you, but then - _then_ you smiled, and whoa - you stole the breath straight out of my chest. No other woman had ever be able to do that, not then and not since. Only you.

After that day, that skiing trip, I knew I couldn't go back to my old life. I couldn't go back to being a lonely man with nothing to live for, with nothing but the promise of a career and a long empty life. When we stood at that lake, the one that was frozen over, I knew I wanted to marry you. Again totally lame but very true.

I know when you wake up you are probably not going to remember this, but I swear to you, I will devote everyday of my life making sure that you feel like the only woman that exists for me. I know you took a chance on me Leah, and I know that you will always love Jacob more than you love me, but I am grateful for what you have given me.

In saying that we _have_ time, so much time. Our lives are only just beginning. And children - we can try again baby, not right away but when you are ready. Even if Ethan is the only child we have I want you to know that it is enough. I want to you to know that he will always be apart of me like you are , that you will both _always_ mean everything to me.

I love you baby, please come back to me, back to Ethan and I. We love you so so very much and we _need_ you to be okay, _I_ need you to be okay.

I'm fucking lost without you"

"Daddy, is she going to die?" Leah asked again in only a whisper.

Harry frowned looking down at his only daughter. "One day she will. Like everyone on this earth. But today is not that day"

…

Stepping into the house Rachel could now smell the burning of food. Hurrying to the kitchen she found a boiling pot of pasta on the stove and quickly, by using a tea towel, turned off the gas and pulled the pot from the hot plate. She could feel something was definitely wrong now. It just didn't feel right.

Walking out into the living room she headed for the stairs only to freeze mid step. Something sat beside the lounge, something balled in a giant heap.

Stepping forward her hand automatically flew to her mouth, her knees turning to jello. Like a cat she bounced on the pile trying to shake it awake.

It was Leah. She looked so weak, so frail.

Cupping her best friends face in her hands she noticed the dark circles around her eyes and the pale colour of her lips.

"No, no, no, no"

Rachel could see the blue tinge to Leah's lips which only meant one thing. It was her heart.

"Leah can you hear me. You need to wake up"

Rachel was shaking, her hands fumbling over Leah's lips and cheeks trying to find some warmth but finding only cold skin.

"Oh god no, no please, babe wake up, wake up" She could taste the salt of her own tears slipping over her lips though she didn't even register that she was sobbing.

"JACOB!"

…

"You promise this is the last one?" Leah yawned, pressing her face into her father's shoulder.

"I promise. The last one. Ever – if you so wish it"

Walking into a kitchen, the smell of warm cookies over took her instantly. Her eyes darted to the old fridge in the corner of the room which was littered with coloured drawings and photos. "I know this place" Leah whispered, her eyes widening and a smile tugging at her lips. "Is mummy here?"

"She sure is baby"

"Can I hug her? Do you think she will give us cookies?"

"No baby. The cookies are not for us, but for _him_"

Leah's eyes followed the outstretched arm of her father who was pointing into the living room of her house. Letting go of her father's shirt, he gently let her down out of his arms so she could see what he'd been pointing at. She slowly walked into the living room to find a small boy about the same age as her drawing a colourful picture of what looked like his family.

He was pretty good, better than she could ever draw.

"Is it okay if I sit with him?" She asked, turning to her father issuing a small nod.

Sitting down gingerly, she crane her neck and watched as he drew, an assorted array of coloured pencils around him.

"Ethan baby, what you got there?" Her mother smiled, walking into the room with a pile of washing to be folded.

"Just a drawing Nanna." He frowned, the tip of his pencil sliding and slipping from the lines. Leah could see the tears welling up in his eyes as he looked over the now destroyed picture. Anger flashed in his eyes as he tore the piece from his scrap book and threw it in a corner.

"I can't do anything right" He whined, moving from his knees to his behind and placing his hands over his eyes. Her mother quickly dropped the washing basket and hovered over the boy. He was really handsome. He was pretty cute with his chin length black hair, and his pink lips, but there was something else, something about his eyes that had her mesmerised.

"Ethan, what's wrong love? Why did you do that to your drawing?" Sue whispered as she wedge herself next to him and patted her hand through his hair.

"I ruined it." He sobbed his face buried in his hands. "I ruined it and now she is going to hate me more"

"Who will hate you?" Ethan sniffled and sobbed a few times before answering.

"My mum. My mum will hate it. She's so sad all the time and I can't even do a drawing right"

"Oh honey no" Sue whispered, pulling him up by his arms and clinging him to her chest. "That's not true" She cooed rubbing warm circles up and down his back. "She loves you very much, we all do"

Leah felt her heart sink and tears leaked down her face. "Is it true daddy? Does his mummy hate him?"

Harry looked sternly at the little girl in front of him. "You tell me Leah, do you?"

Looking back at the two huddled on the floor she frowned. "I love her Nanna but she won't even come anywhere with me or my dad. She doesn't like me anymore. I make her sad all the time"

Sue wiped at her own face, trying to dry the tears in her eyes before her grandson could see them. "It's not you baby. I promise it isn't. Leah – your mum, she just really sad but it's not your fault okay. It could never be your fault."

Burying his face in her blouse he allowed his breathing to settle and his tears to dry. "I just want her to be happy Nanna. I want my mum back" His little arms wove around Sue's body as she remained tightly holding him.

"She will come back to you Ethan. She will come back to us all"

…

"Come on Leah, stay with us" Jacob whispered as he hugged Rachel tightly to his chest. They'd managed to restart her heart for only a second while at the house and knew they couldn't risk moving her themselves. They needed an ambulance.

"I can't lose her Jake. I can't" Rachel sobbed, staining Jacob's shirt with her tears. Her arms wove around him, clutching tightly to his body to find some sort of stability. Her world was shaken, falling and brick by brick it began to unravel.

"You won't Rach, you won't" He replied, kissing her hair and glancing over her head.

The paramedics had been quick to arrive and they prayed that it would be just as fast getting her to a hospital. They could both hear the whizzing sound of the heart rate monitor and both knew it was abnormal. Rachel closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to watch as the defibrillator slammed into her chest again, jolting her whole body from the bed in a violent manner.

…

The whole forest shook around them as Harry held her tightly.

Leah watched as tree after tree in front of them fell to the ground, the explosion of bark and leaves fanning high up into the air. "What's happening daddy?" Leah cried as she tried to cover her ears from the deafening sound around them.

"It's time to choose baby. Time to make a choice" He called to her, pulling her hands from her ears.

"What choice?" She screamed, turning in his arms and hugging him tightly, her body trembling against his.

"The choice only _you_ can make" He whispered, tucking all her hair back out of her face and cupping her head in his hands.

"I'm afraid" She whined, biting down on her bottom lip and glancing over her shoulder to see yet another row of trees fall to the ground.

"I know" He breathed, kissing her forehead. "I know" Pulling her face gently away, he kissed her nose lightly and smiled. "Life is about choices Leah. You end it here, right now, or you go back and face all of those people. You make right the wrongs in your life, you make good on those promises you made. But most of all, you forgive yourself. To forgive is to heal baby. Forgive yourself."

"But daddy-"

"Hurry sweetie, there is not much time left"

The thundering crack of a tree resounded around them, but Leah never took her eyes off her father. Those kind warm eyes that she could trust, that she knew wouldn't hurt her. The eyes she knew were there only to protect.

Hugging him tightly, she closed her eyes and whispered in his ear, letting him know what she wanted to do.

* * *

AN - I loved this chapter, it's so~o 'Inception' like... lol. I hope I didn't confuse anyone. *squee* Thanks to all those lovelies that reviewed, if I had Sue's home made cookies, you know who would be totally getting some in their inboxes! I hope this didn't have too many spelling mistakes etc in it. BTW I totally wrote half of this on my IPhone and then emailed it to myself... 0_o? Yeah I know, it's almost like texting myself! (weirdo) BUT - I wanted to get this out ASAP because you are also so good and deserve cake.

So what do you think is going to happen? Could you leave your own life in tatters? Or would you go back and try to change it?

Most important question of all still remains - TEAM JACOB OR TEAM LOGAN?


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

Part** ll **Fifteen

_10 years later..._

LeahPOV

The house and bed are cold when I wake. I don't know what time it is with the room hidden by the black back curtains, but I feel as if I've slept an entire lifetime. My sore corked muscles are looser than they have been since phasing and the dreaded knot in my shoulder blade is nothing more than a dull throb. Pain, it seems, comes with age.

The house is quiet as I take the stairs, one by one counting each wooden panel. My bottom lip is drawn into my mouth but I shake off the nervousness before I hit the twelfth step.

It's not like me to be nervous but the giant ball of uneasiness won't disappear from my stomach. Like an ever growing wave it thrashes against my insides, twirling and swaying both emotions and thoughts.

My feet can feel the vibration of paws skittering around the outskirts of the property, too far out to be spotted but close enough to be known. Like clockwork they fade in and out, the patrol circuit only coming so close to the reservation houses, before heading back out toward First Beach and around the boarders of LaPush. Even with the vampires long gone, Sam still has the boys run.

I smell him before I see him, crouching quietly near the porch steps. I watch for a moment as he lays out his tools, sanding paper and other items he'll need. The mid-morning sun has a sheen film of sweat gathering on his forehead and I smile smugly to myself knowing just what else gets him worked up.

I hadn't been a sweat-is-sexy kinda girl with Sam. It was just wrong in so many ways. But with _him,_ it's a primal, automatic switch that is pushed to get my girly parts all excited. Granted he doesn't actually smell like sweat. More like forest and ocean, like freedom and loyalty.

My bare toes almost curl on the tiles as I watch him grab the collar of his shirt to pull it up and over his head. Over the years he's put on little weight and even though he knows I love him the way he is, he stays physically active for his health. He's promised me forever, and he's trying his best to give it to me.

Wiping his forehead he stuffs the rag into his back pocket. Folding a piece of the paper, he gently begins to sand down the lip of the porch step. He knows how much I hate that certain step, my poor heel taking one hell of a scraping, often returning home from the store or hurrying out to run errands in the mornings.

Looking down at my heel I chuckle. No matter how fast it heels, the pain of that step stays with me. The sudden tearing of skin and loud curse words are always a feature, with my poor husband being the butt of my anger. Replying with a 'Well, if you would lift your feet,' doesn't help his cause more than it does shatter it.

Grabbing the pencil from behind his ear, he stencils a line across the plank. The definition in his arms make me giggle, knowing how much the ladies from the old people's home appreciate a good dose of eye candy. Each time we take Billy for his weekly card game, they have him blushing in less than five seconds flat. I swear if I didn't put a ring on his finger, the ladies would maul my poor baby to death.

"Mamma," a tiny voice asks, tugging on the leg of my pyjamas. Looking down I smile as I see his sleepy eyes staring up at me. He drags up his blue wolf toy as his hands reach for me.

Leaning down I pick him up, kiss his soft cheek and balance him on my hip. He's always an early riser just like his daddy.

"What's daddy doing?" he yawns, glancing out the kitchen window to watch his father begin to saw the edge of the wood.

"Fixing the step. How did you sleep?" I ask, nuzzling my nose into his soft brown curls. He still smells like he did when I held him for the first time. Right against my heart.

"Okay. But Beetle snored," he smiles, tucking the stuffed wolf with the strangest name I've ever heard, between us.

"Where's your sister?" I whisper, glancing toward the upper level, expecting our rampant five year old daughter to bounce down the stairs in all her loud glory.

"She's still sleeping." Jeremiah whispers back. "Can we have pancakes like grandma makes?" he asks, completely forgetting about his sister. He's shy, timid and very sensitive. He's my little precious heart. My love.

I can't deny my children anything and soon we are busily making breakfast. Jeremiah picks each blueberry up, inspecting its size before adding it to the mixing bowl carefully. A line of flour appears on his cheek as he wipes his face. I smile and lean down to kiss his head, his ever present innocence waning my heart.

"What was that for?" my boy asks as he tilts his head back. His eyes are curious as he awaits an answer.

"Because I love you."

The loud toot of a familiar horn sounds, and before I can catch him, Jeremiah and his blue hands are running to the door.

"Mom, Ethan's back." he squeals excitedly.

His brother is his hero, everything Ethan does, Jeremiah wants to mimic. No matter what the risks.

"Honey, slow down," I plead, chasing the little boy out the door in the unsexiest pyjamas I own.

Ethan allows his little brother to tackle him to the ground, even though my oldest is as strong as any man. There are similarities in the boys but their eyes separate them. Neither have my eyes, but I suppose it doesn't matter. They are proof of things I love, or have loved. Nothing about them, I regret. Nothing.

Jacob stands by his truck, Ethan's bag over his shoulder. My heart skips a little beat as he stands watching me intently, looking exactly as I remember him. He's still the Jacob I loved, still the man that gave me hope, still the alpha I would follow to the ends of the earth.

His neatly trimmed hair and well groomed face propel me back into the past. Of warm nights, of tribal bonfires and of hushed exchanges on his single bed. It goes without saying, but he looks happier being a part of Ethan's life. Being a part of something that only we share.

I want to speak to him but I know there are few words left between us. I chose Logan, and Ethan. I chose my husband and my son. I chose to live for them and to make right the wrongs in my life. I chose to forgive, forget and grovel to them both for the rest of my natural life. Jacob didn't have a choice. But I did.

In the end Ethan deserves to know his real father. Deserves to spend time with Jacob and find out why I'd fallen in love with him so long ago. Even though things have worked out the way they did, Jacob also deserves the same. I can't condemn him for eternity, and segregating him from his son would only hurt them both.

"Thanks Dad. I'll see ya in two weeks." Ethan says as he bumps shoulders with Jake. At fifteen he's my big boy and I smile when he comes straight to me for my I-missed-you-so-much hug.

Having him in my arms, I kiss his head and send him up to the house with his little brother. Jeremiah chats happily about his day at First Beach with Logan while Ethan's been away.

Walking toward the truck I feel exposed. Crossing my arms over my cotton covered chest I allow only a miniscule smile.

"Thank you for taking him for the weekend."

Jacob seems distant as he glances toward the house, watching as my boys enter it. "It's not a problem, Leah. You know I love having him. The whole family does."

I bite back a frown. Knowing that my son legitimately likes the Cullen's irks me the wrong way. But it's his life, and however he and Jake chose to spend their time together, is not up to me.

Glancing at me, Jacob leans back to rest on his truck. His large hands are shoved deep into his pockets and for the first time in our lives the air around us is awkward.

"Rachel's pregnant again." he states vaguely.

Thinking of my best friend's ever growing brood I smile. "She's hoping for a girl."

"Hm."

Ethan's told me about his father's relationship with Renesmee Cullen. I try my best to weasel out of hearing what my son has to say, but he's persistent and innocently believes that he can fix people's problems. He can't fix Renesmee from being a spoilt little brat much like he can't stop his mother from embarrassing him at the supermarket when his friends walk by. But, I humour him, and myself, into listening.

I try my best to be diplomatic in each situation and he frowns when few choice words about the Cullen family spill out of my big mouth. Last month's revelation hit me like a tonne of bricks.

_'Dad wants another kid. But Carlisle say's Nessie can't. She's like, different or something.'_

Oh revenge, how bitter you taste. How utterly redeeming and sweet to the victor.

Even though it was unfair for Jacob and devastating for Renesmee, I hadn't been able to help the small smile that graced my lips.

_'Fate, you bitch. You've finally thrown me a line.'_

It was awful of me to think that way and it only lasted a second. Inside, I knew Jacob, and the determination that came with him. He _would_ find a way around it. Much like we had. Even if our skills of planning had lacked back then.

We hadn't ever planned for a baby, hadn't ever even contemplated the chance of getting pregnant. But it happened for us. And no doubt, it would happen for him again.

"Ethan's birthday is coming up," I begin, prying the words from my mouth in an attempt to be civil. "We were planning something small. Something here. It would be nice to have all his... family here, instead of having two separate parties."

It's like word dribble, and even though Logan and I had talked about it, I still grimace when it finally comes out.

"Thanks Leah." and the way Jacob answer's me tells me it's for so much more than a birthday invite. "How's Logan?"

"Logan's just fine," my husband answers as he makes his way to us, no malice present in his voice.

He's been good to me over the years, better than I deserve, and he understands how much I need him to be on my side, in everything we do. Specks of saw dust stick to his chest and I fight to keep the blush in my cheeks away.

Reaching out, Logan and Jacob shake hands. "How are you, Jake?"

"Good man, good."

Feeling Logan's arm wrap around my back and hold my waist I smile. "I was just telling Jacob about Ethan's birthday."

...

"You okay?" Logan asks me as he strides into the kitchen, dropping a kiss on Susie's forehead as she colours within her book. Her tongue is poked out and her concentration is so high, I'm not even sure if she notices her father.

"I'm fine." I smile as he saunters toward me as I sit with Jeremiah on my lap. Softly he strokes my cheek, tipping my head back so he can kiss me with those perfect bow lips.

"Gross, guys," Ethan squirms, his cheeks flushing red as he finishes the last of his homework, trying his hardest not to meet either of our eyes.

"It's not my fault your mother's so hot," he smirks causing Ethan to groan and shake his head.

"Are you hot because you're sick, mommy?" Jeremiah asks as he looks up at me, his small hands working at the ball of play dough.

"No, baby," I laugh, humming into his soft brown curls and shooting a death glare in Logan's direction. "Your father's just teasing."

Susie lets out a dissatisfied grumble as she once again tears the colouring page from her book and scrunches it in her small palm.

Huffing she wipes clean a new page and begins her work all over again.

Logan stands to play with the braid that runs over her shoulder. "What's wrong, baby girl?" he whispers as he crouches down, putting himself at eye level with our daughter.

It's the only time she's not picking on her brothers or trying to boss her father around. Drawing, painting and other like activities mellow our very authoritive, very head strong daughter, and we are both very grateful for the interest she takes in it.

"I can't get it right, Daddy. It looks _stupid_," she replies as Logan picks up the crumbled paper and unfurls its destruction.

"I think it looks very beautiful," he smiles as he places the paper back on the table and kisses her head.

"You _have_ to think that. You're my dad."

"You're right. But you're beautiful, so everything you do is an extension of your beauty."

Logan allows Susie to grumble away while I laugh quietly under my breath. She's such an exuberant little girl it's sometimes hard to believe she doubts herself so much. She's like me in so many ways that it not only scares me, but my own mother as well.

"I think you and mommy are the prettiest girls in the world," Jeremiah comments quietly, his big brown eyes trained on the red dough between his hands.

...

"Say bye to grandpa," I whisper as I scoop Susie up into my arms and heave her crayon filled backpack onto my shoulder.

"See ya grandpa. See you tomorrow," she yells excitedly, as if Billy is hundreds of meters away. I blink a few times to make sure my hearing is still intact.

"Thanks for looking after the rugrat, Billy."

He smiles, that warm familiar Black smile at me before replying. "It's always a pleasure Lee. You know I can always use a spare chef in the house."

"Yeah mom. Grandpa taught me how to make pizza pockets!" my daughter says, excitedly kicking my hip as if I am a rodeo horse.

I give Billy a drained look and roll my eyes. I love my daughter, with all my heart, no matter what, but she was a handful. I finally felt karma kicking my ass on my mother's behalf.

Billy waves to Susie, as I place her in the car and help her buckle up.

"I can buckle myself," she states confidently as she tugs on the belt and wrestles with the metal.

"Okay, big woman. I'll leave you to it then."

I wait to make sure she has the belt in the buckle before moving to the driver's seat.

Even though Susie is not Billy's real granddaughter he loves her very much the same as he loves Ethan.

All the children love Billy, especially the two younger ones. Ethan doesn't mind sharing his grandfather with his siblings but I make sure my eldest does get exclusive time with the old man.

By the time we make it home Susie is fast asleep, her small hand clutching the coloured pasta necklace she made with Logan the weekend before. My girl had been so proud of her jewellery making skills she hadn't let the thing out of her sight.

Sometimes I wonder about the baby that never was. I'll wake up early or in the middle of the night and just stare at the ceiling thinking about what could have been.

I'm usually only sad for a moment. Because how can I be upset in the life I have now? Logan and I have managed to create two beautiful children together to add to the joy we already had with Ethan. We loved each other, we got by financially, and we finally had our little family. Life was perfect in every way.

So instead of brooding and thinking too hard in those moments, I wrap my husband's arm around me and cuddle towards him. With his warmth and scent I drift back into a dreamless slumber.

...

"Hey mom, look, dad made it," Ethan smiles as he jogs over to the big truck pulling up near the driveway. Behind the other swarm of cars they talk, I suppose, seeing as I don't have eyes on them.

Ethan's loud whoop rings in my ears before he pushes forward the gift his father has brought him.

Jacob had wisely called a week before and discussed the present. I'd been specific in what I didn't want for my boy. Jacob had his sights on a car, not only a car but a super-fast one. I almost phased in the living room. Something I hadn't done in a long time.

"Mum, check it out. Jake got me a bike." Ethan's grin is so wide it looks like his face is going to spilt.

I'd talked Jacob down into something more practical and much less fast. The dirt bike is red and grey and looks just as good as any road bike.

"You're not allowed on the road until you get your permit," I say firmly as I hug my son to stop him from jumping out of his skin. His smile falters only a little before I speak again. "But - I don't think your uncle Paul will mind if you use the tracks behind his house," I whisper.

Rachel greets Jacob happily with a hug and ushers her children to greet their uncle before they are too high on soda and fizz whizz to care.

People eat and drink to their hearts content and my heart swells as I watch my son explain to his cousins that they're going to totally rip up the mud tracks tomorrow.

Miko shoves Ethan playfully having a bike himself, and they bicker back and forth comically in whose going to ride the track the fastest.

"He seems to like the bike," a deep husky voice sounds behind me.

I fight to keep my body from tensing but it's no use. "He loves it, Jacob. Thank you."

"He's a good kid. He deserves it."

I nod my head and Jacob takes a seat beside me on the log. Jeremiah and Susie sit contently around Billy, listening to the old stories he tells. About the wolves, the cold ones, Taha Aki and the third wife. Jeremiah can barely keep his eyes open and Susie looks like she's about to burst from excitement. She loves when Billy talks about the wolves. They're her favourite animal. Especially after finding out her mother used to be one.

"He's been talking about college." I tell Jacob as I slide my cold hands under thighs. "He's growing up so fast and I don't know what I'm going to do without him."

"He's a smart kid, Lee. He'll be fine. And so will you."

Feeling Jacob's hand on my shoulder makes me shirk back. It's not that it's not welcome; it's that I don't particularly want to remember it.

"Sorry," he mumbles, pulling away abruptly.

"No. I should be sorry. I don't mean to... be... this way, I just-"

"Mommy, mommy. Guess what?" Susie yells as she hurls toward me, knocking into me and clinging onto my neck with her small arms.

"What is it?" I say, sounding a little panicked and looking for Ethan and Jeremiah.

"Grandpa Billy says one day I'm gonna be a wolf. He says usually only boys get to be wolves, but he promised that I can be one too."

"That's nice sweetie," I exhale, kissing her head before she dashes madly toward her cousins to inform them of her newly acquired news.

Jacob chuckles and shakes his head. "Wow. She's... energetic."

"Shut up, Black," I smile as I swat his arm.

"She's got Leah Clearwater written all over her."

"Thanks a lot, jerk face."

...

"Tonight was tiring," Logan whispers as he sneaks up behind me and runs his fingers along my hip.

"It was." I sigh, leaning back into my husband to let the heat of him soak through my clothes.

"Where are the babies?" he breathes as his lips nibble against the skin of my neck.

Holding his hands still on my waist, I tilt my head with a smile. "They're hardly babies."

He strokes my stomach with his pinkie as he buries his face in my neck with a groan. "Please tell me they're asleep."

"Why," I ask as I giggle, "Are you feeling naughty?"

"Oh hell yeah," he replies with a growl.

"Well, Ethan's gone to Rachel and Paul's to hang out with the boys and the two munchkins are fast asleep."

"Thank you," he sighs as he moves the strap of my top off my shoulder to kiss my skin. I shiver under his lips as he runs his hand down my arm.

"For what?" I say softly as I turn in his arms.

Taking a breath, he cups my face and runs his thumb over my lips. "For tonight. For the last ten years. For everything. For always."

"Logan," I start but he hushes me with a kiss.

"I know how hard it was for you," he says softly. "How hard it was to replace Jake. I understand. I do. But I want to thank you for choosing me."

"Baby," I whisper, tears gathering in my eyes as I grab his face to mimic his actions. "I love _you_. I love _our _children. _Our_ life."

"I know you do, I just-"

"Logan." I say sternly grabbing his face a little harder. "You are my choice. _You_ are. Not Jacob. Not anyone else. You."

"Thank you," he whispers as he leans forward to kiss me again.

"Take me to bed," I breathe between kisses, wanting to show my husband how much I love him.

"Yes, ma'am."

With a grin he picks me up, enjoying the squeal I let out.

...

JacobPOV

Parking the truck in the drive I sit in the cab, alone and in complete darkness. That doesn't stop me from seeing though. I see everything in the darkness, even things I wish not to see.

I see Nahuel's Prius parked in the drive, not too far from my truck. I see Renesmee's light on. I see the shadows that move across the room.

Closing my eyes, I breathe in the stillness of the night around me. The night's air is cool on my skin for only a second before the heat of my wolf diminishes the feeling. The air is tainted with the slight smell of sticky toffee and rotten apples.

Making my way into the house I throw my keys to the bench and reach for a beer in the fridge. I contemplate calling the big vampire, Emmett, over from the main house to the cabin for a game on the Xbox but think better of it.

Sitting down, I kick off my shoes and wait for Ness and our guest vampire to make their way down stairs. I wonder if it is appropriate to still call someone a guest after living in a particular place for longer than six months. The Cullen's, as well as my wife, insisted that Nahuel stay after his Aunt had decided to part ways with the hybrid. I wonder if he is ever going to leave. Probably not, not after he knocks my wife up.

Carlisle had explained to us that Renesmee had to mate with her own species in order to have children. Something about an extra chromosome that didn't kick into effect until her seventh birthday.

She is every bit a vampire as each day passes. Gradually over the years her diet of human food has turned exclusively to blood. While the idea pisses me off, I can't do anything to stop it. She wants it and she is my imprint. End of story.

"Oh, Jacob. You're back." My wife says sweetly as she adjusts her top and smooths out the crease of her jeans. Leaning over the couch she kisses my cheek and squeezes my shoulder.

"Jacob, friend, it's nice to see you again," Nahuel murmurs as he makes his way down the steps, his military style boots unlaced.

Nothing surprises me anymore and I don't have the energy to bring up the subject again. The fact that they are both sleeping together, I don't so much mind. The fact that they can't even cover it up to spare my feelings is the bit that irks me the most. Not to mention that the smell that lingers on the both of them is like a slap in the face.

"How was the party? Was it awesome? Did Ethan like his present?" Renesmee speaks too fast and her cheeks flush at the raised brow I shoot in her direction.

She's never really been interested in Ethan, but over the years has accepted that my son, who is a part of me, will always be that way.

"Yeah, he loved it." I smile to myself as I nurse my beer and run my hand over my hair. It feels a little greasy and I stretch out my back thinking about how amazing a hot shower would be right now.

"Dearest Renesmee, I must be leaving, I will see you tomorrow," Nahuel calls as he rolls up the sleeves of his dark green shirt.

"Really? Already. Okay then, see you tomorrow." She seems disappointed with her 'friends' departure and I smirk knowing that I had interrupted something which they had obviously been engaged in.

Nahuel seems to notice the small pout on her lips, and as if I am not even there, presses his own against them in a quick kiss before closing the door behind him.

Chuckling humorously I kick my feet up and rest them on the coffee table.

"Are you hungry Jake? I could have Esme bring something for you?" my wife asks, her golden eyes like orbs as she watches me.

"I'm fine. Rachel fed me plenty." I wave her off, knowing that the small talk will only lead to another fight.

Nessie knows I love her. That I can't leave her. So she stays married to me. She knows that whenever she goes I will have to follow. It's the curse of the imprint.

Ever since her change in diet though, the imprint has weakened. I haven't dared to tell a soul. Not that I can confined in anyone but the Cullen's. Carlisle had been a big help in discovering that since the appearance of Nessie's extra chromosome that not only was her body changing but my feelings for her also. I still loved her; however it wasn't all consuming as it used to be. Not as it had been in the beginning.

Edward has asked multiple times if I am going to try and break the imprint now that it's weakened. I never answer him and try to never think about the repercussions. Nessie would be hurt but she would have Nahuel, and the Cullen's would go on existing as if nothing had ever changed. Me, I would be alone.

There are only two people I think about when I picture myself doing such a thing. Ethan... and Leah. Everyday memories flood me, hidden and forgotten memories, mostly of Leah, mostly of growing up, of my family, friends and my home on the reservation. I block them out as best as I can.

I don't deserve them. Any of them. So instead I carry on.

My son is happy, my... _Leah_ is happy. And I wouldn't dare destroy any of that for my own gain. She... _they_ deserve better. They deserve Logan. They deserve the family they have made for themselves.

I will live with the consequences of my choices, the weakness of my being and the turmoil of my heart. I will live my days in the web I have weaved and allow Leah and Ethan to continue to live theirs.

Of all the things I could give them, this was it.

...

LoganPOV

Coming home and finding my wife re-visiting her lunch in the bathroom is terrifying. Until she hands me the small white stick from her shaking hands. Then my world officially tips upside down.

"We're pregnant?" I whisper, with what could possibly be the biggest smile ever on my face.

"Stop being so happy," Leah sobs as she wipes her mouth and nurses her head in her hands.

"Baby," I coo, as I sit down against the tub and pull her in between my thighs. "Are you upset or happy?"

"I don't know," she cries, though the more she does, the more I am convinced that it isn't the whole truth. Leah doesn't deal well with pregnancies and she is always on edge wondering if she will make it to full term.

"Shhh, honey. Come here." I say softly, laying her head back against my chest and rocking her from side to side. "It's okay. It's going to be fine."

Pregnancy hormones kick in by the third month. Leah can barely last ten minutes in the car without wanting to puke. She's the most beautiful woman in the world and seeing her pregnant with my child again was just the topping on my ego filled cake.

Jeremiah likes sleeping on Leah's lap and listening to the baby move, even if it is too early to do so. Susie talks quietly to the baby at night, telling it the stories Billy has told her and Ethan congratulates us both with red cheeks and a hug. Poor kid is due to go off to college soon and he's getting a new sibling as well. His friends must think his parents are crazy. Paul and Rachel sure did.

Sue squeals and kisses Leah's face while Charlie gives me one of those manly pats on the back, like it was me who did all the work and that he's proud.

Six months later our son is born Xavier Damien Meraz, eight pounds three with jet black hair and dark grey eyes. He is the apple of Leah's eye and every doubt she's had throughout the pregnancy has instantly diminished.

Sometimes I would find her sitting near his coat, watching him sleep and he sucked lovingly on his pacifier. I'd usher her to bed and tuck her in, telling her how much I love her and how proud of her I am.

With everything going so good I don't have time to look back on the baby that never was. Though the babies' memory remains in my heart, my other children have taken frontage. Ethan is finally off at college, his sights set on Engineering and then the military. Susie takes more and more interest in her drawing, enough for Leah and I to enrol her in extra classes for especially that. Jeremiah has only just started 'big' school and Xavier is learning _not_ to copy the words his uncle Paul says, 'hot' being his first much to Leah's shock.

"Jesus Christ," Leah swears as she spots me coming up the porch with the bundle of fluff in my hands.

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus," Xavier chants as he hits his car against the wood and crawls toward me.

Picking up my son I let him investigate the pup. Xavier giggles as the puppy licks his face and hair excitedly, wagging its tails like a rudder.

"Logan," Leah sighs tiredly.

"Please baby, can we keep him?" I plead, putting on the sad panda face for my wife. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist. Not with me pleading and Xavier enjoying himself so much with the puppy.

"Fine," she grumbles as I kiss her lightly and take off inside to show Susie and Jeremiah.

Susie complains that the dog leaves hair on her comforter, while Jeremiah lets Jesus sleep in his bed. Xavier is only interested in the pup when it is either running away from him or when it is eating its food. Leah's face is priceless when she walks into the kitchen to find Xavier eating Jesus's dog biscuits straight from the bowl.

After tucking in the munchkins for bed I allow myself a quick shower before making my way to our room. Finding my wife on the bed with Jesus is not what I am expecting after her initial snubbing of the pup.

"I thought you didn't like him," I chuckle, watching as she scratches his head and moves him to the floor.

"Jeremiah almost suffocated the poor thing in his blankets. By accident of course."

"Hmm." I remark as I sit down on the edge of the bed and stretch out my leg. Getting older seems to flare the old injured knee more often these days.

"You okay," she whispers, crawling up onto her knees and draping her arms over my shoulders and chest. Watching her fingers skim along my skin makes me shudder.

"Of course," I smile softly, holding her hands against me. I am always okay with Leah.

Laying down I pull her with me and tuck us in. She looks at me curiously as she strokes my hair from my face. Her touch is so warm I can't help but lean into it and be engulfed by it.

"How was your day," I sigh as she burrows into me and draws patterns across my arm.

"Susie stole the neighbour's cat, claiming they were mistreating it. Xavier got into my handbag and I found him eat my lip balm. Jeremiah found out that Santa doesn't exist. And Ethan has a girlfriend."

"Hm. So just another day at the office?" I chuckle as I lift her chin so I can see her eyes. Leah's been content with raising our children while I worked; however, wanting her to live to her full potential is also a hope of mine.

"Yep." she grins as she kisses my chin.

"Have you talked to your mom about minding the kids after you enrol?" I ask, running my thumb across her cheek. It pinkens slightly as I softly groan from the softness of her skin. She works so hard with our children and with the house, it's amazing how she stays so warm and inviting.

"You really think I should?" she mumbles with doubt in her eyes.

"Baby, I think if it's what you want to do, you should do it. I can cut back my hours and have the kids when your mom can't and they can always run around down at the park while I coach the boys. Susie will be a great assistant coach. Whip those teenage boys right into shape."

We both chuckle at the thought of our daughter, whistle in hand, barking out orders. She's bossy and short tempered; but still the sweetest little girl ever, even when she dresses her baby brother in girl's clothes and parades him around the yard.

"I think you'll be a great teacher. Plus, with all your experience and insight, I think the kids around here could really benefit."

Cuddling some more she sighs and presses a kiss to my chest. "Thank you." she breathes softly before her body slowly un-tenses and she drifts off into a peaceful slumber.

Tucking her head under my chin, I let her sleep peacefully.

With ten years passed, I smile to myself thinking about the surprises the next ten will bring.

* * *

AN - So... *twirls fingers nervously*... I'm not sure whether I like this ending or if I was just being a lazy ass. But... it is what it is. And hey, maybe I'll do a sequel... much, much further down the track. Maybe a fic for all the kids. I haven't decided yet. And yeah... I totally changed from third person to first for this chapter. I couldn't help it. I wanted everyone to know what the main characters were feeling and how far they have come. I could have broken this up into two chapters but that would just be bitchy of me. You have waited so long for this one as it is.

In saying that, did you think it was going to end the way it did? I could have written for all the years in between but it would have been super vague and it would feel like I was just repeating myself. Plus, I have this thing where I want everyone to suffer and have uber amounts of angst in their lives. I don't think I could do that to Leah anymore. For all intents and purposes, it was a kind of happy ending. Well... for Logan, yeah. For Leah, kind of. For Jacob, *laughs menacingly* not so much. Anyways, thank you for sticking around, thank you all for reviewing and thank you for loving me when Seth Clearwater couldn't. *pouts*


End file.
